


The Hunter that was lost to the world

by aschicca



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Altered Memories, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Anal Sex, Angst, Canon Divergence - Post-Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Infidelity, M/M, Oral Sex, Post-Sirius Black in Azkaban, Prisoner of Azkaban doesn't exist in this universe, Sirius only escapes when Voldemort destroys the prison in Ootp, Slow Burn, possible additional tags in chapter notes, the works, then he runs away and misses the war entirely
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2020-12-28 08:23:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 51,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21133667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aschicca/pseuds/aschicca
Summary: The day Lord Voldemort freed his most loyal Death Eaters from Azkaban, he incidentally saved the only inmate who had been serving a life sentence while being completely innocent.When Voldemort destroyed half of Azkaban to free his followers, he also released Sirius Black. With his memories horribly twisted, Sirius’s only thought is to run as far away as possible. Fate and a chance encounter bring him to Italy, where he finds a new name and a new life. Five years later, Sirius is forced to go back to England…





	1. Take Me Away

**Author's Note:**

> This story was supposed to be just a way for me to survive a hellish summer but in the end it evolved and became something I never thought I could write: It is, as of now, the longest story I've ever written. Recently I lost one of the pillars my life was built on and that reminded me of just how brief our time on this planet can be, and how everything can change in the blink of an eye. Someone I trust suggested I start posting this story immediately even if my Beta still hasn't finished reading it over... and since I'm not in a very good place at the moment and I need any sort of distraction available, I decided to go with that advice.
> 
> I can't give a definite posting schedule for this story but it is complete and I think I'll update twice a week.
> 
> ETA: Thank you to my Beta, Piksa, for all her help and support. All remaining mistakes are mine.

**Winter, 1996**

Time is a fickle thing. One single minute can last for an eternity when you are hurt, scared or worried, whereas one hour can pass in a second when joy or pleasure are involved. Whilst you’re living it the day feels interminable, but then the night inevitably comes and, soon, a brand new day dawns. Celebrating a birthday, you can’t help but look back, remember, and ask yourself: Where did time go? How did I get here so quickly?

Time doesn’t go anywhere when you’re in prison. It does not pass, it does not stay still, it does not leave an impression. Every minute bleeds into the next creating an endless and uninterrupted stream of consciousness. At the beginning of your sentence when you’re still able to feel anything other than complete and utter terror, maybe time can still make a difference; but after a while the pain, the fear, the cold, and the dark take hold and you find yourself living a perpetual night. 

At that point, time simply disappears. It gives up. 

And so do you.

*

Nothing ever changed in Azkaban, not the stench of Sirius’s cell, not the bone-chilling cold, not the everlasting wait for the Dementors to come have their fun. Certainly not the screams, his own or those of the other inmates, that constantly pierced the air and frazzled the mind. Sometimes there was movement of a different kind outside Sirius’s cell, when an inmate died for example – lucky bugger, finally free – and there was need to dispose of the body; but it was never enough to make a significant dent in Sirius’s eternal darkness and, eventually, he simply ignored it.

Of course, not even Sirius could remain oblivious to the deafening, booming noise that ripped through the air when an inexorable force tore apart the very walls of the prison, his own cell included. Startled, Sirius found himself looking out at the roaring sea from the gash where the outward wall of his cell used to be, and he blinked up at the sky he’d forgotten the sight of. After a while, he realised that many inmates were jumping out of their own, now destroyed, cells and he let instinct take over: He turned into Padfoot and dived into the sea.

The day Lord Voldemort freed his most loyal Death Eaters from Azkaban, he incidentally saved the only inmate who had been serving a life sentence while being completely innocent. 

Sirius Black was finally free from Azkaban, and time started ticking again.

*

A couple of months before Sirius’s fortuitous escape, Remus Lupin was finally able to gather the proof he needed to catch Peter Pettigrew. Entirely by chance, Remus had stumbled across a picture that depicted the Weasleys on their prize holiday in Egypt and, looking at it closely, he’d begun to suspect that the rat held by one of the Weasley boys might be Wormtail. As momentous as that revelation had been – not to mention enraging and heartbreaking – Remus knew he needed to investigate the matter closely before making any kind of accusation: If he’d indeed just found a way to make things right and help Sirius, who had been so wronged until then, Remus had to be absolutely certain. There was no room for mistake.

Almost as if fate had finally decided to help Remus out, Dumbledore had come to offer Remus a job as gatekeeper for a few months: He would serve as Hagrid’s replacement while the latter was on a mission to sway the Giants to their cause. Remus had been stationed at Hogwarts for a while – trying with all his might to stay out of Dolores Umbridge’s sight – when he was finally able to prove that Pettigrew was still alive, and that he was concealing himself as the rat Scabbers that belonged to Ron Weasley, Harry Potter’s best friend.

Unfortunately, when Dumbledore was forced to leave Hogwarts to escape capture by the Ministry, Remus was also compelled to flee the premises and it wasn’t until order had been restored – and news of Voldemort’s return had spread – that Remus was able to bring his proof to the newly reinstated Headmaster.

Together they captured Pettigrew, forced him to confess, and were thus granted permission to go to Azkaban and free Sirius Black – though the process of definitively clearing his name was still pending. 

They were too late. 

Sirius was nowhere to be found, his name somehow overlooked when the list of escapees was penned, and his breakout only then discovered. 

Remus miserably asked himself why his old friend hadn’t come to him, while at the same time unable to ignore the obvious answer:

“He can’t trust me anymore… I betrayed him… Failed him completely. Oh, Sirius…” 

The answer to Remus’s question, however, was quite different and if he’d known it at the time his already broken heart would have shattered. 

Sirius’s memories had been toyed with so much that a different reality had set in. From his Hogwarts days, he remembered a group of friends – Potter, Lupin, and Pettigrew – that called themselves ‘The Marauders’; Sirius also remembered, or so he thought, having been their chosen victim for years: The Marauders had bullied Sirius, tortured him, thrown hexes and jinxes at him, belittled him, and just generally made his life a living hell. And then, after Peter Pettigrew played a role in the death of James Potter, Remus Lupin helped him cover up his responsibilities by framing Sirius. 

In Sirius’s mind, The Marauders were responsible for the fifteen years of misery that he had to suffer in prison so, when Sirius ran away from Azkaban, he also ran as fast as he could away from Pettigrew and Lupin. He didn’t even want revenge, he just wanted to put as much distance as he could between himself and his tormentors. Aside from the Dementors, there was nothing that Sirius feared more than The Marauders; and there was also something about Lupin, an unspecified darkness that was somehow tied to the moon and that filled Sirius with dread. He didn’t know what it was, but he distinctly remembered smelling blood, hearing horrible screams, and feeling fear and dread unlike any other during a full moon. 

Sirius knew with certainty that it was all because of Remus Lupin.

*

The first few days after breaking out of jail Sirius lived as Padfoot and only turned back into his human form when he needed to steal fruit or bread, that he quickly ate before letting his canine counterpart take over once more. Not only it was easier for Sirius to slip by unnoticed as Padfoot, but the simpler emotions felt by the dog were also much easier to process for his flayed mind.

Of course, this arrangement couldn’t last. Sirius needed to find a different solution if he hoped to survive in the long run, a solution that, ideally, would allow him to retain his freedom and give him a chance to rest and heal. 

Luck was on Sirius’s side for once, and someone found him

Andrew Gentile, a seventy years old Italian _mago_, had icy blue eyes, a full head of hair that were as white as snow, and a wrinkled face that spoke of an eventful life. A scar above his left eyebrow was the obvious result of a curse that found its mark, yet it gifted Andrew with an almost pirate-like charm. He was lean and agile, and he definitely didn’t look his age.

Andrew, whose Italian father had married a British woman, was in London for business when he came across a sad-looking dog that seemed not to have seen a good meal in a month or two. His fur was spotty, he had dried blood on his paws, and the way his frightened eyes followed the people that happened to pass him by was both heartbreaking and worrying. Andrew’s own beloved dog, a golden retriever by the name of Leo, had died not too long before and his heart still had to recover from the loss of what had been, essentially, a family member. 

Andrew knew that he couldn’t leave this poor stray all alone, that he owed it to the memory of Leo to at least try and feed him, so he cautiously approached.The dog sharply raised his head to look at Andrew and seemed to shrink in, as if worried to be struck. 

“Hey, boy,” Andrew called out, as gently as he could. He crouched down but didn’t try to touch the dog, and just kept talking to him in a soothing voice. “What happened to you, uh? You don’t look so hot.”

The dog sniffed the air and kept looking at him warily but didn’t run away. Andrew took it as a good sign and slowly extended his hand.

“Not going to hurt you, I promise,” Andrew said, while the dog slowly stretched his neck until his nose touched the hand. 

Something in either Andrew’s scent or his demeanour convinced the dog of his trustworthiness enough for him to chance a small lick to the man’s hand, and Andrew smiled and caressed his head.

“_Bravo ragazzo_,” Andrew praised him in Italian, and the dog cocked his head at the different language. “What do you say? Would you like to come with me? I’m staying at a friend’s place while he’s away, and I’m sure we can find you something to eat there. Maybe even give you a bath.” 

After extending the invitation, he resolutely rose and took a few steps. When he could feel the dog following after him, Andrew simply kept walking towards his friend’s flat, smiling softly without turning around again.

He had just made a new friend.

*

Padfoot lived with Andrew for a couple of days, well fed, washed, and mostly healed thanks to a few simple spells. On the night of the second day, Sirius gave in to the overwhelming need to eat something with his own mouth and reappeared.

He made himself a simple ham and swiss sandwich, ate it quickly, then turned back into Padfoot. 

Only to find himself staring up into Andrew’s surprised eyes.

“_Santo Cielo!_” Andrew yelled, and Padfoot cowered. 

Ears flat on his head and tail between his legs, the dog started backing away desperate to escape.

“No, hey, wait! _Aspetta!_” Andrew shouted again before realising that his tone was frightening the dog. He took a deep breath to calm down then tried again. “Wait, please, I didn’t mean… I’m not going to hurt you. I promised you, remember?”

Padfoot stopped, eyeing Andrew warily.

“You’re an Animagus, aren’t you? Can you turn back so we can talk properly? I will not stop you if you want to leave, if you feel the need to, but I’d like to help you if you’ll allow me. Here, I’ll sit down, and you can decide what you want to do, okay?”

Andrew sat at the kitchen table and waited for Padfoot to find his resolve.

Despite the overwhelming need to flee, something in Sirius told him that he could trust this man, and he decided to take a chance. He shed his dog form and stood in front of the table, his head down and the filthy robes he was still wearing torn and in disarray.

“Hello,” Andrew smiled. “Thank you for trusting me.”

Sirius nodded.

“Will you tell me your name? Mine is Andrew, but I guess you know that already, don’t you?”

“Sirius,” Sirius croaked.

“_Ciao_, Sirius. I’m sorry to see that the healing spells I performed on your dog form didn’t fix all your problems,” Andrew said, gesturing towards Sirius’s ruined human teeth and his scraped fingers. “I can try to help now, if you want.”

“Why? Why would you help me? You don’t know me.” 

“I know one side of you well enough,” Andrew replied. “And judging by the state of you, and the fact that you felt you had to live as a dog and eat garbage, I’d say you’re running from something. Maybe I’m just a crazy old bat, but I think I can trust you. I’ve done my fair share of running in my time.”

“What did you run away from?”

“Ah, let’s see… My mother, may she burn in the fiery pit; my ex-wife, _la strega_; a few fathers when they discovered me in their daughters’ beds. Or their sons’, I’ve always been an equal opportunist…”

Sirius snorted at that, and Andrew grinned back.

“And then, of course,” Andrew continued, “Prison. Or better yet, my memories of that place.”

With a sharp intake of breath Sirius fixed a wide-eyed stare at Andrew, and the latter nodded.

“Thought so. You wearing those robes and all,” he said. “Tell me you’re not one of those guys running around with skulls on their arms and serving a crazy master. That’s all I ask.”

“Never,” Sirius hissed, and bared his arms to show that truth to Andrew. “I hate them.”

“Makes two of us, then, and it’s good to know. Now, I won’t ask you why you were inside, or what you were sentenced for; I won’t ask you to share anything you don’t want to. I’m still willing to help you, if you will let me, but I do want your honesty from now on. If you want to go, go. If you need a few Galleons, I’ll give you some for your travels. I only ask that you do not steal from me, and that you keep in mind that I _can_ defend myself if I need to,” Andrew said, firmly.

“I don’t want to hurt you. I’ve witnessed, and suffered, enough pain to last me for a lifetime or two. I will never purposefully add to it,” Sirius replied, quietly, after just a brief hesitation. “I would appreciate your help. Thank you.”

Andrew smiled, got up, and gestured for Sirius to take a seat. He worked silently on the healing spells for a while, stopping only to ask Sirius whether there was more that needed fixing and that wasn’t immediately visible, and then had him drink a healing potion to avoid the risk of infection that the hitherto untreated wounds might present.

“As I said,” Andrew finally said, “You can stay here to recuperate, and I will see that you are fed and keep healing. Of course, if you feel the need to start running again, you’re free to leave at any time.”

“I don’t understand. Why are you being like this? I could see how you would feel bad for Padfoot and wanted to help a stray, but me? You know nothing about me…”

“Padfoot? Is that your dog’s name?”

Sirius nodded. When a sudden memory hit him, he frowned and mumbled, “Pads… I… People, some… people called me Pads. I don’t know who they were, though… I can’t… Remember. Damn! This is so frustrating!”

Andrew placed a comforting hand on Sirius’s shoulder. “I’ve heard about the effects that prolonged contact with Dementors can have on people’s memory. Be patient, Sirius. I know that’s easier said than done but I’m sure that, in time, you will get it all back.”

“I don’t know if I want to…” Sirius whispered.

“What? I don’t…”

“You didn’t answer my question,” Sirius abruptly changed the subject. “Why help me?”

“You do know I could turn the cards around on you, right? Why did you trust me to heal you? You don’t have a wand, you couldn’t have defended yourself if I’d wanted to hurt you. And why are you trusting me not to give you up to the Aurors?”

“I…” Sirius tried, but he soon realised he didn’t have an answer. Why indeed?

Andrew nodded. “I have always been a fairly good judge of characters, and in this case I’d say Padfoot made your case for you. No one who has such a sweet disposition as a dog can actually be an evil person,” he explained.

Sirius smiled, softly. “I think Padfoot might have made your case, too. Someone who picks up a stray and treats him like royalty, or better yet like family, has to have good qualities. Also, you mentioned your bitch of a mother. I can definitely relate to that.”

Andrew laughed out loud. “That’d do it. Do you also have a bitch of an ex-wife, per chance?”

Sirius shook his head. “No wife, no. But I thought you said you were a good judge of characters. How could you marry that… what did you call her before? _Strega_ was it?”

“Yes. _Strega_ is the Italian for witch, but it can also be used as a derogatory term, an insult. My ex had magic and was evil so the term is quite appropriate on both counts, but I didn’t choose her. My dear mother arranged everything and she also selected the marriage contract, so I was forcibly tied to that woman for no less than ten years. That’s why I’m an expert at running away. When my mother died, I finally got rid of both of them in one sweep. Best month of my life, I tell you,” Andrew recounted.

Sirius’s answering chuckle was interrupted by a huge yawn. 

“Sorry, I…”

“No need to apologize, boy. It’s quite late. Did you decide if you’re staying or going?”

Sirius took a gamble: He couldn’t deny liking Andrew, and he was so tired of running aimlessly. He needed to stop, even if just for a few days.

“I’ll stay.”

*

The following week saw Sirius laying low in Andrew’s friend’s flat, and Padfoot spent most of the day sleeping and recuperating alone while Andrew conducted his business. Sirius had since learned that Andrew was the owner of a successful shop located in Rome that sold antiques and collectibles, and that he also had a side business involving the identification and purification of cursed antiquities. 

Sirius only turned back into his human form to dine with Andrew each night, and the two of them chatted and got to know one another. Andrew told Sirius more about the hellish time he’d had in his family home thanks to his mother, and Sirius countered with his own memories of Walburga’s and Orion’s tender attentions, because of course no Dementor would ever think of taking away those delightful times. 

Andrew also shared details about his own prison stint – he was seventeen and had been caught stealing a box of butterbeer with his friends; his mother refused to help him and Andrew was sentenced to eight months in prison – and he made Sirius laugh with tales of his wife and his love affairs. Andrew raged when Sirius spoke of the bullying he remembered suffering at the hands of The Marauders, and then cried and held Sirius tight when the latter finally spoke of his time in Azkaban and revealed he’d been innocent.

Returning Andrew’s embrace, Sirius felt something he could only remember feeling once before in his life, the time his Uncle Alphard had hugged him goodbye: Sirius felt secure, like one should when in the arms of a father, and didn’t want to let Andrew go.

For that reason when Andrew’s business came to an end and it was time for him to go back to Italy, Sirius didn’t hesitate.

“Will you come with me?” Andrew asked. “I’ve been meaning to hire someone to help with the shop, and I’m sure you’ll master the language in no time. Plus, and I hope you don’t mind me saying, I would hate to leave you here alone. Especially now that… Well… That I’ve come to think of you as a son…”

Tears welled up in Sirius’s eyes, and he smiled at Andrew. 

“Yes. Yes, I will come with you.”

*

Sirius Black left England that day, turned into Padfoot and carried through a Portkey by Andrew Gentile, with no intention of ever looking back. He would change his name, he would stop running and living in fear, and he would finally build a new life for himself.

Most of all, Sirius vowed, he would never, ever, lay eyes on Remus Lupin again.

***

Mago = Wizard  
Bravo ragazzo = Good boy  
Santo Cielo = Good Heavens  
Aspetta = Wait  
Ciao = Hello 


	2. Meet the Hunter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to keep up with the bi-weekly updates so I'll try to post a new chapter every Monday and Friday. Thank you for reading!

**Spring, 2001**

Patrick ‘Pads’ Hunter slowly made his way through Piazza di Spagna in Rome lazily eating a slice of pizza and eyeing the tourists, but he didn’t seem to take stock of the lustful looks that accompanied him on his walk. He took his lunch break on the Muggle side of the square that day, as he usually did when he didn’t feel like eating in the magical side and decided to visit one of his favourite Muggle _pizzeria_s .

Pads was in his forties; he had penetrating, intense grey eyes that seemed to measure people whenever he looked at them, and a head of short black curls with just a touch of silver that framed his thin but extremely handsome face. Women and men alike didn’t have any qualms in literally throwing themselves at Pads, but he needed to be in a particular kind of mood in order to take them up on their offers. He seemed to only have time for his work nowadays, and for the man he considered a father. Everything else came second, third, or didn’t even classify.

Checking his watch, Pads realised it was time for him to go back to the antiques shop he worked at and so, after wiping his hands on a napkin and throwing it away into a garbage can, he started to climb the staircase leading up to the church of Trinità dei Monti and named after it until he reached the step that, once tapped, would allow him to access a different part of the staircase that led to the Wizarding world.

The walk to the shop was a quick one and the chime on the door rang to signal Pads’s entrance when he opened it. 

“_Ciao_, Hunter,” Giovanni, a loyal customer, greeted, and Pads inclined his head in reply.

“Pads!” His boss called him from the depths of the shop, so Pads made his way to him.

Andrew Gentile smiled at him when Pads reached him. “Good lunch?” He asked, and Pads nodded. “_Perfetto_. Now, please, tell me you know when the shipment from Ireland was supposed to be here because I’m starting to lose my mind about it!”

“Yeah, sure, I have the paperwork right… here,” Pads replied moving a few rolls of parchment, trying and failing to find the right one. “Uhm… Why don’t you go see what Giovanni wants, Andy? He’s over by the cabinet with the brassware. I’ll find that delivery note and bring it to you later, okay?”

After Pads was finally able to find the paperwork he needed and tracked down the shipment, the rest of the workday went by without a glitch and soon it was time to close up shop. Pads and Andy both lived above it, but the upstairs floor was divided into two small but very functional apartments so each of them could have their privacy. Still, they spent most of their evenings together, sharing meals and talking about everything, cementing a bond that benefitted them both. In the five years they had lived and worked together, Andrew had become Pads’s family.

There were still times when Pads didn’t feel like he could brave the night alone and kipped on the sofa in Andrew’s apartment; while that wasn’t as regular an occurrence as it had been when he had first come to live with Andrew, the comfort of having the older man near was something Pads felt he still needed.

Pads was an Animagus, and his dog counterpart was the one sleeping in Andrew’s house whenever Pads needed it. In fact, the name Pads belonged more to the dog than to the human being, but the real name of the man that called himself Patrick Hunter remained a well-kept secret known only to Andrew Gentile.

*

When Sirius Black first broached the subject of his need for a name change, he didn’t find Andrew unprepared.

“I know. I’ve been thinking about that and I believe I have a suggestion,” Andrew said.

“Okay, let’s hear it.”

“Well, you said that people in the past shortened Padfoot to Pads, right?” Sirius nodded and Andrew continued, “I was thinking that it would be easier for you to respond to a name you already feel familiar with, so to that effect you could keep Pads as your first name. Telling people it’s short for Patrick, of course. What do you think?”

Sirius thought about it for a moment. “Yeah, I… It’s not a bad idea. I am worried that I’ll forget to turn around when someone calls my new name, and that might bring troubles in the long run. But Pads… Yeah, you’re right. That could work.”

“Good. And for a last name, I actually… Uhm… Okay, so, are you at all familiar with Greek Mythology?” Andrew asked.

“Greek… uh… Not something you learn at Hogwarts, no,” Sirius replied, smiling. “Why?”

“In the Greek mythology, and especially in Homer’s _Odyssey_, the Orion constellation was personified as an adventurous hunter, and well, you’re Sirius so… I was thinking you could call yourself Hunter too,” Andrew explained.

Andrew’s thoughtfulness brought tears to Sirius’s eyes and he readily accepted his new last name. 

Hunter. Sirius realised he loved it, in fact, and found it incredibly fitting.

That was the day Sirius Black was once again shut away in a dark closet, through no real fault of his own, and Pads Hunter came out into the light. 

*

While the name Sirius Black rested hidden in a different Country, in England the war was fought and won, and when all was said and done Remus Lupin and Albus Dumbledore presented their evidence to the new Minister of Magic and to the Wizengamot, and the man that had now found a new life and discarded his name was finally absolved.

All of Sirius’s possessions were reinstated, his record completely cleared, and a written apology, that remained unclaimed to this day and lay in a drawer in one of the Ministry offices, was issued. The _Daily Prophet_ published article after article about the injustice perpetrated against Sirius and about his disappearance and supposed death, but for reasons yet to explain not even one of these articles was picked up by the foreign press, and _Il Profeta_, the Italian newspaper for the Wizarding world, never published or referenced anything about it. 

Many witches and wizards believed Sirius’s tragic life to have met a horrible death in the sea when he jumped out of his cell, and though no body had been recovered there was little doubt in people’s minds about Sirius’s fate. Such belief added to the mystique surrounding the last of the Blacks: The gorgeous, tormented man who lost his best friends, his family, his good name, and his freedom despite being blameless. Many a witch swooned imagining themselves to have been present during the time of great injustice that Sirius suffered, so that they and they alone could have saved him. In fairness a few wizards, secretly or openly, also shared that same wish. 

As history and fiction often teach us: There’s no hero more romantic than a tragic one.

Other than being used to fuel amorous fantasies though, Sirius Black was more or less forgotten by the many while they went on rebuilding a world that had just come out of the most gruesome war it ever saw.

Few people still thought about Sirius or tried to look for him, but Remus Lupin was definitely the most vocal. He refused to believe the generally accepted explanation of Sirius’s death and tried with all his might to find him. Even while fighting the war, even while working covertly for the Order and negotiating with werewolves and other creatures, Remus never failed to make enquiries about Sirius. Did someone see him? Could someone know where he was or even just where he’d been at one time? Remus wouldn’t rest until he had his answers.

Someone else was almost as invested as Remus in finding Sirius, and that someone was Harry Potter, hero of the Wizarding world, slayer of the Dark Lord: The Chosen One that saved the world.

When Remus was able to prove Sirius’s innocence during Harry’s fifth year at Hogwarts, he made it his mission to talk to Harry about Sirius and about the role his father had wanted Sirius to have in Harry’s life. Harry now knew just how close James Potter and Sirius Black had been, and Remus made sure to detail how much Harry himself had cared for Sirius, his Godfather, when he was a little boy. It would be fair to say that baby Harry had worshipped the very air Sirius breathed, and so that was exactly the way Remus described the relationship to Harry.

Suffice to say that Harry Potter literally couldn’t wait to find Sirius, and to that effect he’d made sure to hire a private investigator to look for his Godfather. So far, the man hadn’t been able to find even a scrap of news – and secretly believed Mr. Potter was wasting his time and his money looking for a guy that was long dead – but Harry never wavered.

It stands to reason that, had Sirius known about it, he would have been most amused by the fact that, once again, he was being hunted. Yet this time, Sirius had chosen a new role for himself. He was, after all, the Hunter.

*

During the years Sirius spent in Rome with Andrew he never once thought about England and everything he’d left behind. There were times when the thought of The Marauders entered his mind and, if he had to be honest, Sirius couldn’t deny that some of the things he’d thought those guys had done to him were now becoming fuzzy in his head, and he was no longer certain of what he’d experienced at their hands. Still, Remus Lupin and his ‘darkness in the moonlight’ frightened Sirius so much that every time Lupin’s face appeared in his mind, Sirius immediately found ways to distract himself.

Many times Andrew tried to get Sirius to talk about his past but he wasn’t always successful.

“What good would it do to speak of it? It would be just another burden on your shoulders, Andy,” Sirius usually replied to Andrew’s enquiries.

“Ah, my boy, what’s another load?” Andrew joked, patting his own back, and making Sirius laugh.

Yet, sometimes it would work. Sometimes, usually late at night on Andrew’s sofa, Sirius would whisper about the timeless void that had been his cell in Azkaban; about the screams of the other inmates that were usually only a prelude to his own; about the pain and the cold and the dread. Sirius also spoke of a boy who wasn’t loved by his parents, and who was misteated and rejected all his life: A boy who ended up losing his beloved brother and a piece of his heart with him. Although, weirdly enough, it wasn’t Regulus’s face that Sirius saw when he spoke of his brother. It was glasses, a crazy head of hair, and an infectious laugh. 

Those nights Sirius lay down on the sofa, his head on Andrew’s legs, and let the old man caress his hair while he cried for the life he should have had and never did.

What Sirius never spoke of were his plans to one day go back to England. It wasn’t as if he never thought about it, but he was too afraid to even consider it. What if people recognised him? What if they weren’t fooled by his new identity and, still believing him a murderer, put him back in prison? Sirius would die before ever setting foot into Azkaban again.

Besides, would Sirius really want to return to a place that named the son of James Potter as its hero? Potter had been one of Sirius’s former tormentors, or so Sirius believed, and the man whose death Sirius had been framed for. Wouldn’t the kid jump at the opportunity to get revenge on the man he believed to have deprived him of his parents?

No. A world that contained Harry Potter and Remus Lupin was definitely not a world that would welcome Sirius Black.

Unbeknownst to Sirius, the choice to return to that world would soon be taken out of his hands.

*

A few days before he was supposed to go to London to evaluate and take inventory of the collection of artefacts he’d bought, auctioned off by the family of a recently deceased well known hoarder, Andrew fell and broke his hip.

The Healers were able to quickly fix the broken bones but Andrew’s age made it impossible for them to clear him for travel. The use of a Portkey, or even a simple apparition, could compromise his recovery and set it back to the start, and travelling by Muggle way would also be too stressful. There was absolutely no way for Andrew to go to London, and yet it was imperative to assess the worth of the collection he now owned and had to start selling. 

Sirius had to go in his stead, there was simply no other solution.

Sirius Black just had to go back to England.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Perfetto = Perfect
> 
> Also, if you want to see a couple of pictures and read something about Piazza di Spagna and the Trinità dei Monti staircase in Rome, here's a link: https://civitavecchia.portmobility.it/en/piazza-di-spagna


	3. A Fortuitous Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's quite a few Italian expressions in this chapter and, as always, you will find translation for them all in the notes at the end. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!

Andrew was incredibly apologetic about having to send Sirius back to the United Kingdom, and was ready to lose the money he’d spent on the collection if Sirius didn’t feel like going.

“You’re not losing your money, Andy,” Sirius repeated for the tenth time.

“I don’t care about money, _cazzo!_ I care about you, Hunter! I’m not going to be responsible for whatever can happen to you there. I couldn’t live with myself. I can’t… I don’t want to lose you. You’re the son I never had, and I…” Andrew trailed off, unable to continue.

“I know,” Sirius told him, taking one of the old man’s hands in his. “You’re the father I never had, too. _Papà_…” 

The use of the Italian word for father brought tears to Andrew’s eyes. 

“That’s it, you’re not going,” he said, shakily.

“Yes, I am. You know we can’t afford to lose not just the money we spent on the collection, but the ones we might make from it. We simply can’t, Andy! Listen, _papà_, I’ll have the two-way mirror with me so we can stay in touch and I’m better now. I can fight if I need to. My new wand won’t let me down.” 

Andrew sighed, “I see there’s no way to change your mind, but Pads… Sirius,” he said, using his real name to emphasize the gravity of the moment, “You don’t fight. New wand or not, if there’s any sort of trouble you disapparate immediately! I’m having Claudio monitor the Portkeys, and we will get you an available one as soon as you need it, okay? Promise me! _Promettimelo!_”

Sirius promised and, luckily, there was no need to make good of his promise since no one took any notice of Patrick Hunter in the beginning. He spent the first week he was in London buried neck deep in books, vases, carpets, chests filled to the brim with jewellery, toys, utensils made of gold and silver, and generally any sort of tool ever known to man, Muggle and Wizard alike. Once he finished inventorying a room, Sirius rounded up everything that would be profitable to sell, boxed it, and sent it to Rome for Andrew to unpack and display. The rest would be either thrown away or given to charity.

He wouldn’t have had the time to venture outside even if he’d wanted to, and Sirius really, really didn’t.

*

One day, after spending most of the morning working on the contents of a trunk that looked like it hadn’t been opened in years, Sirius’s throat was on fire. All the dust he’d inhaled, not to mention the strong smell of the solution he was using to clean the tools and the objects inside, was making it hard to breathe and Sirius’s eyes were watering, too. 

He got up, went to the sink to wash his face and drink a glass of water, then decided to take a vial of Antihistamine Potion before getting to work again. He knew he wouldn’t be able to throw himself back into that trunk without some help from the potion.

Unfortunately, when Sirius got to the box of potions he realised that he’d taken the last of the Antihistamines already, and he didn’t have enough ingredients – or time – to brew a new batch for himself.

Sighing, he went to pick up the two-way mirror and called Andrew.

“What is it, Pads? You okay?” Andrew asked, as soon as he appeared in the mirror.

“No, I… Bloody hell, I’m out of potions. I’m going to have to make a run to the Apothecary in Diagon Alley to buy some or I won’t be able to work in this dusty old house anymore. It’s just…” Sirius trailed off.

“I know,” Andrew said, sympathetically. “I understand, my boy. But you’re going to be fine, I’m sure of it. I can see you let your beard grow a bit, it’s a good disguise; and you can wear your hat while you’re out. It will be quick and no one will recognise you.”

Sirius closed his eyes, “I’m scared, _papà_,” he whispered.

“I know _figlio mio_. I am, too. I’ll expect you to contact me the second you’re back from the Apothecary, okay? I will be waiting for you. I know you will be fine, but if there’s even a hint of trouble you disapparate immediately, you hear? _Prometti_.”

“_Prometto_,” Sirius said, and chanced a small smile.

Smiling back reassuringly, Andrew let him go.

*

Nymphadora Tonks left her son Teddy with his friend Jason and the kid’s mother in Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlour in Diagon Alley, and went to the Apothecary to buy some more Healing Potion for her husband. Remus Lupin was still recuperating from a rough full moon that had left him bedridden for a week afterwards; he was now starting to move around better but he was still weak and in pain. Tonks couldn’t help but worry about Remus, and she was terrified that his body might not withstand many more Fulls.

The Wolfsbane helped and it made the wolf sleep for most of the night, but there was still a part of it when the beast was awake and could cause damage. Healer after Healer had told Remus that his own emotional state influenced the wolf, and Tonks knew that her husband’s overwhelming guilt and worry for Sirius’s fate was destroying him and enraging the wolf. There was no telling how long it would be before Remus’s body simply gave up.

A man was leaving the Apothecary when Tonks entered it and, even if the hat he was wearing covered his forehead and his beard masked his face, Tonks couldn’t help but stop and stare at him. There was something so familiar about that man but Tonks couldn’t put her finger on it.

Suddenly, a woman entered the shop with her daughter and the overexcited toddler collided with Tonks and pushed her towards the man, who instinctively held out a hand to steady her.

“Thank you,” Tonks smiled, looking up at the man.

The grey eyes she encountered stopped her dead in her tracks.

“Sirius?” Tonks whispered, and the man stiffened and paled.

“_Mi spiace_,” he replied, in Italian. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Excuse me.”

Watching the man beat a hasty retreat, Tonks knew she couldn’t let the chance to prove herself right pass her by. Could this man truly be her lost cousin? Was Sirius still alive? If that was the case, she needed to prevent him from disappearing again.

“Wait!” Tonks yelled, running after the man and finally able to corner him in the alley behind the Apothecary. “Wait, please!”

“_Signora_, I don’t know you and I have business to conduct. Please, let me go.”

That voice. Tonks knew that voice and it didn’t matter if he kept speaking in a different language: This man really was Sirius.

“Sirius, please, wait. I just want to talk with you. Please, I swear I won’t do anything else… I won’t hurt you. I could never!” Tonks pleaded.

“My name is Patrick Hunter, madam, and I have no idea what you’re talking about. Once more, I must ask to be released.”

Tonks didn’t know what to think. Did Sirius lose his memory? Didn’t he know who he was? Was he really convinced his name was Hunter now, that he was Italian? But then again, why did he run away as soon as Tonks called him Sirius? Why did he seem scared even now? No, something wasn’t adding up. Tonks’s training as an Auror sharpened her instincts, and the war taught her to recognise a liar when she saw one. 

This man _was_ Sirius but for some reason he didn’t want to acknowledge it.

*

Sirius was petrified. Of all the people he could meet in Diagon Alley, why did he have to run into Tonks? He remembered how Andromeda had been the only member of his family he’d trusted, aside from Alphard, and he remembered Tonks well, too. She was a good person, and Sirius didn’t have any reason not to trust her. Still, he didn’t want her to know about him because, even if she didn’t turn him in to the Aurors, she would put herself in danger by aiding and abetting a fugitive. 

“I need to go now. Good day, madam,” Sirius tried again, but Tonks didn’t let go of his arm.

“Listen to me, Sirius. Stop. You’re not in any danger, I swear. I don’t know why you say your name is Hunter now but it’s not! You’re Sirius Black and you’re my cousin! You’ve been missing for so long, and we’ve looked for you.”

They looked for him? To try and capture him, no doubt. Sirius needed to go immediately.

“Let. Me. Go,” he glared.

“Please! Listen! I know you’re innocent, we all do now. I’m so sorry, Sirius…”

Sirius couldn’t help it: His façade dropped and he stood there gaping at Tonks. They knew he was innocent? How? Could it be possible or was this just a trick?

Before he could decide how he wanted to reply, a boy of roughly four years of age ran towards Tonks.

“Mummy! Can we go now?” He asked, hugging Tonks’s leg.

“Teddy, where are Jason and his mum? You didn’t run away from them, did you?”

“No, they there,” Teddy said, pointing to the entrance of the alley.

Tonks turned, thanked and waved goodbye to her friend and the child, and they left. 

“Who he?” Teddy asked then, pointing to Sirius who was still frozen in shock.

“Oh, uhm…” Tonks stalled, and her hair turned orange. 

Sirius had to force down the laugh that threatened to escape: Tonks’s hair always assumed that particular colouring when she was about to lie. “This is, uh… Hunter. Mummy’s friend. Say hello?”

“‘Lo,” Teddy dutifully said, and Sirius nodded.

“Hi, uhm, Teddy, is it?” Sirius said. Unbelievable, his little cousin had a child!

“Yes. I’m Teddy Lupin. Nice to meet you,” the boy recited what was obviously a greeting he’d been taught to give.

Sirius’s blood froze in his veins. “Lu… Lupin?”

Unaware of the turmoil in Sirius’s mind, Tonks smiled as if she’d just found the solution to all her problems. 

“Yes! Remus Lupin is my husband, Teddy’s father. So you see now why you can definitely trust me, right? I mean, you’re my… uhm… friend,” Tonks said out loud, while stopping to mouth the word ‘cousin’ so that Teddy wouldn’t catch it. “We’re family. And even more now that I’m married to Remus. Right?”

Sirius didn’t listen to a single word Tonks said. His mind was still stuck on a little detail: His baby cousin had married Lupin. Sirius always expected his family to try and find new ways to hurt him, but for one of them to marry Sirius’s tormentor? The man that scared Sirius the most and kept him awake during the nights of the full moon? 

Furthermore, something else shocked Sirius to the core and prevented him from paying attention to Tonks’s words: The news of her marriage to Lupin filled him with rage, yes, and with betrayal; but it also caused him pain, a pain that had nothing to do with fear or dread, but that was akin to, Sirius hesitated to even think it but… It was like his heart had been broken. Why? What did that mean?

“I need to go,” Sirius said with finality. He wrenched his arm away from Tonks’s grip, took a couple of steps back, and disapparated.

The last thing he heard was his cousin’s desperate plea for him to wait.

*

The second he apparated back in the house where the collection he was evaluating was, Sirius ran towards the mirror calling for Andrew.

“Hunter!” Andrew immediately appeared. “_Merlino_, what happened?”

Sirius took a few calming breaths staring at the face of the man who was his only lifeline in the world, and tried to get his heartbeat to slow down.

“Talk to me, Pads, please. You’re scaring me!”

“Sorry, I… Sorry, Andy. I met someone…”

“_Cosa?_ Did they recognise you?” Andrew asked, frightened.

Sirius nodded. “Yes, she’s my cousin. She cornered me in an alley, prevented me from leaving, and said…” 

Shaking his head, Sirius tried to remember everything Tonks had said so that he could relate it to Andrew. Hopefully he would be able to make sense of it all because Sirius really couldn’t. 

“Her name is Nymphadora Tonks, but she goes by Tonks; she’s Andromeda’s daughter, remember her? I told you that I liked her, and that she was the only one in my family who was like me. An outcast,” Sirius started.

Understanding that he needed to stay as calm as possible to help out Sirius, Andrew took a deep breath and asked, “So this Tonks is a lovely girl too, right? Like her mother?”

"I think… I think so. I don’t know. She was always sweet, and funny, and smart. I thought… But Andy, she’s married to Remus Lupin now! They have a son!” Sirius revealed, ignoring the sharp pain that twisted his heart when he said that.

“_Merda!_” Andrew swore. Remus Lupin and the rest of The Marauders were sore subjects for Sirius and, though Andrew had long since suspected that the memories of the atrocities Sirius thought to have suffered at the hands of those boys might have been planted, or at least grossly exaggerated, there was no denying that they had been the cause of Sirius’s conviction. “Was Lupin there, too?”

Sirius blanched, “No… Thank Merlin, he wasn’t. Tonks tried to get me to stay and listen to her and she… she said…” Sirius frowned, trying to recall what his cousin revealed before Teddy arrived.

“Said what, Pads? What did she say?”

“She said she knows I’m innocent, that _ they_ all do… But can this be true? I can’t help but think it’s a trick to get me to relax and reveal myself so she can give me to the Ministry. I mean, she’s married to Lupin! She knows I’m innocent and yet she married _him_?”

While talking, Sirius picked up the mirror and started walking around the house aimlessly.

“It does sound fishy,” Andrew agreed. “Is there any way you can prove her words? If she says everyone knows you’re innocent, there must be at least some article in an old newspaper about that, don’t you think? Listen, didn’t you tell me a couple of days ago that you’d found a stack of old _Daily Prophet_s numbers in one of the downstairs rooms?”

Andrew’s words halted Sirius’s restless pacing, and he stared into the mirror. Of course! There was a simple way to know if Tonks was telling the truth and Sirius had the means to do just that at the tip of his fingers!

“Take an Antihistamine vial first!” Andrew urged, father-like, and Sirius smiled for the first time since his run in Diagon Alley. 

“_Sì, papà_,” he replied, and Andrew grinned back.

Keeping the connection open in the mirror, Sirius quickly gulped down one of the vials he’d just bought then went to the room where the papers were. Luckily, they seemed to have been piled in order and it wasn’t hard for Sirius to find what he was looking for.

What he found, and read out loud to Andrew, made him tear up.

**"Sirius Black wrongly accused of murder! Innocent man thrown in Azkaban! What does this say about our justice system?"**

**"Black pardoned, his estate reinstated. Too little, too late?"**

**"Sirius Black still missing. Ministry officials refuse to comment."**

**"Is Black dead? Read more on page 6!"**

“Pads… Sirius,” Andrew called from the mirror. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, I… She was telling the truth, then, wasn’t she? Tonks?”

“Looks like it, and it’s wonderful, isn’t it? The world now knows that you were always innocent and have been wrongly convicted!” Andrew exclaimed.

Sirius smiled shakily at the mirror, then opened the first newspaper to read the article inside. He wanted to know if he could find more information about how exactly his innocence was proven.

Reading bits of it out loud for Andrew, Sirius finally came to the part he was looking for. 

“Says here it was Dumbledore who pleaded my case, even before the war ended. They wrote that Dumbledore and _a friend of Black’s_ found out the truth about Pettigrew, captured him, and argued for my release. But I have no idea who this friend might be?” Sirius mused.

“Maybe there’s something in the other articles? It’s possible they named this person there,” Andrew suggested, and Sirius started skimming every article that reported news of his fate. Nowhere he was able to find reference to his ‘friend.’

“Nevermind that now, Pads,” Andrew told him after a while. “There will be time to investigate the matter further, and thank this person. What you need to do now is take a deep breath and take this news in: You’re innocent, Sirius, and the whole world knows it now. You don’t have to hide, you don’t have to run, you don’t have to be afraid anymore. You’re finally truly free, my boy.”

Taking a tremulous breath, Sirius abandoned the newspapers, held the mirror tightly in his hands, and cried in relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cazzo = Literally means cock, but it's used like the English use ‘fuck’  
Papà = Dad  
Promettimelo = Promise me  
Figlio mio = My son  
Prometti = You promise  
Prometto = I promise  
Mi spiace = I’m sorry  
Signora = Madam  
Merlino = Merlin  
Cosa? = What?  
Merda = Shit  
Sì papà = Yes dad


	4. The Hunter and the Werewolf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a head's up: I'm having major issues with the internet connection and I'm not sure I'll be able to keep up with my posting schedule. We'll see.
> 
> Thank you for reading!

When his wife came home that afternoon and told Remus she was certain she’d seen Sirius, Remus’s already frail emotional and physical state prevented him from controlling himself, and he cried. Glad to have left Teddy at her mum’s before coming home, Tonks supported Remus, helped him lie down, and comforted him while he sobbed.

“I’m sorry,” Remus said, when he was finally able to calm down.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. You’re still recuperating and you’ve been looking for Sirius for years now, your reaction is perfectly normal,” Tonks replied, smiling.

“Can you… Please, will you tell me more? Where did you see him? How did he look? Is he okay? And where is he? Can I see him?” Remus prodded, getting more and more agitated with each question.

Tonks did her best to relay her encounter and conversation with Sirius to her husband, despite knowing that nothing she could say would reassure Remus. 

“Patrick Hunter, you said? And he spoke Italian?” Tonks nodded, and Remus continued, “That doesn’t make any sense. Why would he say that’s his name? Insist upon it, even? Do you think he truly doesn’t remember who he is?”

“I thought about it, Remus, but I really don’t believe that’s the case. Not only he paled as soon as I called him Sirius, but he clearly recognised the name Lupin. When Teddy introduced himself like mum taught him to do, with his full name and all, Sirius definitely knew he was your son,” Tonks revealed.

“Then he must have changed his name in order to escape capture. But for him to still be using it to this day… Merlin, Dora, do you think he doesn’t know he’s been pardoned? The we’ve cleared his name?” Remus asked, horrified.

Tonks nodded, “I think it’s the only possible explanation. That’s definitely why he disapparated as soon as he was able to, despite the fact that I swore to him that I wasn’t there to hurt him. I even told him we knew about the injustice he suffered but I don’t think he heard me… I don’t know where he went, Remus. I don’t know where he is now. I’m sorry…”

Refusing to accept his wife’s help this time, Remus got up and walked to the window placing his hands on the frame as soon as he reached it. Head down and shoulders heavy, Remus whispered, “I’ll find you, Pads. I promise you. And I will bring you home…”

*

Sirius spent the days that followed his chance encounter with Tonks in a sort of daze. Of course, he didn’t neglect his work and his duties towards Andrew and the shop, but his work definitely suffered from his lack of attention, and he wasn’t able to spend more than a few hours cataloguing, cleaning, and boxing stuff before he took a break and lost himself in his own head.

What Andrew told him was true, Sirius was a free man now. Only, he didn’t _feel_ free and he didn’t feel comfortable abandoning his new name, either; he still felt the need to introduce himself to everyone – be it a delivery boy or an emissary of the family of the man whose collection Sirius was working on – as Patrick Hunter, because it made him feel safe. Sirius also didn’t feel like leaving the house again, even if he could now: If he wanted to, he could go to Diagon Alley and shout his name from the rooftop of Ollivander’s shop, and nothing would happen to him… Yet, the most he’d been able to do was open a window and lean out to breathe in the fresh air.

Andrew was trying to convince Sirius to contact Albus Dumbledore and get the whole story out of him, but Sirius kept putting it off. He knew that Andrew was right, and he also wanted to know more about what happened, but Sirius remembered Dumbledore presiding his trial at the Wizengamot and he couldn’t shake the feeling that the old man wasn’t on his side. It was a stupid fear – unfounded, too, since Dumbledore brought forth Pettigrew’s capture, and was also the one to clear Sirius’s name – but fear is often irrational, and no amount of reasoning can make it go away.

As fate would have it, one day Sirius found a book in the collection. It was a Muggle book written by J.R.R. Tolkien called _The Lord of the Rings_, and it was a rare first edition. Sirius knew about a bookstore in London that dealt with these sort of editorial antiquities, and he was sure that the book he had in his hands was worth quite a lot of Muggle money. He needed to have it evaluated, maybe sell it, too, and of course the Muggle shop was situated one street away from Diagon Alley.

*

Exiting the bookstore after selling the book, Sirius impulsively decided to take a stroll through Diagon Alley. He didn’t need to make himself conspicuous, he didn’t even need to visit any of the shops – though purchasing a few more Antihistaminic vials might be a good idea – and most of all, he didn’t have to acknowledge anyone who might recognise him. Sirius could just walk through the Alley and get rid of some of his fears.

Resolutely and with his head held high Sirius, who had finally trimmed his beard and impulsively left the hat back at the house, entered Diagon Alley. He walked for a while, stopped by the Apothecary to buy some potions, then made his way to a joke shop he’d seen already the first time he’d visited.

It was a large, multi-colored shop, filled to the brim with excited kids, and it was called _Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes_. The name Weasley sounded familiar to Sirius for some reason, but he truly couldn’t place it. Nonetheless, he stood there looking at the shop, mulling over the thought of venturing inside.

A man stood there, not exactly in front of the doors but a little to the side, and he seemed to be looking intently up and down the street as if searching for something. Sirius stared at him for a while, unable to look away, and when the man turned and he could see his face a small whimper left his mouth.

That was Remus Lupin, and he was looking right at Sirius.

Remus was indeed standing outside Fred’s and George’s shop that same day, trying his best not to be trampled by the hordes of giggling teens that couldn’t wait to purchase the boys’ latest creation. Ever since Dora told him about her meeting with Sirius, Remus had taken to walk back and forth through Diagon Alley every day in the hopes that Sirius might come back. The Apothecary was, of course, Remus’s best bet, but he didn’t dismiss any other shop and patrolled the entire street.

When a movement caught his eye, Remus turned and his heart skipped a bit when his eyes met Sirius’s for the first time in twenty years. For a moment, Remus couldn’t breathe: His old friend looked as handsome as Remus always remembered him being, and though his hair was short and a he had a beard, Remus knew it was him. He would have recognised Sirius anywhere. 

“Sirius…” Remus mouthed, and saw the way Sirius’s body hardened on the other side of the street. Worried he might lose him if Sirius decided to disapparate right there and then, Remus held his hands up, unthreatening, and quickly approached him.

“Godric’s tits, Sirius,” Remus said as soon as he was in front of him. “It’s really you… I’ve missed… I’ve looked… Please, you have to know how hard I’ve looked for you. How much I tried to make things right. I’m so, so sorry… I…”

While he talked, Remus slowly lowered his hands and made to touch Sirius. 

“That is not my name,” Sirius said, his voice as cold as ice. “I am Hunter. My name is Patrick Hunter, and if you even so much as lay a finger on me, I guarantee you will regret it.”

Shocked to the core, Remus mumbled, “I don’t… I… It’s me, Sirius. Hun… Hunter… It’s Remus… Don’t you remember me?”

Impulsively deciding to stop pretending not to be the man Remus Lupin knew he was, Sirius growled, “I remember. You made it impossible for me to forget you. I hate you.”

Remus faltered and took a step back, as if Sirius’s words had hit him like a physical blow, but Sirius wasn’t finished. Though Remus was sure he could see fear shining brightly in Sirius’s eyes – and that almost hurt more than the idea that Sirius might hate him – Sirius seemed to have no intention of backing down.

“You made my life a living hell, Lupin. You, and your friends, are responsible for every horrible thing that’s ever happened to me, and I don’t know what game do you think you’re playing now, acting all happy to see me, saying you looked for me, but I’m not buying it. You can keep selling this act to my cousin and the rest of the world, but I _know_ you. You are _dark_,” Sirius spat, venomously.

“Sirius, please,” Remus tried to speak around the lump of pain lodged in his throat. “I don’t know what’s wrong here, maybe the Dementors did something to your memory or… I don’t know. But if you just let me talk to you, explain, maybe… maybe we…”

“Are you really denying it? Blaming it on the bloody Dementors? Do you deny that you, and The Marauders, hurt me like not even my mother ever could manage?”

“The Marauders?” Remus gaped. “Sirius! You are one of The Marauders! _We_ are The Marauders…”

“Are you mad?” Sirius yelled, and yet even as he said it the flash of a memory crossed his mind and all he could see was a roll of parchment (a map?) and written on the front of it, a list of names: Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. Was that… What was that?

“Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs…” Sirius whispered, and looked sharply back at Remus.

“That’s right! Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs: The Marauders. I’m Moony, and you’re Padfoot. Now, I will not say we didn’t do our fair share of stupid things, and we could be cruel at times, but we were kids! And we never, ever, hurt you, Sirius. You were one of us. You and James…”

“James Potter?” Sirius asked, interrupting.

“Yes. Prongs, he was. The two of you were as close as brothers, and…”

“And you believed I’d been responsible for his death. More than that! You covered up what Pettigrew did, and framed me,” Sirius glared.

“No! Merlin, of course not! I did believe… shite, I’m so sorry, Sirius. After your conviction, I did believe you were the spy, that you were guilty. I will never be able to forgive myself for that, until the day I die. But I never helped Peter! I never framed you! I wasn’t even in England when everything happened!” Remus pleaded, passionately.

Sirius felt like his head was on fire and he couldn’t think clearly. The things Lupin was saying made a strange sort of sense, but they were in such stark contrast with everything Sirius remembered, or thought he did, that he was no longer able to recognise which way was up.

“I need to go,” Sirius said.

“Wait! Please,” Remus yelled. “I understand if you need some time but can you just… Can you tell me where you’re staying? How can I reach you? I just found you, and I can’t lose you again. There’s so much we need to talk about, and you need to meet Harry! He’s so longing to see you, too…”

“Harry Potter? He wants to meet me? Why?” 

“Of course, he does! You’re his Godfather!” Remus exclaimed, and it was the wrong thing to say.

Sirius winced, squeezed his eyes shut, and swiftly disapparated.

“No! Sirius!” 

*

It took two hours for Andrew to calm Sirius down and convince him to take something for his splitting headache. The state Sirius was in worried Andrew immensely, and the old man had half a mind to say fuck you to the Healers and get a Portkey to London immediately. Only the thought that he might damage his hip again, and saddle Sirius with having to take care of him on top of everything else that was going on, stopped Andrew.

“I don’t know what to believe, _papà_, Sirius whispered. “I don’t know anything anymore. The Marauders… They’re not what I thought they were, and so maybe neither is Lupin. Yet, I do still feel there’s something dark in him and I’m sure he betrayed me somehow. I don’t know what to do…”

“Pads, _figlio mio_, the only thing you need to do now is rest. Sleep on this, take a Dreamless Draught, too, and confront the issue with a clear head. Keep the mirror close, set it up on the table next to the cot you’ve been using, and I will watch over you as you sleep. Okay?”

Letting Andrew comfort him as he’d done so many times before, Sirius did as he was told, and soon he was asleep.

During his vigil, Andrew couldn’t help but repeat over and over in his head everything that Sirius had shared. Of course there was no way to prove it, but Andrew suspected that Lupin might be the ‘friend’ that helped Albus Dumbledore clear Sirius’s name. The darkness that Sirius perceived in Lupin, the one he said was tied to the moon, could quite simply be explained: Remus Lupin was, Andrew was almost certain, a werewolf. The Dementors had used Sirius’s knowledge of Lupin’s nature to twist the image of the man in Sirius’s head and make him afraid of someone that, Andrew now believed, had held a very important role in Sirius’s life. 

There was still the matter of Sirius’s conviction and Remus’s part in it but, if Andrew was right and Remus had been the one to help uncover the truth, something had to have happened: Maybe Lupin had a change of heart, or maybe he had been taken in by Pettigrew, too. If Sirius had been so obviously wrong about The Marauders and everything they’d represented in his life, wasn’t it possible that he’d also been wrong about Lupin?

Alone in his apartment above the shop, Andrew settled on his bed keeping the mirror in his lap so that he could keep watching his son, but there was a new certainty in his mind: Sirius needed to contact Albus Dumbledore and get his story straight. Andrew had indulged him until now, not wanting to push Sirius too hard, but that time had passed.

One way or the other, the truth needed to come out.

*

As soon as Remus got home from Diagon Alley, he sent out a Patronus to Dumbledore. He’d hesitated involving his old Headmaster before because, truth be told, Remus wanted to meet with Sirius alone, talk to him, and convince him that it was safe to come home. He’d even kept the news of Sirius’s return from Harry for that same reason, and also because he didn’t want to get the boy’s hopes up only to be crushed again. 

As it turned out, Remus had been right. He couldn’t imagine how Sirius would have reacted to being confronted by Remus and Harry, not to mention Dumbledore, at once. It was possible he wouldn’t even have stopped long enough for Remus to speak to him, and for him to realise how wrong things were with Sirius’s memory.

For him to believe that The Marauders had been his tormentors? That Remus had framed him, hurt him, and was someone to be scared of? It broke Remus’s heart, but it also reassured him a bit because, if this was all due to the Dementors’ effect on Sirius’s mind, then it might be still possible to make amends, clear everything up, and finally bring Sirius back. Back to Remus.

It already worked in Diagon Alley, Remus thought, when suddenly Sirius remembered their nicknames and believed Remus when he’d told him that The Marauders were not what Sirius thought they were. It would surely work on his other memories in time, too, if Remus was just given half a chance to try and fix them.

A knock on his door startled Remus out of his thoughts, and he was surprised to see that Dumbledore decided to acknowledge his message so quickly and apparated at his cottage.

“Good evening, Headmaster,” Remus greeted, inviting Dumbledore in. “Thank you for responding so promptly.”

“It was no bother, Remus. Your Patronus relay the urgency of your tone, and I wasn’t really doing anything at this time. What’s the matter?”

Remus gestured for Dumbledore to sit at the kitchen table and, while he prepared and served the tea, he told his old Professor everything about Sirius.

“Patrick Hunter, you say he’s calling himself now?” Dumbledore asked after Remus finished his tale.

“Yes, he… He was most insistent with Dora about that being his name, but then when he talked to me earlier he dropped it almost immediately and didn’t correct me again when I kept calling him Sirius.”

“Hmmm, I suppose he might have been too scared when he first encountered your wife, perhaps he wasn’t yet aware of his name being cleared and his innocence proven. If he knows about all that now, it stands to reason that he wouldn’t feel the need to hide anymore, even if he still feels more at ease in Patrick Hunter’s shoes,” Dumbledore mused.

Remus nodded, “He ran away before I could get him to tell me how to reach him… I can’t let him disappear again, sir. I can’t lose him…”

“Remus, my boy, I know you tried time and again to send out Patronuses to Sirius Black and they never even left your sight. But did you try to send one to Patrick Hunter, yet? Or to owl him?”

Remus’s mouth shot open, and he looked at Dumbledore in shock. Could it really be that easy?

“Ah, yes, the simpler solution always seems to be just a little out of reach, doesn’t it?” Dumbledore smiled. “If you don’t mind, however, I would like to be the one to contact Sirius. Patrick Hunter, that is. I will invite him to come to Hogwarts to see me and I will do my best to explain the situation. You’re more than welcome to come, too, Remus; and might I also suggest contacting Harry? It would be advisable not to ambush Sirius, yet I suspect that seeing Harry might jostle something inside Sirius and make our job easier.”

Remus readily agreed and Dumbledore left, promising he would let him know as soon as Sirius replied. Sighing, Remus closed the door behind the old wizard and went by the floo to call on Harry and appraise him of the situation.

They were going to win Sirius back. Remus wouldn’t accept any other outcome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Papà = Dad  
Figlio mio = My son


	5. Return to Hogwarts

Sirius apparated in Hogsmeade and something inside him instantly relaxed. In a way it felt like coming home, though Sirius wasn’t really able to bring into focus a single pleasant memory about this place. A few of the shops sent a pleasurable twinge through his body: Zonko’s made him smile, for example, while the sight of Three Broomsticks had him lick his lips and dream of butterbeer. The Shrieking Shack, on the other hand, inspired in Sirius a plethora of feelings that left him confused and trembling.

Shaking his head, Sirius started walking towards Hogwarts where Albus Dumbledore waited for him. Upon receiving the owl Dumbledore had sent him, addressed to Patrick Hunter and promptly delivered, Sirius made the mistake of contacting Andrew before even reading the message, and things went immediately downhill. The man he thought of as a father had been adamant: Sirius was to read the message, reply, and go see Dumbledore. No manner of pleading helped his cause, and now Sirius found himself at the entrance of his old school, feeling like a nervous first year student.

On his journey to Dumbledore’s office, Sirius caught the eye of many pupils and some professor, but no one approached him and no one talked to him. Dumbledore had quite clearly forbidden anyone from talking to Sirius and run the risk of spooking him before he even reached his office; and no one disobeyed Albus Dumbledore.

A tiny piece of parchment floated right in front of the gargoyle that guarded the entrance to Dumbledore’s office, and Sirius called it to him with his wand.  


_The password is Jelly Slug_, it read, and Sirius recited it out loud to be granted passage before destroying the piece of paper it was written on.

The door to the office at the top of the stairs was closed, and Sirius took a deep breath before knocking.

“Come in,” Dumbledore invited from inside.

Sirius pushed the door open and entered. “Sir,” he greeted as soon as he caught sight of Dumbledore.

“Hello, Sirius. Or would you prefer I call you Patrick? Hunter, maybe?” 

“I would greatly prefer Hunter, sir, but isn’t it useless to pretend I don’t know that’s not my real name? You can call me however you want.”

“Very well, Sirius. Please, come in and take a seat.”

Once seated, and feeling like he was about to be scolded for a well-executed prank, Sirius waited for Dumbledore to speak.

“If you don’t mind, I asked someone else to join us today and they should be here any minute now. I will not allow them to stay if you’re not comfortable with it, Sirius, I promise; nonetheless I ask that you please at least meet them and maybe let them speak for a moment. Is it acceptable?”

Sirius swallowed down the urge to shout, “oh, hell, no!” and run back to where he’d come from. He promised Andrew that he would do his best to get the whole story from Dumbledore, and maybe even allow him to right a few memories that, Sirius could accept it now, had been obviously distorted. In light of that he simply nodded in reply, but his unease must have bled through his expression and his posture because Dumbledore smiled gently at him.

“No harm will come to you, Sirius, I can promise that. You have suffered much wrong and, for as much as it is in my power, I will henceforth ensure that no one adds to it,” Dumbledore vowed.

A knock on the door prevented Sirius’s reply, and Dumbledore called in the people he’d invited to the meeting. Sirius refused to turn and look at them.

“Sorry we’re late, Professor,” a young voice that Sirius never heard before said. “Work was a bit challenging today.”

“Not a problem, Harry, my boy,” Dumbledore replied, voice filled with affection; then greeted the person who’d come inside after Potter. “Good afternoon, Remus.”

“Hello, sir,” Remus replied, a bit breathlessly, and Sirius stiffened. 

Great, both Lupin _and_ Potter. Could this day get any worse?

“Sirius,” Dumbledore addressed him. “Would you please allow me to introduce you to someone? I know you remember Remus, though maybe not perfectly well? But I don’t believe you’ve met Harry, yet. Not in some time, at least.”

Sirius forced his limbs to answer Dumbledore’s request and rose. He slowly turned and found himself staring into a face that felt as familiar as his own. Indomitable hair, glasses, kind green eyes… Sirius cocked his head and stared at Harry Potter.

“Hello, Sirius,” Harry greeted, smiling softly. “I can’t believe I’m finally meeting you.”

“You… Uhm… You look like… Your dad?” Sirius mumbled, body trembling a bit. “Except your eyes… You have…”

“My mother’s eyes,” Harry interjected, a twinkle in said eyes. “I know. Been told.”

A sharp pain in his head made Sirius wince, “I don’t… I can’t…” 

“Sirius!” Remus said, approaching Sirius and trying to help him out.

“No!” Sirius shouted, holding out his hand to stop Remus. “You stay back! Don’t. Touch. Me!”

Remus whimpered and stopped, and Harry put a comforting hand on his arm.

“Sit back down, Sirius,” Dumbledore suggested and, once Sirius was seated again, gave him something to drink. “For your headache, and to help with your nerves. All perfectly safe, don’t worry.”

Sirius drank and felt instantly better. The pain receded, and he now felt ready to face Lupin and Potter.

Harry sat on the chair beside Sirius, but didn’t attempt to touch him. “I know this is hard for you,” he said, “But I swear we just want to talk. No one’s going to hurt you. Remus… Remus could _never_ hurt you.”

Sirius snorted and Remus whimpered again, causing Sirius to look at him.

“Never hurt me, could you?” Sirius asked, sarcastically. “Never again, you mean?”

“I don’t… I’ve never… Sirius, please,” Remus begged.

“Sirius,” Dumbledore said. “Why don’t you tell Remus exactly how he hurt you?”

Sirius thought about it. Where should he start? Remus Lupin bullied him and… No, wait, he didn’t, did he? Remus and The Marauders never tormented Sirius because… Because Sirius was one of them. That much Sirius now knew. So how? How did Lupin hurt him?

“He framed me. He’s the reason I spent fifteen years in Azkaban, and I was innocent!” Sirius shouted.

“I didn’t!” Remus yelled back.

“Sirius, Remus never framed you for what happened to the Potters. He wasn’t even in the Country at that time,” Dumbledore calmly explained. “Peter Pettigrew was working for Voldemort and he was responsible for James and Lily Potter’s death. And then what happened, Sirius? What happened to Pettigrew? Can you tell me?”

Sirius stared at Dumbledore and for a moment he couldn’t speak. What _did_ happen to Pettigrew?

“He… I… There was a street, Muggles were killed. He… The rat fled into the sewers. He lost a finger. And I… I wasn’t… I couldn’t do anything…” Sirius recalled, pained.

“I’m sorry, Sirius. Pettigrew was the one that framed you, not Remus,” Dumbledore explained. “He left you there to take the fall not just for your supposed role in the Potters’ murder, but for his own and those of a dozen of Muggles, too. We failed you, Sirius, when we fell for Pettigrew’s design. In a way, we are all responsible for what you’ve suffered, but it was unconsciously done and we’ve been trying to put things right ever since we found out the truth. Ever since _Remus_ did.”

“Remus… You…” Sirius whispered, looking up at Remus.

“I’m sorry… It took me a long time. In the beginning, I’m ashamed to say that I did believe you were guilty. But I know you’re not and, as soon as I could prove it, Dumbledore and I pled your case in front of the Wizengamot and exonerated you! I never meant to hurt you, Sirius…” Remus trailed off, wiping a tear from the corner of his eyes.

“You see,” Harry interjected. “Remus is on your side, we all are. He would never hurt you!”

“No, but… He’s… He has darkness inside. I know he does!” Sirius insisted. “Moonlit darkness…”

Remus sucked in a breath and hung his head, dejected.

“Sirius, are you referring to Remus’s nature, perhaps?” Dumbledore asked.

Nature? What was the old man talking about? What nature? Sirius was confused. Then, suddenly, a thought crossed his mind and he felt like slapping himself.  


Moonlight, pain, screams, darkness: Of course! Lupin was a bloody werewolf! How did Sirius not see it sooner? It had obviously been more effective for the Dementors to paint Remus as some sort of unspecified danger, a faceless darkness that would render Sirius’s mind unable to discern its nature and, in turn, rationalize it.

“A werewolf?” Sirius asked, and Remus nodded.

“I’m sorry if that… scares you, Sirius,” Remus mumbled, pained.

Without a conscious thought or decision, Sirius replied by instinct, “Of course it doesn’t scare me, Moony! It’s you! It didn’t scare me when I was eleven, why would it scare me now?”

As soon as the words left his mouth, Sirius could feel it hanging open in shock and saw the same expression mirrored on Remus’s face. Dumbledore, on the other hand, was smiling openly, and even Harry couldn’t help but cover his own smile with his hand.

“So now I ask you again, Sirius: When did Remus hurt you?” Dumbledore questioned.

The simpler answer was that he didn’t, he never did; yet, Sirius still felt hurt and betrayed whenever he looked at Remus. Why? He wasn’t a bully, he wasn’t responsible for Azkaban, he’d helped restore Sirius’s reputation and, apparently, the fact that he was a werewolf was no big deal to Sirius. Then how? How did Remus betray him?

_He married your cousin._

The thought flashed unbidden through his mind, and Sirius inhaled sharply. Was that really what all of this was about? Was Sirius jealous? Did he have feelings for Remus Lupin? 

The answer was obvious but Sirius wasn’t ready to face it yet, so he simply looked at Dumbledore.

“I guess he didn’t,” he replied, quietly. “I was wrong.”

“It’s not your fault!” Harry exclaimed. “Who knows what the Dementors made you see… I hate them,” he shivered. “Met them a few times, and even once would be one too many. I can’t even… It pains me to think of what you had to suffer and at the same time I’m so in awe of you for surviving it, and healing after you escaped.”

“I had help,” Sirius confided, surprised to realise he not only liked this Potter kid, but that he felt like he could trust him. He just looked so much like his father…

“That’s nice to hear, Sirius,” Dumbledore said. “Might we ask who helped you when you first escaped prison? And where have you been these past five years?”  


Reluctantly at first, then almost reassured when he started talking about his father, Sirius told them about his meeting with Andrew - _“Yes, he’s called Gentile, which is the Italian word for ‘kind’. Explains a lot, doesn’t it?”_ \- and how his life changed when Andrew brought him to Italy with him and gave him a job, a life, a purpose, and a new name. 

“Hunter,” Dumbledore said. “Of course, I see. Greek Mythology, right?”

Sirius nodded and, when Harry asked what Dumbledore meant, he explained about the Orion constellation being epitomized as a hunter in Homer’s _Odyssey_.

“That’s brilliant!” Harry grinned, and Sirius grinned back.

“I like it. Feels right to me. It was the beginning of a new chapter of my life, one that kept me safe, fed, and loved, and I wouldn’t want to give it up.”

“You don’t have to,” Remus said, speaking for the very first time since hearing Sirius admit he didn’t blame him anymore. “You never have to do anything you don’t want anymore, Pads.”

“Pads… That’s why Andy, my father, suggested I choose Patrick as first name. So I could keep being called Pads and make the transition easier,” Sirius shared.

“You call Mr. Gentile your father?” Harry asked.

“Yes, he’s the dad I never had. My own father was cold and unable to feel affection for anyone but himself and his pure blood bollocks; and I had Alphard, of course, but he was barely around. I’ve never had someone in my life I could look up to, learn from, and think of as my father, and Andy… He is all of that.”

“You had Monty,” Remus said, and Sirius’s eyes widened.

“Monty? Who’s… I don’t…” And then a smiling face appeared in front of his eyes, and Sirius gasped. Fleamont Potter, James’s father, who took Sirius under his wing and treated him like a son since the very first time he met him. Then, when at sixteen Sirius ran away from home and was disowned, Monty and Effie virtually adopted him and took care of him. 

And Sirius had forgotten them…

“Oh.” Sirius whispered. “Oh, I… I’m sorry, I didn’t… They took them away. They took everyone away, Moony. How could I lose them? Effie, and Monty, and _James_! You, too… I lost everyone, and I…”

Remus acted before being aware of what he was doing: He walked to where Sirius sat, pulled him up, then hugged him as tight as he could without breaking anything. He breathed a sigh of relief when he could feel Sirius cling back.

“I’m sorry, so sorry, Padfoot,” Remus whispered in Sirius’s ear, and the for the first time in so many years he felt the most important man in his life relax in his embrace.

“So am I,” Sirius muttered, his mouth pressed against Remus’s shoulder. “Sorry I thought badly of you. ‘M so sorry…”

“It’s done. Over, now. You’re back. I have you back,” Remus said, wetly.

The wish to reprimand Remus for his duplicity was strong – marrying Sirius’s cousin yet making it sound as if Sirius was the only one he wanted around – but something stopped Sirius from voicing it. He’d just started to piece his old life together, to reconnected with someone he now knew he had strong feelings for, and he’d just understood that fear and hatred had nothing to do with how Sirius felt. This wasn’t the time to question anything else. Sirius wasn’t even ready to tackle that.

Slowly, Sirius released Remus and turned back to face Dumbledore and Harry. 

“It appears there is a lot I still don’t know, or remember,” Sirius said. “Will you help me?”

The rest of the afternoon was spent doing just that.

*

“… and then I hugged Harry goodbye and he promised to come here for dinner tomorrow,” Sirius told Andrew by way of the mirror.

“It looks like the day was a success, my boy,” Andrew smiled. “I’m so relieved. I confess my insistence that you go to Hogwarts has been eating at me ever since you consented, and I was very worried about the meeting. It’s so good to hear that everything went well and you finally know the whole truth.”

“_Grazie, papà,_,” Sirius thanked Andrew. “I wouldn’t have found the courage to go to Dumbledore if you hadn’t pressed the issue, and I wouldn’t have found Harry, or remembered about James and the Potters. I wouldn’t have known about Remus, either…”

Andrew cocked his head at Sirius’s tone. “Is there something else about Remus, Hunter? Something that you still haven’t shared?”

Sirius cleared his throat. “Yeah, uhm… actually… uhm… I just…”

“Why am I suddenly reminded of that time Rosa found you kissing her brother in her sitting room? I couldn’t seem to get a word out of you then, either!” Andrew joked, making Sirius laugh out loud.

“Merlin, that was bad,” he said, still laughing a bit. “I thought you’d be angry that I was messing around with the daughter _and_ the son of one of your neighbours, and instead you couldn’t stop laughing! You’re something else, dad.”

“Well, Federico does look a lot better than his sister and, from what you told me, it did sound like he was way more fun in bed, no?”

Sirius winked, nodding, then sobered up and finally answered Andrew’s question about Remus.

“_Papà_, do you remember when I told you I had this distant memory of a boy from school? Someone I cared about more than I could say, and that I felt belonged to me even if we’d never really been together? I think… Actually, I’m sure now that the boy was Remus,” Sirius confessed.

“Ah, _sì_, I did think it might be something like that.”

Sirius nodded. “When we were in Dumbledore’s office, there was a moment when I couldn’t help but feel betrayed by Remus for marrying Tonks. I wanted to shout at him for it, ask him how he could do that. How he could choose her when I… When I loved… Uhm… But of course I couldn’t. Hell, I’d just stopped thinking he was a monster, what right had I to berate him for something else that wasn’t his fault? So, I love him since I was a boy, so what? It doesn’t mean he has to return my feelings, does it?”

“To be fair, and please take this with a grain of salt, Pads, since I don’t really know Remus, but from everything that you told me it seems to me like he cares for you a great deal. A very great deal,” Andrew said. “I’m not saying he doesn’t love his wife, why would he marry her if he didn’t? But he sure spent all his free time, while he was fighting a war and after it ended, looking for you. That means something.”

“So, should I ask him? Talk to him?” Sirius asked, frowning.

“Maybe get reacquainted with him first, get to know if the man he is now still resembles the boy you loved; see him with his wife and observe how he behaves with her. You are a fantastic evaluator, Hunter, there is no one I trust more to take care of the antiques I need an estimate about. Evaluate Remus, now. Put your keen mind to the task and find the answer you seek,” Andrew wisely suggested.

Sirius considered Andy’s words, and a new determination set in his bones. 

“I can start by inviting Remus to come to dinner with Harry tomorrow,” Sirius planned, and Andrew agreed. “I’ll introduce you, too, _papà_, okay? Through the mirror.”

“I’d love to get to know your Godson and your friend, Pads,” Andrew smiled.

“I’ll owl him now,” Sirius said. “_Buonanotte, papà_.”

“_Dormi bene, figlio mio._”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grazie papà = Thanks dad  
Sì = Yes  
Buonanotte papà = Goodnight dad  
Dormi bene, figlio mio = Sleep well, my son


	6. Appraisals

Sirius had to admit that taking the liberty of inviting guests in a house that wasn’t his own, and that he was occupying only as long as his work on the collection was done, made him feel uneasy. Not to mention that he had to make use of other people’s appliances and dinnerware in order to cook and serve the meal. Still, the owners of the house did request that he make himself at home, so Sirius shrugged off his concerns and invited both Remus and Harry for dinner.

He prepared _tagliatelle al ragù_, one of the pasta dishes with a meat and tomato sauce that Andrew had taught him to cook, and he even found time to bake some garlic bread to go with it. When it was time for his guests to arrive, Sirius had to admit he was satisfied with the results of his efforts.

Harry arrived first and he brought dessert, but Remus wasn’t too far behind.

“Sorry I didn’t come bearing gifts,” Remus smiled.

“Not a problem,” Sirius reassured. “I have some wine and, with Harry’s pie, we now have everything we need for dinner.”

“You baked a pie?” Remus teased Harry, and the boy laughed.

“I could have, if I wanted to poison you all! No, Mrs. Weasley made the apple pie, and Ginny brought it home.”

“Mrs. Weasley?” Sirius asked, sure he’d heard the name before (the shop in Diagon Alley, wasn’t it?) but still unable to pin it down.

“Molly Weasley, yes. She’s my girlfriend’s and best friend’s mum. She’s sort of my own adoptive mum, too, to be fair,” Harry explained.

Seeing that Sirius was still frowning a bit, Remus intervened. 

“You remember the Prewetts, Sirius?”

“Yes, I… uhm… Fabian and… uh… Gideon, was it?”

“That’s right,” Remus replied. “Molly was their sister. She married Arthur Weasley a bit before the first war, and they have a big family now. You might even remember one of their sons: Charlie?”

Sirius slowly nodded, a head of red hair and an easy smile flashing through his mind.

“They’d like to see you, Sirius. The Weasleys,” Harry told him, then. “They asked me to invite you for dinner one of these days. I would love it if you felt you could come, and I can’t wait for you to meet Ginny! Ron and Hermione, too.”

“I’m not…” Sirius started with every intention of backing out, but for some reason he couldn’t bring himself to disappoint Harry just yet by flat out refusing to meet the people he thought of as his family. “We’ll see, okay? Not sure if I can promise anything right now, but I’m not saying no.”

Relieved, Harry smiled and nodded.

“Speaking of meeting the family, would you two like to meet Andrew?” Sirius asked.

Harry and Remus glanced at one another.

“Is he here, too?” Remus asked.

“No, he’s in Rome. He hurt his hip and can’t travel at the moment. But I have a two-way mirror and we keep in touch with it. I told him I would contact him and introduce you as soon as you got here. If that’s okay?” 

“Yes, of course!” Harry shouted, enthusiastically.

Remus smiled. “I would love to, Sirius. I’ve been meaning to write to him and thank him for everything he’s done for you anyway, it will be nice to have the chance to do it in person.”

Nodding, Sirius picked up the mirror and called for Andrew.

“_Ciao_ Pads,” Andrew greeted as soon as he appeared in the mirror. “Are your friends there, yet?”

“Yes, _papà_. Here,” Sirius said, turning the mirror towards Remus.

“Well, hello there. Mr. Lupin, am I right?” Andrew asked when he was able to see Remus.

“Yes, _Signor Gentile_. I’m Remus Lupin. It’s a true pleasure to meet you.”

“Same here, I’m sure,” Andrew replied.

“I wanted to thank you for finding Sirius and taking care of him, sir. He told us that you saved him and gave him a life, a safe place, and someone to call family. I’ll never be able to express just how grateful I am to you… _Grazie mille_,” Remus said, eyes watery.

“I appreciate your words, Remus. May I call you Remus?” Andrew waited for Remus’s nod. “Although, in all fairness, I have to say that lady luck was smiling at me when she put me in Padfoot’s path. I thought I found a new friend in the dog, but it turns out I was receiving an even bigger gift that day: A son.”

Sirius smiled at Andrew’s words and, even if he was the one holding up the mirror and couldn’t be seen through it, he spoke, sure that Andrew would hear him anyway, “Thanks, dad. No need to get all mushy, though!”

Andrew roared with laughter. “I can do what I want, _ragazzo_!” He joked. “Remus, let me say how grateful I am to you for working as hard as you did to prove Pads’s innocence; and also, that I’m quite relieved to hear you’re not exactly how my son remembered you to be. It gave this old man quite the comfort to know that Pads isn’t in any danger while he’s in London, believe me.”

“Thank you, sir. I promise you I will not let any harm come to him. Never again,” Remus vowed, addressing Andrew but looking resolutely in Sirius’s eyes. “Never.”

Sirius nodded, smiling, then turned the mirror towards Harry.

“This is Harry Potter, _papà_,” Sirius introduced.

“Hello, Mr. Gentile,” Harry greeted, smiling at the wrinkled, yet still handsome, face of the man who had saved his Godfather.

“Harry Potter,” Andrew said. “I feel the need to thank you for ridding the world of its greatest menace yet, my boy. We are all safer because of your bravery and sacrifice. I am honoured to meet you.”

Harry blushed bright red and mumbled a thank you.

Andrew laughed. “Pads tells me that your parents made him your _Padrino_… What’s the English word… uhm… Godfather! This makes you family to me, too, Harry. If you ever want to come to Rome, you have a place with me. You can have Hunter’s apartment.”

“Oi! You already giving away my stuff?” Sirius complained, winking at Harry.

“Like you don’t eat my food and sleep on my sofa often enough,” Andrew replied, and Sirius laughed.

“I would love to come visit you, Mr. Gentile,” Harry said.

“Please, call me Andrew. Or Andy, like Pads does at times. You, too, Remus,” Andrew offered, and both Harry and Remus thanked him and readily accepted. 

“Right, I will let you go on and eat now. It’s been a pleasure to meet you both. And Pads?” Andrew called, and waited for Sirius to face the mirror. “Remember what we talked about? Your evaluation? I did tell you I could see a great deal of caring, and I wasn’t wrong. I wasn’t wrong at all, _capisci?_”

Sirius nodded and smiled a bit, before bidding goodnight to Andrew and putting away the mirror.

*

Dinner went smoothly, and Sirius received a lot of praise for his cooking. The atmosphere was relaxed and friendly, and the evening seemed to fly by. Soon, it was time for Harry to go back home since he had work the following day – Sirius was very impressed when Harry revealed that he’d already finished his training as Auror, and was now busy working in the field. Remus, on the other hand, seemed not to be in a hurry to leave so Sirius offered to show him a bit of the work he was doing.

“It’s mostly time-consuming, and unfortunately not everything in here is valuable or even fit for re-selling; but every once in a while you find a true gem and it makes everything worthwhile. Besides, it’s interesting to see what people accumulate in a lifetime,” Sirius explained, his passion for his job bleeding through his words.

“Do you ever come across something dangerous, or maybe transfigured, that needs to be analysed in depth?” Remus asked.

“Sometimes, yes. Andrew’s business also entails taking care of such things. In order to avoid any incident, he has me wearing special gloves that send a tingle to my fingers whenever I’m coming close to an object with strong or dark magic. But I’ll confess that the chance of taking care of transfigured stuff, or even to have to stop and remove a curse from something, it’s quite thrilling to me,” Sirius winked.

Remus laughed. “Yes, I can see that. As long as you’re careful,” he said, looking at Sirius with naked affection.

Sirius blushed and looked down. 

“What are you doing these days?” Sirius asked, changing the subject. “I’m sorry I was so excited about Harry’s career that I didn’t think to ask earlier.”

“It’s okay. My job is nowhere near as interesting as Harry’s. Or yours. My work with the Order made me some kind of expert on various creatures, so I’m now writing articles for a few publications about that. Actually, one of the publishers recently offered me a book deal, and I even have an agent. They want me to write about Dark Creatures in order to help the Wizarding world understand and accept them, _us_, better and maybe even sway a few more to our cause.” 

“That’s brilliant, Moony!” Sirius exclaimed, clapping Remus on the back. “I can think of no one else more qualified than you to write the perfect book.”

“Thank you, Pads,” Remus smiled, pleased. “After the war, my nature as a werewolf became public domain since my role in the Battle of Hogwarts earned me the Order of Merlin but, unfortunately, prejudice is still very high among witches and wizards, and many of my kind are still shunned. If I can do anything to help them, I’ll be satisfied.”

“Order of Merlin, uh? Look at you, Moons,” Sirius grinned, and Remus bowed. “Are things easier for you now, then?”

“Only in the sense that people can’t outright reject me or glare at me when I pass them by on the street but, while I can’t say I suffer the same social ostracism that many other werewolves are subjected to, I can still get the cold-shoulder from many people. It is what it is.”

“It doesn’t have to be! It’s such bollocks, Remus! Isn’t Kingsley Minister of Magic now? I remember him, he’s a good sort. Can’t he do something to help? Pass some law that allows people to kick others in the butt if they’re being prejudiced arseholes?”

Remus chuckled, “I would love to see that. But really, Kingsley is trying his best. People’s minds can take a while to be changed. I’m just hoping my book will be a step in that direction.”

“Well, if I can help in any way let me know, okay? Arse kicking especially. Been a while but I still got it in me,” Sirius joked, and Remus grinned.

The clock in the sitting room chimed midnight, and both Sirius and Remus startled.

“Is it really that late?” Remus wondered, surprised.

“Guess so. You… uhm… You need to go home to your… uhm… _wife_, don’t you?” Sirius asked, unable to keep the bitterness out of his voice at the mention of Tonks.

Remus blushed, “I do, yes. I should have been back to help put Teddy to bed, too. I missed that.”

“I’m sorry to have kept you,” Sirius said, sharply.

“You didn’t! I wanted to stay. I… Missed you for so long and I didn’t want this night to end…” Remus revealed.

Pacified by his words, Sirius nodded. “Yeah, ‘s been good to reconnect. We can have other nights, though, can’t we?”

“I’d like that. As many nights – and days, too, maybe? – as possible,” Remus vowed, and Sirius smiled.

*

After Remus left, Sirius spent some time cleaning the kitchen and putting everything away. He then toured the whole house to make sure everything was locked and put back in its place, then retired to the room where he’d placed his cot.

With his nightly routine taken care of, Sirius lay down and started his evaluation of the evening. Beginning with Harry seemed easier, so Sirius spent some time taking stock of his own feelings about his Godson. The small wariness he’d felt at first when he’d decided to try and let Harry close had now completely vanished, and Sirius could readily admit to caring for the boy. The kid didn’t have an easy life and, though he was sure there was more to discover about the treatment Harry had been subjected to while in the custody of his aunt and uncle, what little Harry had shared already enraged Sirius. Yet, the boy thrived against all odds, didn’t let the adversity he faced bring him down, found courage in the most desperate of times, and was obviously in possess of the purest of hearts.

It was impossible for anyone not to admire and respect Harry Potter, and Sirius knew it would be impossible for himself not to grow to love him as his own.Harry had also brought with him a picture of his parents that night and showed it to Sirius. Analysing the feelings that the sight of James and Lily Potter evoked in him was a little more difficult for Sirius. Looking at James’s smiling face for the first time in decades had shattered every doubt Sirius still might harbour about his own relationship with the man: Sirius had loved James Potter with the strength of a thousand suns. While he stared at the picture, flash after flash of his friendship with the real true brother he’d ever known had bombarded Sirius and were even now making him cry.

Looking back, Sirius raged at the cruelty of the Dementors and their barbaric pleasure in making him believe that James had been an enemy when he was, in fact, one of the most important relations Sirius had ever cultivated.

But the Dementors took away someone else, too, twisting and deforming every memory, every feeling Sirius ever had: Remus Lupin, whom Sirius had feared and hated for years and who didn’t deserve any of it.

Where James had been a brother, a partner in crime, and almost an alternate version of himself, Remus Lupin had been Sirius’s rock, his confidant, his best friend. Remus had been something else, too, something more. Sirius had loved Remus – and maybe he still loved him just as much – had desired him, and dreamed of him. Sirius had wanted to protect Remus, keep him safe, be with him and the wolf when he couldn’t help but turn under the moonlight. Far from being an adversary, Remus had been everything Sirius wanted.

And his affection wasn’t one-sided. Sirius had observed Remus closely that evening, and Andrew was right: Remus cared for him very much. He had even forgotten about his son’s bedtime to stay with Sirius a little longer. Remus needed to be close to Sirius just as much as Sirius wanted him to stay close.

However, did this mean that Remus loved him, too? Or was it just the guilt for not helping Sirius sooner, for believing him to be a murderer, that drove Remus now? Maybe Remus only missed his best friend and had no intention or desire for more. He had a wife after all, a son, a family.

Could Remus love Sirius? Sirius fell asleep with that question in his mind. 

Whatever the answer, one thing was certain: Sirius’s appraisals had only just begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grazie mille = Thank you very much  
Signor Gentile = Mr. Gentile  
Ragazzo = boy  
Capisci = you understand
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	7. Inheritance

One of the effects of proving Sirius’s innocence was, of course, him being reinstated as rightful Black heir. His own vault at Gringotts, filled with the Galleons his uncle Alphard had left him in his will and with the ones James’s parents had poured into it when he was living with them, was back in Sirius’s possession and he just needed to speak with the Head Goblin to request a new key in order to get everything back. 

Furthermore, two other vaults were now tied to Sirius’s name: The first one had been his parents’ private one, and the second was a vault generally owned by the head of the Black family. 

To possess even just one of these vaults would make a person quite wealthy, but to be the sole owner of all three? Sirius was now one of the richest men in Europe. And that was not all. Included in Sirius’s inheritance were a few lots of building land, Alphard’s old flat and, of course, the house in Grimmauld Place.

Problem was, Sirius didn’t want any of the aforementioned goods. He had every intention of reclaiming his own money, kept in the vault he himself had opened with Monty’s help, but everything else? As far as Sirius was concerned, it was all drenched in blood – some of it his own – and he wanted no part of it.

The entire point was moot, though, because a number of reasons stopped Sirius from taking a trip to the bank, or the Ministry, and reclaim at least what was his. First and foremost, Sirius had until now successfully avoided the press, but he knew that as soon as he started making enquiries about his estate, journalists would catch on to his return and it would be open season on him. Then, there was of course the matter of confronting people who’d sat all around him during his trial to judge him, scorn him, and cheer when he was sentenced to Hell. By officially re-entering society, Sirius would certainly be faced with many of the peers who let him rot in Azkaban and been glad about it. 

It was one thing to reconnect with old friends, fix his own memories, and find a place in their lives again; another was putting himself in front of the world at large and brave the reactions to his return. Would they feel guilty to have summarily convicted an innocent man? Would they still be suspicious of him? Would they gawk at him and try to find faults in everything he did, everything he’d become? Would they want to exploit him because of his newfound wealth?

Sirius was in no hurry to find out.

*

Harry finally convinced Sirius to have dinner at the Burrow, the Weasleys’ home, and a small gathering greeted him when he apparated there that evening, flanked by his grinning Godson and his girlfriend.

Sirius liked Ginny Weasley from the get go. She was funny, smart, extremely good at Quidditch – something that won her an enormous amount of favours with Sirius – and a perfect match for Harry. She didn’t let him take himself too seriously, and was always able to wrestle Harry out of a bad mood. In a way, she reminded Sirius of Lily Evans and, while he did think Ginny and Harry were a bit too young to live together already, Sirius didn’t feel like he was in any position to judge. The guest room of his little flat in London, the one he’d rented just after school, had had Remus’s name written on the door since the very first night, after all. 

Speaking of Remus, he and his wife were among the first to welcome Sirius when he arrived, and he was glad to finally have the chance to observe them together. Though he’d seen Tonks one other time since their very first encounter in Diagon Alley, and of course Sirius and Remus had seen each other daily ever since they re-connected, this was the very first time Sirius saw her with her husband, and him with her. Sirius was sure the endeavour wouldn’t be entirely pleasant, but he nonetheless was looking forward to adding a new set of data to his evaluation.

While Ginny, Harry, and Tonks entered the house, Remus stayed outside with Sirius for a moment longer.

“Alright?” Remus asked, concerned.

“Yeah, good. Might make my escape sooner than Harry would like, but I’ll play nice,” Sirius smiled.

Before Remus could reply, Arthur Weasley reached them.

“Hello, Sirius,” he smiled, offering his hand which Sirius shook.

“Arthur,” Sirius greeted back. “Thank you for having me.”

“Nonsense! Molly and I have been looking forward to seeing you. My wife has been pestering Harry for days to get you here.”

Sirius’s answering smile was a bit tight, and Remus patted him encouragingly on the back.

“Shall we?” Arthur invited gesturing towards the door, and the three made their way in.

A sea of red hair and smiling faces welcomed Sirius and, with a deep breath, he passed through the masses, greeting people and shaking hands, until he reached a kind-faced woman that he remembered meeting once or twice during his acquaintance with her brothers.

“Hello, Molly. It is nice to see you,” Sirius said, and then let out a small ‘ooof’ when he was squashed against Molly Weasley’s body.

“Oh, Sirius!” She said with a tremor in her voice. “It’s so good to see you healthy! After all that happened to you, after what you suffered… We even thought you were dead at some point! Oh, but it’s lovely to have you back.”

Sirius must have let out a small squeak reacting to her words and her iron grip, because suddenly Arthur was pulling his wife back and he was free.

“Well… uh… Thank you?” Sirius tried, eyes meeting Remus’s amused ones. “I’m also glad I’m not dead, if that helps.”

A few snorts were heard around the room and Molly blushed and glared at Sirius a bit, before letting herself be distracted by the meal she was preparing and that still needed her attention. Sirius breathed a sigh of relief.

Harry claimed Sirius’s attention and introduced him to his best friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. Ron worked with Harry in the Auror corp while Hermione was still in training to become an Unspeakable. Sirius enjoyed himself talking with her about Cursed Objects, and was glad when he was able to give Hermione a few pointers about how to deal with them. She asked many questions about Sirius’s job, and he was happy to share the many things he’d learned working for Andrew Gentile.

When it was finally time to sit down for dinner, Sirius found himself in an unique position to observe Remus and Tonks together since Harry asked Sirius to sit between himself and Hermione, and that meant sitting opposite to the Lupins. 

The first thing Sirius noticed, and that sent a stab to his heart, was that Remus called his wife Dora. It was obviously a shortening of Nymphadora, but Sirius couldn’t remember anyone else ever calling his cousin thus. Whether Remus himself had decided on the name or was asked to use it by Tonks, Sirius couldn’t tell; and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer, anyway.

Tonks often referred to her husband as ‘sweetheart’, and Sirius alternately wanted to scoff because of how sappy it was, and growl at her for having the right to be as sappy as she chose.

To be honest though, aside from the lovey-dovey names, Sirius couldn’t see any outright demonstration of affection between them. Bill and his wife, Fleur, on the other hand couldn’t seem to stop blowing kisses at one another, holding each other’s hand, or gazing lovingly in each other’s eyes. Of course, Bill was younger than Remus, and he could still be considered a wide-eyed, love-addled, foolish young man, but still… The difference in behaviour was striking.

What did this mean? Were Remus and Tonks simply not into public demonstrations of affection? Or were they not as in love with one another as Bill and Fleur were?

The dinner went by without a hitch and, aside from complimenting her on the delicious food, Sirius was able to avoid any other confrontation with Molly who still didn’t seem sure if she wanted to smother him with affection, or reprimand him for not having the kind of attitude she thought he should have. She instantly accepted him into the fold, as did her husband and the rest of the family, but Sirius could see a little annoyance mixed in with the affection. It was a sentiment Sirius often elicit in people, so he wasn’t worried or hurt by it; maybe just a little amused.

At some point, while most of the others were either helping Molly with the leftovers and the dishes, or outside for a chat and to walk off all the food, Sirius found himself standing just out of the door of the house with Remus and Arthur.

“Have you already set an appointment with the Minister, Sirius?” Arthur asked.

“Uhm… no? I haven’t. Why? Should I?”

“Of course! In order to gain access to your inheritance, and to receive your official pardon and the apology letter, you need to go see Kingsley. And then of course, you should swing by Gringotts and retrieve your keys,” Arthur explained.

“Ah, yes, well…” Sirius stalled. “I’m not sure…”

“There’s no hurry, is there?” Remus interjected. “Documents and vaults will still be there when you decide it’s time to go.”

Sirius smiled, gratefully.

“Yes, of course, but why wouldn’t you claim them immediately? They’re rightfully yours!” Arthur was puzzled. “Surely, you want to get the official business over with as soon as possible, eh?”

Sighing, Sirius closed his eyes. “I should, yes, you’re right. Andrew keeps telling me _‘Via il dente, via il dolore’_, which is the Italian way to say that I should just rip the band-aid off and be done with it – though literally it means that the toothache will also be gone once the tooth is and I truly think, in this case, it’s the most accurate description. But, there’s so many things that will come with my return to society, and those can have long-lasting effects too, so I’m hesitating,” Sirius confessed.

“Ah, yes, I can see how… I imagine the _Prophet_ will be very interested in your miraculous return from the dead,” Arthur said. “But, and I’m sorry to have to be the one to break the news to you, Sirius, I do think they’ve already caught wind of your presence in England, so even if you do not claim your inheritance, I’m afraid you won’t be able to stay hidden for much longer. Your Andrew is right: Get this tooth out!”

Feeling like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders, Sirius nodded.

“You don’t have to do it alone, Pads,” Remus said, placing a comforting hand on Sirius’s back, and caressing it. “I’m sure Dumbledore will come with you to the Ministry, and to Gringotts too, should you need it; and I… I could also accompany you. If you wish…”

“Yeah, I… Yes, thank you,” Sirius replied, and Remus smiled, relieved.

“Remus? Sweetheart?” Tonks called her husband from inside the house.

“I’m outside, Dora,” he replied, without taking his hand off Sirius’s back.

Tonks reached them and her eyes narrowed a bit when she saw how close Remus and Sirius were standing, and how her husband seemed unable to let go of Sirius. 

“We need to go pick up Teddy from mum’s, Remus,” Tonks said. “She told me to ask you to go see her, too, Sirius. Or at least to owl her,” she also said, glaring a bit as if to reprimand Sirius for not having contacted Andromeda before.

And maybe, Sirius had to admit, she wasn’t entirely wrong. 

“I will, I promise,” he answered; then, in a fit of curiosity, he stepped deliberately away from Remus dislodging his hand.

Remus sharply looked at Sirius, worry and hurt clear in his eyes, and Sirius noticed that her husband’s reaction hadn’t passed unnoticed by Tonks, either. 

Emboldened, and a bit flattered by Remus’s response to the loss of closeness between them, Sirius smiled reassuringly at him and Remus’s expression cleared.

“It’s late, Remus,” Tonks insisted, and Remus finally nodded.

“Thank you for dinner, Arthur,” Remus said, and Tonks smiled in agreement. “We’ll see you again soon, I hope. And Sirius, I’ll pop by tomorrow, if that’s okay?”

Taking in the darkening of Tonks’s face, not to mention her hair, at Remus’s words, Sirius merely nodded and said his goodbyes.

He didn’t stay for long after Remus and Tonks apparated away, but Sirius made sure to thank Molly once more before going, and to invite Hermione to visit the house where he was staying if she wanted to talk some more about Cursed Objects and maybe see some of the tools Sirius used while appraising a collection that might count such items hidden among its treasures.

All in all, Sirius had to admit while he lay himself down on his cot, it had been a very fruitful night.

*

In the end, as it usually happens when a person frets about something only to find out that there was really no need to, Sirius’s trip to the Ministry and to Gringotts Wizarding Bank went swimmingly. In addition to those written in the Ministry-issued letter, Kingsley Shacklebolt most graciously offered his own apologies for the injustice Sirius had suffered, and was genuinely happy to see Sirius alive and well. 

Unfortunately, an official photo of Sirius receiving his pardon from Kingsley’s hands had to be taken, and a few journalists were also gathered in the Ministry Main Atrium when Sirius came out of the office, but the whole experience was less traumatic than Sirius had feared it might be. It wasn’t pleasant, far from it, but it was over quickly and then it was done. The press would do what they usually did with something (or someone) they considered news, and Sirius would try his best to ignore them.

Exiting Gringotts later that same day, and as soon as Sirius was once again in possession of the key to his own vault plus the ones for the other two, Dumbledore bid his goodbyes and left Sirius alone with Remus.

“There is one other stop I have to make,” Sirius said, sighing in exhaustion. “My parents’ solicitors sent me a letter a couple of days ago, and I’m going to have to go listen to what they want to say. Will you come with me? Do you have time, or does your wife need you back home?”

Sirius knew he was being unfair with his jabs about Tonks, but he couldn’t help himself.

“I can stay for as long as you need me to,” Remus replied, and Sirius’s heart swelled.

“Let’s go, then.”

They apparated at the law firm and, after a short wait, they were received. The solicitor tried to insist he had to talk to Sirius alone, but he refused to go in without Remus so the werewolf was grudgingly invited in, too.

“Mr. Black,” the solicitor, a Mr. Pennyworth, started, “First, let me please say how pleased I am to see you alive and well.”

“Yes,” Sirius interrupted, sarcastically. “That seems to be the general consensus now. Funny how things change, eh?”

Remus let out a soft snort, and Sirius grinned.

“If we could dispose of the pleasantries and get right to the point, please?” Sirius continued, using his ‘I’m the son of Orion Black and I don’t have time for you peasants’ voice.

“Absolutely,” the solicitor replied, paling. “The deeds to all the lots of land you own, and also to your uncle’s apartment, are in this envelope,” he said, pushing said envelope towards Sirius. “As for the Blacks’ ancestral house, you are as of today the only Secret Keeper for its location given that your cousin, Bellatrix Black Lestrange, is deceased and her sister, Mrs. Malfoy, was never given any knowledge concerning the house. In that regard, you can simply go there and use your wand to get inside. The door will react to your blood and it will open for you. If you wish to sell any of the pieces of real estate in your possession, this firm will be happy to manage the deed for you. However, as I’m sure you know, your ancestral house cannot be sold. It is…”

“Yes, yes, I know perfectly well what that place is, no need for you to remind me. It can’t be sold, it needs to stay in the family. But, can it be repurposed is what I want to know?” Sirius asked.

“I’m sorry? Repurposed?”

“Yes, can I turn it into something else? A hotel or something? It would still be mine, still in the family, but it wouldn’t be a private house anymore. Can it be done?”

Pennyworth’s eyes bugged out of his skull. “Well,” he said, tentatively. “Technically, I don’t see why not. It can surely be done. But why would you…”

“Never mind that,” Sirius interrupted. “Is that all? Anything else I should know?”  
The solicitor shook his head, apparently too surprised or too scared to speak, and Sirius gestured for Remus to follow him out.

“Good day,” Remus wished, smiling widely at the gobsmacked expression on Pennyworth’s face.

*

“Repurposed?” Remus asked, drinking his tea while sitting with Sirius in one of the rooms he’d already cleared in the house where he was staying.

“Ah, Moony. I have plans for that wretched place. You’ll see soon enough,” Sirius replied, a twinkle in his eyes.

Remus laughed. “I can’t wait.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While writing this chapter I was rewatching the Dark Knight trilogy... I suppose a tiny little thing bled through, I'm sure you've noticed ;)
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	8. Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, this is the chapter where the juicy stuff starts happening ;) Also, apparently I'm unable of writing something without making Sirius and Remus look at pictures, as you will see in this chapter, too. Sorry, not sorry :)

Sirius stood in the long entry hallway of Grimmauld Place, his wand in one hand and a small bag in the other. Magically enlarged, the bag held all his personal belongings: his clothes, various potions, the journal he used to take note of all the items he inventoried and sent to Andrew while he worked on the collection, and then of course his working tools and the two-way mirror. He quickly recited a couple of spells in order to get the house to recognise him and allow him entrance, and then muttered a _Revelio_ to make sure no one else was inside. 

Sirius knew that during the war Kreacher, the old house elf that had served his mother so faithfully, had gone to work for Bellatrix first and for Narcissa later, and he remained in the latter’s employment to this day. Of course, Sirius being the heir of the Black family, if he wanted he could recall Kreacher to himself and have him work in the house, but the less Sirius saw, or even thought, of the elf the better. There was no love lost there and, after all, working for the Malfoys was a more than suitable position for the nasty little bugger.

Nonetheless, knowing the house was most likely empty was one thing, but Sirius needed to be absolutely certain before he ventured inside. Once he was sure to be alone – not counting pixies and boggarts that surely abounded and would need to be dealt with – Sirius picked up the bag and made his way to his father’s office. He would need to start there and clear that room out first of all because that office, along with his mother’s personal parlour, were the rooms most likely to contain the bigger concentration of Cursed Objects. Nothing in Grimmauld Place was safe to the touch, but every single item in what had been his parents’ private rooms could definitely kill a man.

Remus and Harry – not to mention Hermione, whose eyes had brightened at the prospect of being allowed inside one of the most infamous magical houses – had offered to come with Sirius, but he’d refused. With his work on the collection finally finished, Sirius had returned the empty house to its rightful owners, bid his goodbyes, and decided to move into Grimmauld Place; because of that, he would soon make its location known to his friends and in turn make them Secret Keepers too, so they could come visit and maybe lend a hand when it was safe to do so. All of that would have to wait, though, because first Sirius needed to clear the house out as best he could. 

He wasn’t exactly looking forward to staying in his old house, and Sirius was sure he would need an enormous quantity of Dreamless Draught if he hoped to be able to sleep at night in this awful place; still, he felt that he somehow needed to take this step, live in this house once more, strip it from the power it still held on him, and then permanently change its course.

Besides, Grimmauld Place was actually a goldmine for the owner of an ‘Antiques and Collectibles’ shop, and Sirius planned to purify, restore, and catalogue every single item in it so that Andrew could sell it in his shop. The revenue they could get out of his father’s possessions alone would be enough for them, Andrew especially, not to have to work a single day again if they didn’t want to. Not that Andrew would ever willingly leave his shop, of course.

A muffled muttering reached Sirius’s ears and he realised that, before he could actually start working and in order to have a bit of peace in the house, he would need to take care of his mother’s portrait. He climbed the stairs and stood in front of it.

“Hello, mother. I wish I could say it’s nice to see you,” Sirius greeted, softly, opening the curtains.

Walburga immediately started cursing him, her face contorted by rage and hatred. 

“Yes, yes, I know. No need to shout,” Sirius told her, smiling and enraging her further.

Luckily, because of his work, Sirius was not only able to close the curtains on her again and make sure they’d stay shut indefinitely, but he also had a way to unstick the portrait from the wall. He made quick work of it and, once he was done, he shrunk up the canvas, too, and placed it in a box. 

“Sleep well, mother,” he said before sending the box up to the attic. 

Satisfied he would have silence from then on, Sirius made his way downstairs again and recited the password required to gain entrance to his father’s office, glad that Orion never thought to change it. Once in and with the door closed behind him, he pointed his wand at the room and performed the spell that would allow him to freeze every single thing inside. It wouldn’t neutralize the curse they might hold, of course, but it would serve to put them in stasis until Sirius could get to them.

Taking a deep breath, Sirius took his special gloves out of the bag, donned them, and went to work.

* 

It took the best part of a week for Sirius to be satisfied that the poisonous house wouldn’t accidentally kill anyone and, while many rooms still needed careful checking and cleaning, Sirius finally felt it was safe to invite Remus and Harry to Grimmauld Place. He waited for them outside, whispered the address, and watched as his house appeared in front of their eyes.

“Wow,” Harry marvelled. “I really do love magic.”

“Nothing to love about the kind of magic in this house, Harry,” Sirius said. “But with your help maybe we can turn things around now.”

Harry smiled, nodding earnestly.

“Never thought you’d be invited in, Moony, did you?” Sirius grinned, looking at Remus.

“Wasn’t exactly eager to visit, actually; or to meet your mother,” Remus winked. “But I do admit to having a bit of curiosity about this place.”

“You and James offered to help me burn it to the ground, remember?”

Remus laughed, “I do, yes. And can I just say how glad I am that you do, too?”

Sirius smiled and nodded. “Right, in you go, then! I would tell you you’re welcome, but why in the world would you want to be it’s still fairly unclear to me.”

Grinning, the three went inside.

“Oh,” Harry commented once in. “It’s very… uhm… very… Well, dark, I guess.”

“It is the House of _Black_, after all,” Sirius quipped. “And I strongly suspect my mother was allergic to any colour lighter than dark green.”

Sirius proceeded to give Harry and Remus the tour of the house, asking them to be careful not to touch anything that hadn’t been examined, yet – including the pots and the dishes in the kitchen since Sirius only thought to purify the teakettle and a few mugs, preferring to always eat take-away or accept dinner invitations from other people. For that reason, and because Sirius was almost certain nothing deadly could hide in the kitchen (or that’s what he hoped,) the three of them decided to take care of that room and started cleaning it.

It took a few hours, but when they were finished Sirius finally had a usable kitchen. Unfortunately, all Sirius could offer for lunch were sandwiches and tea, but he promised to repay their hard work with a homecooked, three-course meal as soon as possible, and Harry and Remus readily accepted.

“You’ve become quite the cook,” Remus commented.

His mouth full of the bite of sandwich he was chewing, Harry simply nodded his agreement.

“You’ll need to thank Andy for that, too. One of his lovers was a chef back in the day, and she taught him every trick. I then learned from Andy and I have to say there’s a sort of solace to be found in cooking. The simple art of chopping ingredients, assembling them, smelling the aroma of the food, and then being able to enjoy the result was very therapeutic for me,” Sirius explained. “Baking, especially, takes a lot of concentration and you don’t have time to brood.”

“Well, Harry and I will be more than happy to enjoy the results of your therapy any time you wish to share ‘em, Pads,” Remus smiled, and Sirius returned it.

Harry kept nodding, eagerly.

They conversed for a while still, then Harry had to excuse himself and go to work, so Sirius and Remus once more found themselves alone. 

“Where do you propose we go now? What should we clean next?” Remus asked.

“I was thinking we could go to my old bedroom,” Sirius mused.

“You didn’t clean that out, yet?” Remus was surprised. “I thought that room would be among the first you’d take care of so you could sleep in there.”

“I didn’t sleep much the first couple of nights I spent here and then Andy was worried that I might get addicted to the Dreamless potion, so I simply decided to let Padfoot kip on the sofa in my father’s former office, the very first room I cleared. To be honest, I haven’t even been inside my room, yet…” Sirius explained.

“Lead the way, then,” Remus said. “I confess I always wanted to see your bedroom.”

“Oh, did you?” Sirius asked, pointedly. “Tell me more about that, Moony.”

Remus blushed and let out a small, embarrassed laugh. Sirius decided to take pity on him and stop teasing for the moment, so he simply led the way to the stairs.

They climbed to the second floor and stopped in front of a door with the name SIRIUS etched on it, but Sirius prevented Remus from opening the door. 

“Wait. I’m sure I didn’t leave anything dangerous in here, but I don’t know if my parents simply shut this door and pretended I’d never even lived here, or if they decided to use it to store something dodgy, maybe in the hopes I’d come back only to be killed by my own room,” he explained.

Remus took a step back and let Sirius go in alone. A few spells ensured that nothing treacherous was hidden inside – and Remus enjoyed watching Sirius work much more than he had in the kitchen previously, when he’d known Harry was watching, too – and then Sirius turned to Remus and invited him in.

“Messer Moony, welcome to my bedroom,” Sirius couldn’t help saying, and Remus blushed again.

“Why, thank you, Messer Padfoot,” he jokingly replied.

Sirius’s bedroom was exactly how one would imagine a teenager’s bedroom to be: In complete and utter disarray. Apparently, Sirius’s first assumption had been the right one, and his parents had ignored this room as much as they always did their own flesh and blood, before and after he ran away. Everything was still exactly how Sirius had left it.

The bed was unmade, sheets and blankets were rolled up in a heap at the foot of it, and a few motorcycle magazines rested on the pillows and on the bedside table. An enormous Gryffindor flag hung on the wall behind the bed – and Remus didn’t even try to control the proud grin that bloomed on his face at the sight – and a few other Gryffindor-themed items were scattered around the room. The desk was a bit more orderly, with books and rolls of parchment piled up neatly on one side, and quills and ink on the other, but the desk chair seemed to have bowed under the weight of the T-shirts piled on it.

Many more clothes were visible through the open doors of the the wardrobe, and it broke Remus’s heart to have visible proof of the haste with which Sirius had to pack just a few belongings the day he reached his limit and saved his own life by escaping this house.

“Thoughts?” Sirius asked, after leaving Remus to peruse his old bedroom undisturbed for a few minutes.

“It’s very you.”

“I’m not sure if I should be pleased or insulted, Moons!” 

“Well, you are quite chaotic, you must admit,” Remus said, winking, and laughed at Sirius’s outraged, ‘Oi!’ “But this room also clearly belonged to someone strong, opinionated, and brave. As I said, it’s very you.”

Sirius inclined his head to hide the reddening of his face and in doing so something caught his eye. There was a small knob protruding from the side of Sirius’s desk, easily overlooked by the untrained eye but so obvious to Sirius’s that he startled, and immediately made his way there.

He pressed on the knob, and a thin compartment opened up revealing what had since then been the hiding place of a thin photo album that was so minute it could only carry up to five pictures. Sirius picked it up and opened it. The very first picture he found inside stole his breath: James Potter hugged Sirius from behind, and the two of them smiled and waved. 

Sirius was the one most visible in the picture as his whole body faced the camera; James, on the other hand, was standing behind Sirius and his arms encircled his friend’s middle while his face rested on Sirius’s shoulder. They both smiled widely and then, as if their movements had been synchronized, they waved cheerily at whomever was taking the picture. If he concentrated, Sirius could still hear the sound of James’s laughter.

A shaky breath left his mouth, and Sirius could feel tears falling down his cheeks.

“What is it, Pads?” Remus asked, worried, and made his way towards Sirius. When he saw the picture he instinctively mimicked James’s position, and hugged Sirius from behind. “It’s a beautiful picture, Sirius,” Remus whispered.

“I think… I… Monty took this one, at the Potters’ house. James asked for two copies and he gave me one. Said I could keep it with me and be reminded that there was someone who loved me, even if my own family didn’t. Looking out for me, as always, James was…” Sirius said, pained.

Remus tightened his grip on Sirius, and the two of them stared at the picture for a while. 

Understanding he needed to cajole Sirius out of his sadness somehow, Remus asked if there were other pictures in the album. “Can I see?” he requested, and Sirius nodded and turned the page.

The picture on the second page was of Remus, and Sirius instantly knew that it wouldn’t be the only one. Besides the one with James and this one, two other pictures were safely stored in the album, and both depicted Remus. Sirius could remember staring at those pictures for days on end whenever he was forced to be away from Remus.

In the picture they were currently looking at, Remus was sitting in front of the fire in the Gryffindor common room, an intense look of concentration on his face and a Divination chart spread out in front of him. Remus alternated writing in the chart and rubbing his head, and he was completely unaware that someone had been capturing him on photo.

“When… I mean, what…” Remus babbled.

“James took it as proof that at least one of us tried to hand in a legitimate chart for Divination. Figures you wouldn’t just flat out make up everything like a normal person! Nope, not our Moony. You needed to _study_,” Sirius teased.

“Yes, well, somebody had to be the responsible one,” Remus replied and, even if he couldn’t see him, he knew that Sirius had just rolled his eyes.

The page turned and another shot of Remus greeted them. He wasn’t alone this time, Padfoot was with him: Remus sat under the tree in front of the Black Lake, a book in his hand and the other lazily stroking Padfoot’s fur. The dog slept peacefully with his head on Remus’s leg.

“I spent so much time petting you I should have got paid for it,” Remus joked, a bit breathlessly.

“Shut up, you loved it,” Sirius said and turned the last page.

Remus lay on his bed in their dormitory, resting after what had quite clearly been a trying Full. His chest rose up and down with each breath, and his face was finally relaxed after the pain his body had endured. There could be no doubt as to whom had shot that particular picture.

“Sirius… I…” Remus tried to say, but Sirius abruptly shut the album, threw it back on his desk, then turned to face Remus.

“Ask, if you still need to,” Sirius said, his face just a breath away from Remus’s, and Remus’s arms still holding him.

“Why do you have all those pictures?” Remus whispered.

In lieu of an answer, Sirius kissed him gently. It was nothing more than a peck on Remus’s lips, and then Sirius stepped back and looked at him.

“Because,” he answered, cheekily.

A low growl left Remus’s throat and barely a second later he was pulling Sirius back against his body and kissing him passionately. Sirius’s mouth opened to the assault and he moaned when Remus’s tongue twined with his own. Coming up for breath, Sirius threw back his head, baring his throat to Remus who immediately started kissing and licking it.

“Ah, Moony…” Sirius gasped when Remus gently bit on his flesh.

“Mine…” Remus growled, biting Sirius again, but this time the reaction he got was different. 

Sirius stiffened and pushed Remus back, stepping away from him.

“But I’m not, am I? And you’re not mine, either,” Sirius said, angrily. “You’re _married_, Remus. To my own bloody cousin, too!”

Remus paled, as if the mention of Tonks had taken him by surprise and he was just now remembering her. 

“I… Sirius…”

“You what, you don’t care? Don’t you love her?” Sirius asked.

“Of course, I care!” Remus shouted. “She was… She helped me when I… And she’s the mother of my son. I do care. But I love… I’ve always loved… You.”

Sirius knew that this discussion was far from over, that they needed to talk about everything before they did anything else that might cause trouble or hurt people who didn’t deserve it; however, he found at the moment that he was hard pressed to care. He wanted Remus, he _loved_ Remus and apparently his love was reciprocated. As of that second, it was all that mattered.

Sirius closed the distance between them once more and locked their lips in another passionate kiss.

*

Naked on the bed of his teenage years, Sirius writhed and groaned while Remus licked and sucked his cock. 

While he hadn’t exactly been celibate in Italy, it had nonetheless taken a while for Sirius to relax enough to allow himself to be as vulnerable as one needed to be during sex. He’d stuck with going out with women for a long time since the dominant role was the one he felt more comfortable with. When he finally decided to try again with men, though not exclusively as the whole debacle with Rosa and Federico proved, Sirius still put himself in a position that allowed him to give pleasure more than receiving it.

Now, though, with Remus’s head bobbing up and down between his legs, Sirius felt safe and finally able to let go of his tight control. Most of his adolescent years were spent fantasizing about having Remus’s mouth on his cock, but nothing could truly compare to the reality of finally feeling its wet heat now.

Remus seemed to relish the taste of Sirius’s flesh and, while he sucked, he let out low, appreciative moans that sent pleasurable vibrations through Sirius’s body. 

“Yes, ah…Moony... more. Like that… please,” Sirius mumbled incoherently.

Remus kept sucking on the head of Sirius’s cock while his hand caressed the shaft, but Sirius knew he couldn’t let himself come before he felt Remus’s throat constrict around him.

“Take it all,” he pleaded, huskily. “Please, I… Please, Remus. Take it.”

“Look at me,” Remus ordered, letting Sirius’s cockhead pop out of his mouth but still keeping it close to his lips as he spoke. “Just keep your eyes on me, look while I do as you asked.”

Sirius fixed his gaze on Remus and couldn’t help the guttural grunt that started deep in his own throat as soon as his cock was completely inside Remus’s mouth. 

“Rem… ah! Remus!” 

Remus hummed and swallowed a few times, and it was too much for Sirius. Trembling all over, and unable to keep his eyes open anymore, he came with a loud scream that turned into soft whimpers when, for a moment, Remus refused to release his cock.

“Come here… ah! Remus… Merlin’s tits… Enough now. Come here and cum all over me,” Sirius demanded, and finally Remus complied.

Quickly kneeling up in between Sirius’s obscenely spread legs, Remus started stroking himself, groaning and with his eyes tightly shut.

“No… You look at me, now,” Sirius told him. “Look at me and cum on me. Mark me, Remus. Prove that I’m yours.”

Sirius’s words, and his invitation, seemed to drive Remus wild and he started masturbating frantically, eyes locked with Sirius’s, until he was spraying all over Sirius’s own cock and stomach.

Spent, Remus collapsed on top of Sirius and was instantly tightly held. 

“Can’t move…” Remus whispered directly in Sirius’s ear.

“Then don’t. Stay.”

Remus did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm only now wondering if I should have added an infidelity tag on this story. Weirdly enough, since Remus is cheating on Tonks with Sirius and not the other way around I didn't think I needed to warn for it... Consider it added starting from this chapter: INFIDELITY (NOT Remus/Sirius)
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	9. Dinner at the Lupins'

Guilt was eating at Remus and he felt as if his life had split into two separate realities.

In one of them, Remus was living a dream. He spent most of his time with Sirius, helping him clean out Grimmauld Place, sharing secret smiles with him over Harry’s head or Hermione’s or those of an infinite number of well-meaning Weasleys. He watched Sirius work, appreciating his passion and admiring his dedication, and tried not to be too obvious in his regard; then, as soon as they were left alone, Remus and Sirius abandoned every pretence and just went at one another.

So far, they’d had sex – or better yet, made love as Remus preferred to think about it – in every single one of the rooms they’d purified, including a most memorable time in Walburga’s and Orion’s old bedroom. On that occasion, Remus had been on all fours on the bed and Sirius had fucked him from behind, his weight resting on Remus’s back, his breath hot and wet in his ear, and his hand slowly working Remus’s cock to completion.

Remus had come all over Walburga’s side of the bed and, after the two of them had collapsed, sated and spent, they’d exploded into a roaring laugh when Sirius abruptly exclaimed, “Bugger! I should have let my mother out of the attic to witness this!”

In fairness, Remus could scarcely remember ever being this happy and he even experienced the best full moon he could recall since his Hogwarts days, back when he had his friends with him. Sirius offered to spend the night with him as Padfoot but Remus didn’t want to burden him and, after all, the Wolfsbane would take care of the worst of the night so he braved it alone. As it turns out, all the Healers had been right: Now that Remus had Sirius back, his good mood soothed the wolf and relaxed it too. So much so that it had fallen asleep mere minutes after turning. 

Sirius’s presence in Remus’s life shone a light on it even in the darkest of times, it seemed.

Remus’s happiness, however, had to contend with another reality, one that pressed heavily on his conscience and couldn’t be ignored: Remus had a wife, a son, a family, responsibilities. And he was neglecting them all. His absence had consequences, too, since his wife and his mother-in-law were left to pick up the slack of what should have been Remus’s duties and, most of all, Teddy was missing him and feeling abandoned. 

His wife wasn’t happy with him and she had good reason. She couldn’t know, or at least Remus hoped she didn’t, that on top of being inattentive Remus was also being unfaithful; it was possible she suspected, but as of that moment she’d only complained with him about his absence and the fact that their son, not to mention herself, were suffering from it. 

Remus felt shame so deep that for one entire week he only visited Sirius once, and so briefly that they didn’t have time to exchange more than a kiss. It broke Remus’s heart to stay away from Sirius and, in turn, that feeling sent a fresh wave of shame through him. He was a married man, he had a son who needed him, not to mention a book to write; nonetheless, everything Remus wanted nowadays was to stay in Grimmauld Place with Sirius.

The first few days Remus spent in what should have been his rightful place, Teddy was practically glued to his side; it was almost as if the boy was afraid that if he let Remus out of his sight his father would leave again. Teddy’s neediness mortified Remus and he tried with all his might to reassure the little boy; yet, when Teddy finally relaxed, convinced that his father would still be there even if he didn’t keep him close, Remus felt even worse. How would he be able to go back to Sirius now that Teddy thought things had gone back to the way they were before? How could he break his son’s trust again, leave him for hours on end, and miss his bedtimes? He simply couldn’t.

All the same, how could he stay away from Sirius for too long? It was unthinkable.

Remus knew the solution was simple and that, while a few adjustments would have to be made, once settled things would improve considerably for everyone, most especially Teddy. Remus needed to have a frank discussion with his wife, the woman he cared about but didn’t love – probably never had, not like a man should love the woman he wants to marry – and together they’d have to find a way to separate while still remaining close. Dora deserved his honesty and, Remus knew, Sirius was also waiting for him to confront the issue and make a choice.

Unfortunately, knowing which road to take was one thing; another entirely was to find the courage to walk it. 

Remus was stuck.

*

On the day Harry was scheduled to come have dinner at the Lupins’ and visit his Godson, Tonks informed Remus that she invited Sirius, too. To be fair, Harry was the one to suggest it to Tonks when he saw her at work, and for some reason she agreed. Remus was torn between feeling suspicious of her motives and overjoyed because he was going to see Sirius. Assuming he’d accept their invitation, of course.

“You owled him?” Remus asked.

“Yes, just yesterday. It took a while for him to reply, but in the end he accepted. He’s coming tonight with Harry.”

“No Ginny?”

“No,” Tonks smiled. “She’s babysitting Victoire for Bill and Fleur tonight. Date night. Ever heard of those?”

His wife’s tone was sarcastic but not mean, so Remus simply inclined his head and didn’t reply. 

“I didn’t tell Teddy about Harry coming tonight,” Tonks continued. “You know how he gets when he has something to look forward to. If he knew, he’d be asking if it’s time for Harry to arrive every five minutes!”

Remus chuckled, nodding.

“Of course, this means we can’t prepare him for the fact that Harry won’t be alone tonight,” Tonks said, then. “But it should be a nice surprise anyway. Don’t you think?”

The way she said it didn’t exactly sit well with Remus, but Tonks was smiling and she didn’t look anything other than curious while she waited for Remus’s answer, so he convinced himself he was being paranoid.

“Yes, I don’t see why it shouldn’t be,” he said, and he swore he could hear a muffled, ‘Don’t you?’ coming from Tonks, but she’d turned her back on him and he didn’t ask her to repeat herself. 

Maybe he’d imagined it. Maybe his own guilt was playing tricks on his mind and making Remus see antagonists where there weren’t any.

Maybe.

*

“Are you sure this is a good idea, Pads?” Andrew asked from the mirror. Sirius had propped it on the desk in his old bedroom, so that Andrew could see him while he got dressed for his dinner date.

“I’m positive it’s the worst idea, actually,” he replied. “But what else could I do? Harry organised everything without asking me. He somehow convinced my cousin to owl me and invite me, and I couldn’t think of anything to say to refuse! Tonks maybe wouldn’t have questioned it, but Harry? He’s not easily fooled, you know?”

Andrew sighed. “Pads… Sirius, you know perfectly well what I think of this situation. I’m not ever going to judge you, or Remus, but I can’t in good conscience sanction the way you two are behaving. I’m on your side, always, and I know you don’t have any power in this, that the decision to leave his wife should come from Remus,” Andrew paused to catch his breath, looking at Sirius who’d stopped dressing to stare at him. “Still, you’re walking a dangerous path and if you don’t stop soon and fix things, more than one heart will be broken. And Sirius, there’s a little boy involved…”

Sirius closed his eyes and lowered his head. 

“I know! Don’t you think I know? This is making me crazy. I’ve been feeling resentful towards a four year old because the man I love didn’t have time to come see me at all for a week! I hate myself for even thinking I’m in competition with Remus’s son,” Sirius said, bitterly. “And don’t even let me get started on how shitty it is to begrudge my cousin the nights she spends in bed with her husband! But I’ve missed so much, Andy… _Papà_, sometimes I feel like I’ve always lived half a life. I was alive at school, then back to being barely breathing inside this blasted house; I was alive for a few years after school, first with the Potters’ then in my own flat… And then, one day I lost everything, and there was nothing but darkness for me from then on. Until you, of course…”

“Oh, Sirius…” 

“Do I not deserve a bit of happiness, too, _papà_? Can’t I for one be selfish and just grab what I want without worrying if other people also have a claim on it? Why do I always have to be shut away in the dark and only come out of it every once in a while?”

Sirius’s voice broke and his eyes filled with tears.

“_Figlio mio_,” Andrew said. “You deserve everything! Everything good in the world should be yours for the taking. And I’m not asking you to give Remus up, far from it! I’m pleading with you to talk to him and tell him how you feel. Stop just hinting at it and flat out ask him to choose. I know, I’m sure that he will choose you – though, Sirius, you will _always_ have to share him with his son, I know you know this. But, whatever Remus’s decision, it needs to happen soon. You have to insist upon it, push him to decide and stick with it. You do _not_ deserve to live half a life, and at the same time his wife and son do not deserve to be left in limbo.”

“_Ho paura, papà_,” Sirius expressed how scared he was in Italian.

“_Lo so_, but it needs to be done. Leaving things as they are now won’t be possible for too long, anymore. You go to your dinner tonight, try to enjoy yourself, and then request to speak with Remus tomorrow if he can spare the time. You know it needs to happen and the sooner you confront this the better. Whatever the outcome, I will always be here to support you, _figliolo_.”

Sirius tried to find a smile for his dad, thanked him and said his goodbyes; then he finished dressing and waited for Harry to arrive so they could go to the Lupins’ together.

Only one thing kept Sirius standing: Tonight he would see Remus.

*  
Teddy caught wind that somebody was coming for dinner when he saw his dad preparing the table with five tops, and was currently buzzing with excitement. Remus smiled indulgently at his enthusiasm and secretly shared it. He missed Sirius like a limb and couldn’t wait to clap eyes on him again. The week without Sirius seemed empty and endless, Remus instinctively thought, grimacing at the stab of mortification he immediately felt: Staying with his family should not be considered as such… his son was not a chore!

The crack of apparition could be heard outside the door and Teddy shouted and ran to open it, Remus and Tonks just behind him.

“Harry!” Teddy yelled, launching in his Godfather’s arms.

“Hey, little guy,” Harry greeted, smiling and tickling Teddy. The kid laughed and his face puffed up to resemble that of a tiny white rabbit, teeth and all. “How are you?”

“Good!” Teddy replied, and Harry put him down on the ground.

“Here, Teddy,” Harry said, then, “There’s someone I want you to meet. You know how I am your Godfather? Well, this man is my own. Meet Sirius.”

Teddy looked at the man that was smiling down at him from his position at Harry’s side and frowned.

“Hello again, Teddy,” Sirius said, gently. “We met once in Diagon Alley, already, remember?”

Teddy’s little face darkened, and so did his hair. “Yes,” was all he said, then he turned around and went back inside the house.

Both Harry and Sirius were surprised by the kid’s reaction and looked up at Remus and Tonks for an explanation. Remus looked just as shocked but Tonks’s face didn’t betray any sort of feeling.

“Hello, Harry. Sirius,” Tonks greeted them. “Come in, dinner’s almost ready,” she said, turning and going back into the house.

“Okay,” Harry said, after Tonks disappeared inside. “What just happened?”

“Harry,” Sirius asked. “Would you mind going inside and letting me speak to Remus alone for a moment, please?” 

With a last look that let them know Harry was not finished, he went inside and left them to talk.

“Would it be better if I just went home?” Sirius asked.

“What? No! You just got here! I don’t… I have no idea what happened with Teddy but whatever it is, it can be fixed. You don’t have to go. I don’t want you to…”

“Remus, we…” Sirius started, but Tonks called them from the kitchen window to tell them that dinner was served, and Remus invited Sirius in.

“Been a while since I was here last,” Sirius said, as soon as he entered the cottage he remembered from his teenage years.

“Hasn’t changed much, has it?” Remus asked, smiling.

“Hasn’t changed at all! It’s bloody reassuring, mate,” Sirius laughed, and Remus joined him.

Together they made their way to the kitchen and towards the table. With a stab of disappointment, Remus realised that, with the others already seated, there was no way Remus would be able to sit beside Sirius. He had quite obviously been reserved the place between his wife and his son, while Sirius sat on the other side of his wife on the seat near Harry.

“Smells delicious, Tonks,” Sirius complimented, smiling, and Harry agreed.

“Thank you,” she replied, “Come on, dig in, then. Let’s see if it tastes delicious, too.”

They started eating and everyone complimented Tonks’s cooking again.

“Remus tells me you’ve become quite the chef, Sirius,” Tonks said, after a few bites.

“I dabble,” Sirius replied.

“You do more than that!” Harry exclaimed. “Gah, dinner the other night was finger-licking good. What was it you called it in Italian? _Parmigiana di melanzane_?” 

Smiling at Harry’s bad accent, Sirius nodded. “Yes, it’s a dish made with sliced eggplants that get pan fried in oil, then layered with tomato sauce and mozzarella cheese, covered with _parmigiano_ cheese, and baked in the oven. Andrew’s favourite,” Sirius explained.

“My new favourite, too,” Harry said. “Ginny wants you to bake some more next time we come for dinner, by the way.”

Sirius grinned.

“Sounds wonderful,” Tonks commented.

“It is! You should come for dinner, too, the next time Sirius prepares some,” Harry invited. 

In a way, Sirius loved that Harry felt so at ease with him, so like family to him, that he took the liberty of inviting people over to Sirius’s house for dinner and volunteering him to cook a time-consuming dish. On the other hand, though, sometimes Sirius wished Harry wouldn’t.

“Of course,” Sirius graciously replied, nonetheless. “After all, you did miss a taste the first time, Remus.”

Remus smiled and was about to reply but Teddy beat him to the punch.

“My dad was here _wiv_ me and mummy,” the boy said, grimly. 

“And so he should have been,” Sirius smiled. “There’s always next time.”

“_Nest_ time daddy will still be here. _Wight_, daddy?” Teddy asked, addressing his father but still glaring at Sirius.

“I will always be with you, Teddy,” Remus replied, surprised by his son’s harshness, “but it doesn’t mean I can’t eat dinner out, does it?”

“Not _wiv_ him!” Teddy shouted, firmly.

“Use your inside voice, Teddy,” Tonks reprimanded his son.

“What’s the meaning of this, Teddy?” Remus asked, then.

“He takes you away. He made mummy sad in _Dagonally_, and you don’t read my stories _wiv_ me in bed when you _wiv_ him!” Teddy explained, upset and angry. “Me don’t likes him!”

Tonks placed her knife and fork back on her plate and simply looked at Remus, waiting for him to address their son’s complaints.

“That’s not fair, Teddy,” Remus started. “I…”

“I’m sorry, Teddy, you’re quite right,” Sirius interrupted, and every single eye turned on him. Teddy fixed him with another glare but waited for Sirius to say more. “I have been away for a long time, you see, and missed a lot. Your dad and I have been friends since we were children and so when I found him again I’m afraid I thought only of the joy I felt in having my friend back. I’m sorry I didn’t think that you, and your mum, also needed him with you. It’s my fault, and I apologize.”

Sirius spoke to Teddy like the child was an adult and it seemed to do the trick. The kid quite clearly wouldn’t have taken to being patronized on top of everything else and, when he felt addressed as an equal, he instantly relaxed.

“Okay,” Teddy said, glare softening. “You _dinna_ know. You know now. So you stop?”

“I will,” Sirius promised. “I might want to see your dad from time to time, if you don’t mind, but I will never keep him for too long, okay?”

Teddy seemed to consider his request. “Okay,” he said, after a while, then simply nodded to his parents and started eating again.

Harry hid a giggle in his napkin and Sirius smiled too, if a bit tightly. A light of respect shone in Tonks’s eyes when she looked at Sirius and she also resumed eating, but she couldn’t help sending a small glare of her own at her husband, who had since then remained silent.

Remus felt paralyzed. For some reason he never thought that Teddy would resent Sirius for his own behaviour. He was so sure that his son would adore Sirius on the spot, kids usually seemed to, and Teddy’s reaction took Remus completely off guard. Furthermore, Sirius had to take care of the situation by promising something that Remus himself never would have… Teddy was his son, Remus loved him immensely, and yet he couldn’t be sure he would have sworn to spend less time with Sirius, not even for Teddy.

He was failing everyone, Remus thought, mechanically bringing food to his mouth and swallowing it without tasting anything. If he didn’t get his shit together soon, Remus would lose everything. 

And it would be completely his fault.

*

Tonks was putting Teddy to bed, her goodbyes already said, and the kid had even nodded goodbye to Sirius before going to his room. Harry was already outside waiting for Sirius, and Remus once more found himself alone with the man he loved.

“I’m so sorry,” he said, lowering his head.

"For what?” 

“Teddy. And also…” Remus tried and failed to explain.

“We need to talk, wouldn’t you agree?” Sirius asked then and, after Remus nodded, he continued, “if Teddy allows it, will you come to Grimmauld Place tomorrow?”

“Yes,” Remus replied, immediately.

Sirius nodded. “Need to go now. Harry’s waiting,” he said, and grabbed Remus’s arm. “Goodnight, Moony.”

Remus wanted really badly to kiss him but his wife and son were only two rooms away and he couldn’t. He hated this so much.

“Goodnight, Padfoot,” he said instead, and didn’t go outside to watch Sirius and Harry disapparate.

It was time to choose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Figlio mio = My son  
Ho paura, papà = I’m scared, dad  
Lo so = I know  
Figliolo = Little son
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	10. Fears and Doubts

The following day, Harry apparated in Grimmauld Place barely five minutes after Remus himself had. 

“Sirius! Sirius!” He yelled, and Sirius ran out of the study where he and Remus were about to sit and have tea.

“Harry? Merlin’s backside, is something wrong?” Sirius asked, worried.

“Yes… No… I don’t…” Harry babbled, hands in his hair.

“Alright, let’s just…” Sirius gestured towards the study, “Get in and tell me what’s happened.”

Harry moved towards the door, passing Remus. “Sorry, Remus,” he said, walking in. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“Not at all, Harry,” Remus replied. “Here, let’s sit. Sirius just made tea.”

They sat at the table and sipped their tea in silence for a few moments before Sirius had enough.

“Right, out with it before I get any more worried,” he requested, looking at Harry.

The boy cleared his throat. “Yesterday night, after we had dinner at Remus’s and Tonks’s, I got home and Ginny was back. She… Bugger, this is… She said…” Harry fidgeted with his glasses and then, abruptly, changed course. “Did I tell you Ginny was contacted by the Holyhead Harpies? They want her to try out for the Seeker position.”

“The Harpies?” Sirius shouted, impressed. “The bloody Harpies?! That’s brilliant, that is! That girl… There’s just no one better, is there?”

“Sirius…” Remus tried, unsure if Sirius’s enthusiasm might be misplaced.

“What? It’s the _Harpies_, Remus!” Sirius replied, grinning from ear to ear.

Remus chanced a glance at Harry and could see him smiling widely, too. Maybe Sirius’s reaction was exactly what Harry needed to relax and finally spill the beans.

“‘S great, isn’t it?” Harry said, and Sirius high-fived him.

“Wait a minute,” Sirius finally seemed to remember that Harry hadn’t exactly been jumping up and down when he’d first arrived. “Why the long face, then?”

Harry sighed. “Yesterday night I came home and Ginny was sitting there in the dark. She missed her period and she… She thinks she might be pregnant,” Harry finally revealed.

“Oh. Oh, that’s… Uhm… Well, that’s… Good?” Sirius tried, looking at Remus for support. 

Remus shrugged, at a loss. “Is Ginny sure, Harry?” 

“No, she… She’s just now going to St. Mungo’s for a visit.”

“And you’re not with her?” Remus wondered.

“She wanted to go alone. She said that my presence would attract more attention than she wants at this time, and she’d rather do this alone than have it become public knowledge before we know if there is something to share with the public. Or with her mother…” Harry explained, shuddering.

Sirius winced. “Sorry, kid.”

“Yeah… Sucks to be famous,” Harry commiserated, and Sirius nodded. “But at least I can be here and have my freak out away from her.”

“Freaking out, are you?” Sirius asked. 

“Well, yeah! I just started working for the Auror corp, and I wanted to focus on my career now! And Ginny… As you said, it’s the bloody Harpies! She can’t let this chance pass her by and I don’t want her to miss it. I do want children, and a family of my own, we both do… But now? We’re just… It’s just too soon,” Harry said, worried.

“I understand all that, and I agree,” Sirius said. “But how do you feel, how do you really feel about the possibility of becoming a father?”

Harry stared at him, then turned to Remus. “How am I supposed to feel? Can you tell me, Remus? Because right now, I… I’m not…” Harry trailed off.

Taking a deep breath, Remus begun, “Well, as you know better than anyone in the world, Harry, I didn’t exactly behave in the most mature of ways when I found out Dora and I were expecting Teddy.”

“You didn’t?” Sirius interjected, curious and surprised.

“No,” Remus smiled. “Quite the contrary, really. I thought… The child of a werewolf, you see. And you know, Pads, just how much I feared passing my curse onto an innocent,” Remus said, watching Sirius nod as he remembered countless discussions about the chance of Remus fathering a child after Harry was born. "Plus, we were in the middle of fighting a war and I just… Well, let’s just say I tried to take the coward way out while masking it as bravery. True Gryffindor, I am. Harry here was the one to beat some sense into me, and he sent me back to my duties with my tail between my legs.”

Harry smiled, softly. “Felt so guilty about the way I spoke to you, Remus…” he revealed.

“No. No, you were right and I still thank you for that,” Remus smiled. “That said, I cannot tell you how you _should_ feel, Harry. Nobody can. We all react to these things differently, I believe. It’s okay to be overjoyed from the get go, and it’s also okay to be scared at the beginning before joy takes over. Look at me, I ran away like a chicken at first and now I could never imagine my life without Teddy.”

Harry nodded. “I don’t know how I feel. I’m scared, yes, and worried; I’m also a bit pissed off at myself for that and for not being more careful to begin with. But I don’t even know for sure if there _is_ a baby, yet, so a part of me maybe doesn’t even want to get excited at the prospect because… What if there’s nothing to be happy about?”

“That’s all pretty understandable, and smart, Harry,” Sirius said.

“Yes, I agree. That’s pretty much a normal reaction,” Remus concurred. “I understand being scared, and you are both so young, too. But Harry, let me tell you, if Ginny really is expecting your first child I’m sure you’ll be a spectacular father.”

Sirius nodded his assent, and Harry blushed.

“I don’t know… I…”

“You will be, Harry,” Remus reassured. “A child changes your life in ways you can never imagine. And yes, some of them require sacrifice, loss of sleep, and many, many headaches; but many more will just bring such joy that you won’t ever be able to see yourself without it again.”

Harry and Sirius both listened intently to Remus, though Harry was enthralled and in need of reassurance while Sirius was both interested and crushed by Remus’s words.

“A child of your own will give your life a whole different meaning,” Remus continued. “He, or she, will not only depend on you but will also teach you so much about yourself. Your child will become the centre of your existence, the most important being and someone you could never even think of disappointing. You will be made better by their presence in your life, and the man you will become because of them will make you proud. There won’t be one single moment when your child won’t be in your thoughts, and you will do whatever it’s in your power to do to always deserve their unconditional love.”

Harry got up and went to hug Remus after he finished speaking, and both of them had tears in their eyes. Sirius, on the other hand, remained seated. He was frozen and at the same time he felt as if everything was spinning out of control around him. 

Teddy was the most important person in Remus’s life and Sirius instantly knew that, had that not been the case, had Remus been a man capable of abandoning his child without a second thought, Sirius could never have loved him as much as he did.

Teddy came first, he deserved to, it was his right, and Remus loved him with his entire heart. What did this mean for Sirius, though? The child might have thawed a smidge towards him but he definitely wasn’t Sirius’s biggest fan, and there was no way Sirius would ever think of putting himself between Remus and his son. It was one thing for Sirius to demand that Remus finally speak with Tonks and break things off with her, but to place him in a position of having to leave Teddy behind in order to be with Sirius? Never. It was never going to be a viable option.

Where did that leave them?

“Sirius?” Remus called, a touch of worry in his voice.

“Hmm… Yes,” Sirius forced himself to speak. “That was quite the speech, Moony,” he said. “Just what Harry needed to hear, I’m sure.”

Remus cocked his head at Sirius’s tone but, before he could speak, Hedwig flew in from an open window and delivered a note to Harry. He hastily opened it, caressing Hedwig’s back, and then looked up at Sirius.

“It’s from Ginny. She’s done with her examination and wants me to come home so we can talk,” he said, nervously.

Sirius rose and went to hug Harry. 

“It will be alright,” he said, reassuringly. Then, suddenly overwhelmed with affection, Sirius repeated to Harry the same words Andrew, his chosen father, said to him just the day before. “Whatever the outcome, I will always be here to support you.”

Harry clung to him, nodding on Sirius’s shoulder. 

“Thank you,” he said, stepping back and righting his glasses. 

Sirius smiled, encouragingly.

“Let us know what Ginny says, okay, Harry?” Remus requested.

Nodding one last time, Harry told Hedwig to fly back home and swiftly disapparated.

Alone with Remus, Sirius gathered the mugs and the teapot on a tray and made for the kitchen. Remus followed him in silence and only spoke when they arrived downstairs.

“He’ll be alright,” Remus said. “They both will.”

“Yes,” Sirius agreed. “But what about us?”

“Us? I don’t… What do you mean?”

“Teddy needs you, Remus. He’s such a bright, lively kid, and he obviously loves you very much. What are we doing here? How can I keep hounding all your time when you should be with him?” Sirius asked, pained.

“You’re not! You’re not, Sirius… I want to be here. I want to be with you, I’m choosing this,” Remus said. “Teddy… I know I’ve been neglecting him lately and I hate myself for it. But things will be different now. You were so good with him yesterday and he understands…”

“Does he?” Sirius interrupted. “Do you, even? Because I’m not sure I do. Your boy dislikes me, Remus… No, don’t even try to deny it. He told me that himself, you were there! And the worst of it? He’s got cause. I _am_ stealing you away from his mother, and I _did_ keep you from spending time with him. How can we ignore his feelings, the ones you yourself said need to come before everything else, just because we want to shag ourselves silly every time we see each other?”

“That’s not what this is!” Remus corrected, panicked. “I’m not just here for a shag, Sirius! I love you… I’ve loved you since I was fifteen years old. Maybe longer. Are you trying to tell me I need to choose one love over the other?”

“No! That’s exactly what I’m saying can’t happen here!” Sirius yelled. “Don’t you see that? I don’t want to be in the way. Your son is more important than me, he’s the one that gives meaning to your life… You just said so yourself!”

“That wasn’t… Bloody hell, Sirius, is that what you took away from the speech I gave to Harry? I am not defined by just one thing, one important relation, in my life! Nobody is. We are all of us shaped by the relationships we cultivate, both the good ones and the bad. Every person we have feelings for plays a pivotal role in our existence and they’re all equally as important in their different way. Teddy is my sun, yes, and you’re my star… As sappy and idiotically mushy as that sounds, it perfectly represents my reality. The trick is finding a way to let them co-exist, not giving one up for the other!”

While he spoke, Remus walked towards Sirius and gathered him in his arms. Sirius allowed himself to be held but didn’t return the embrace.

“Sirius, please,” Remus continued. “I know this is all my fault, that I should have been honest from the first time we slept together and talked to Dora. Part of me wanted to, immediately, but another part… maybe a bigger one… was afraid to disrupt the status quo and make a mess of things. I just got you back and re-connecting with you seemed more important than defining my marital status. Of course, I was wrong, I see that now… I think I always did. But I can fix it. I _will_ fix it! Today, right now, I’ll fix it. Please…”

Sirius sighed, pressed his head on Remus’s chest for a moment, then took a step back.

“I need time to think,” he said, and Remus paled.

“You can think out loud, with me here, so that I can answer any question you might have and we can find a solution together. Please…”

“Alone, I… I need to be alone, Moony. I’m not… Look, I’m not going to decide anything without talking to you first, okay? I wouldn’t. But I need time to… What you said about Teddy, the way he changed your life, changed you… And the fact that he doesn’t like me… I need to… I just…” Sirius trailed off.

“He’s a kid and he doesn’t know better, Sirius! I’ve been inattentive, I’ve neglected him and my duties towards him, and he loves me so he doesn’t want to be angry at me because of it. It’s normal for him to blame you for that, Sirius, but he doesn’t know you! Merlin, did you see how easy it was for you to swing him your way at dinner yesterday? He started out basically forbidding you to ever see me again, and after you spoke to him he completely changed his tune!” Remus recalled, passionately.

“And what happens when you, as you say you want to do now, talk to his mother and ask for a divorce? Who exactly do you think Teddy is going to blame for it? And he’d be right! It is my fault! It’s me…”

“It’s not you!” Remus repeated. “I’m the one leaving his mother, I’m the one in love with someone else, and I am the one choosing to break off our marriage. Still, this does not mean I’m breaking off my family, too, because I will never be away from Teddy’s life; Dora’s, too, if she allows it. Things will be difficult for a while, yes. We will all need to adjust but with time, patience, and love, Teddy will come to understand. And then he will get to know you and I’m sure he’ll love you soon enough.”

“I don’t know… I just don’t know, Remus,” Sirius said, pained. “I don’t think you need me around while you’re sorting out your own life…”

“What the bloody hell are you going on about?” Remus all but yelled. “Of course, I need you! I’ve always needed you! I just got you back, for Godric’s sake. Why are you being like this? You’ve never been a coward, Sirius. Why aren’t you willing to fight for this? For me?”

Eyes sparkling, Sirius raged. “I’m not willing to fight? Is that what you think? Do you even have any idea…”

“Apparently, I don’t,” Remus interrupted, just as angrily. “Why don’t you explain, then?”

“I want to be selfish,” Sirius growled. “I want to take what I desire and to hell with anyone else. I’ve been denied even the slightest kindness for bloody ages, and now I want to say I’m entitled to just hold out my hand and grab anything I want. Do you have any idea how conflicted that makes me feel when it comes to you? You’re _mine_, Remus, and why shouldn’t I get to keep you? Why do I have to lay in bed at night, alone, knowing you’re lying next to my cousin?”

Remus’s face paled in shame. “I’m so sorry, Sirius… I didn’t realise…”

“I didn’t want to have to ask you to put an end to the duplicity and choose a side! I didn’t think it should be my responsibility, nor within my rights, to come up and tell you to leave your wife and be with me in the open… But I still gave you hint after hint and, when you didn’t seem to catch on, I resigned myself to simply wait for you to be ready…” Sirius said, dolefully. 

“Merlin, Pads… I… I never meant to hurt you… I’m sorry…”

“I know that! But don’t you see? I couldn’t have all of you, though I wanted to, yet I still took every bit of your time and didn’t care about your wife or your son! Do you know I was glad when you forgot Teddy’s bedtime to stay with me? I was glad! You’d just disappointed a child, _your_ child, who loves you and whom you adore, and I was happy about it,” Sirius revealed, hands in his hair.

“You were not the only one, Sirius…” Remus said, his voice but a whisper. “It shames me to admit it, but I’ve also been quite selfish when it comes to you.”

Sirius nodded, “Then do you see now why we need to think about this? Do you understand why I need to take myself out of the equation and let you sort things out without worrying about my feelings? Teddy’s feelings are what matters now, they’re all that matters. And Tonks… I’m so jealous of her I could spit fire, but I care about her too, and what we’re doing… What I’m doing to her is wrong. Let me go, Remus, leave me alone to think. Please. I’m not saying forever, and I won’t deny we need to talk more about all this. But not now… not today… not like this.”

Shoulders caving like they carried the weight of the world on them, Remus lowered his head and nodded.

“Fine, I’ll go,” he said, a world of pain in his voice. “I will talk to Dora and make things right. And then I will speak with Teddy too, with Dora’s help, and find a way to make him understand. I’ll think only of him, not you or myself, and when he’s settled and secure in the knowledge that my love for him will never change, I will be back.”

Remus went to Sirius and put his hands on his shoulders. “I will be back, Sirius. And we’ll talk. I won’t lose you. I. Will. Not. Lose. You!” He punctuated every word with a shake of Sirius’s frame, and then, almost as if unable to stop himself, he pulled Sirius against him and kissed him forcefully.

Sirius returned the kiss just as hungrily, and they clung to one another breathing heavily.

“I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you,” Remus repeated over and over once he finally released Sirius’s mouth, and Sirius nodded, staring at Remus with naked distress.

“I’ll be in touch,” were Remus’s parting words and then, with one last look at Sirius’s devastated face, he disapparated.

Alone, Sirius collapsed on a chair and started sobbing. His heart felt like it had been ripped off his chest and yet he knew he did the right thing. Teddy was more important than whatever Sirius wanted and it didn’t matter how much it hurt.

Sirius sat there for a long time, unwilling to move, and the silence in the house was only broken when Harry’s voice came from the fireplace.

“Sirius?” 

“What? Oh, hello Harry,” Sirius answered, hastily wiping the tears from his face. 

“Are you okay?” Harry asked, but Sirius waved his concern away.

“Never mind that, how are you? What did Ginny say?”

“‘T was a false alarm,” Harry revealed. “She’s not pregnant.”

“Okay… And are we happy or sad about it?” Sirius asked, cautiously, and Harry chuckled.

“Honestly? Bit of both. But mostly relieved, I’d say. We would have welcomed it, but we’re not exactly ready.”

Sirius nodded his agreement. 

“Is Remus still there?” Harry asked, then.

“No, he… He had to go back home.”

“Okay. Only, I promised I’d let him know too, so maybe I should floo him now,” Harry mused.

“Uhm, actually,” Sirius said. “Maybe just owl him. Something tells me he might be a bit preoccupied at the moment.”

“Alright,” Harry acquiesced. “Are you sure you’re okay, Sirius?”

“I’m fine. Give my best to Ginny, and tell her I’ll want to know all about the Harpies after her try-out, okay?” Sirius smiled.

“Will do. See you tomorrow?” 

Sirius nodded in agreement. 

And then he was alone again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know when I said this was one of those Everyone Lives AU? Well, everyone includes Hedwig apparently. Not at all sorry... LOL! It truly means everyone... except Ted Tonks, not sure why but I never save him. Ah well.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	11. Conversations

One second after he left Sirius, Remus apparated home only to find it empty. His wife and his son were visiting Andromeda that day, so Remus sent a Patronus there to ask Tonks if she could leave Teddy with her mother and come back alone. 

“I need to talk to you. It’s important,” Remus relayed to the wolf and watched it leave his side to find his wife.

While he waited, he went to the kitchen to prepare some tea – the cup he drank at Sirius’s so distant a memory it might as well have happened in a different timeline – then sat down to wait for Tonks.

It didn’t take long for her to apparate in the cottage and Remus steeled himself for what was to come.

“Remus?”

“In here,” Remus called from the kitchen. “Tea?” He offered as soon as Tonks entered.

She nodded and sat at the table, waiting for her husband to bring her a mug.

“Something the matter?” She asked when Remus returned to the table.

“Yes, I… We need to talk, and I think you know that this conversation is long overdue.”

“Is it Sirius?” Tonks asked. 

Remus shook his head. “It’s me. I want it to be clear, Dora. This is not because of anyone else but me. You, Teddy, and yes even Sirius, you’re all involved of course, but the responsibility for our situation rests solely on my shoulders.”

“Our situation? Yours and mine, you mean? Or yours and Sirius’s?” Tonks asked, sarcastically.

“Either. Both. And then some,” Remus replied, not shying away from the discussion. “I should have come to you a while ago, Dora, and the fact that I didn’t, that I was a coward and let things simmer and stir, has been weighing on me. It stops now.”

“Come to me to tell me what, Remus?”

“I’ve been increasingly absent from your life and Teddy’s, and I know you both have suffered from it. I am more sorry than I could ever express and I want to make amends any way you’ll allow me to. I adore Teddy, he’s my life… You know that, don’t you?” Remus asked.

“Of course, I do. That has never been in question.”

“Good, I… Good. I also care a great deal for you, Dora, and I never meant to hurt you. Never. If you don’t believe anything else tonight, please believe this.”

Tonks cocked her head, “I’m not sure I understand where you’re going with this, Remus. Will you please just cut to the chase?”

Taking a deep breath and then slowly releasing it, Remus continued, “I’ve been looking for Sirius for years, Dora, and you’ve seen what my constant failure did to me; you know how badly I felt when I couldn’t find him and bring him home, and how my health was suffering from it. When I finally got him back, I just… I suppose I only thought about grabbing him and holding him close. I made him the centre of my universe, and unwittingly pushed Teddy and you to the side. It will never happen again with Teddy, this I swear to you, but…” his voice failed him and Remus trailed off.

“But you can’t promise the same for me, can you?” Tonks asked, her face rock hard.

“I love him,” Remus said, unable to keep it inside anymore. “I’ve loved Sirius since our Hogwarts days, and I never stopped. Now that I have him back, I realised I can’t be without him anymore… and he feels the same. I behaved badly with you, Dora, and I will never be able to apologize enough for that. It needs to stop. You need to know the truth and we need to find a way to get past this. I care so much for you and I truly couldn’t imagine my life without you in it. Hell, I probably wouldn’t even have a life if you hadn’t taken me under your wing and given me a purpose. I…”

“You want us to divorce,” Tonks deadpanned. “That it? You’re grateful to me, you _care_, but you want me to set you free so you can run to Sirius. Is that it, Remus?”

“This is not about Sirius,” Remus reiterated, more and more aware of how right Sirius’s decision to put some distance between them was. “Even if he didn’t want anything to do with me, I would still be here to tell you that our life together can’t go on. I want you to still be in my life, your role in it is not in question and it never will be. Only, not as my wife. I love you, but not like a husband should love his wife. I’m not saying my feelings for Sirius have no place in this, of course they do, but it’s the different kind of love that I feel for _you_ that’s driving me to this decision now. Do you see that?”

Placing her mug on the table, Tonks got up and paced the kitchen for a while.

“Did you sleep with him?” She asked abruptly, turning to stare at Remus.

“Dora…”

“Did you?”

“I’m sorry…” Remus admitted, head down.

“I knew it!” Tonks shouted. “Sometimes you didn’t come home until the early morning, and I knew you’d been shagging him. I just didn’t want to accept it… But of course I knew.”

“I behaved abominably towards you, Dora, and you didn’t deserve it. I should have come to you, admitted my guilt, and accepted your decision immediately. But I was a bloody coward and ended up hurting everyone. Once again, I’m so sorry…” Remus uttered.

“I can’t… do this right now,” Tonks said. “I need some time to think about this.”

“Dora, I…”

“No, Remus. Not now. I’m packing a bag for myself and Teddy, and we’ll be staying at mum’s for the moment. I expect you to call on Teddy frequently so that he doesn’t feel abandoned by his father _again_. But we’re not talking about this until I’m well and ready, you understand?” Tonks finished, glaring.

Remus simply nodded, knowing she had every right to act like she was, and stayed in the kitchen while Tonks prepared her bags.

“I will see you tomorrow,” she informed Remus before leaving. “You’ll come see Teddy after lunch and you’ll spend the afternoon with him. Okay?”

“Yes,” Remus agreed. “Thank you.”

“Shut up, Remus,” was Tonks’s parting shot, and then she was gone.

*

One whole hour after saying goodbye to Harry, Sirius finally left the kitchen where he’d sat in darkness and silence and went to his bedroom to call Andy.

“_Papà_?”

“I’m here, Pads,” Andrew’s smiling face appeared in the mirror. The smile died as soon as he could see Sirius’s devastated face. “_Per la barba di Merlino_, what’s happened?”

Eyes red and puffy after crying so much, Sirius told Andrew everything. His voice sounded hoarse and rough while he related how Harry and Ginny had a pregnancy scare, how Remus comforted Harry by telling him how pivotal a child’s role is in a parent’s life, and how Sirius had felt like the worst kind of person for stealing away Teddy’s dad and making him forget his duties.

“That’s not on you, Sirius,” Andrew told him, gently. “Teddy is Remus’s son and his responsibility. Now, I’m not saying I don’t understand how Remus would want to spend all his time with you after the years you two lost, or that I don’t see how he didn’t find himself in an easy position, but if Teddy felt neglected that’s on Remus. He should have been able to find a way not to leave either of you behind.”

“I was happy, though. When he stayed with me all night, when he didn’t go home to dine with his family, when he told me he never wanted to leave me... I was happy. I didn’t think about Teddy. And yes, he’s Remus’s responsibility but what does that make me? Stealing my cousin’s husband, making him cheat on her, that was bad enough. But keeping Remus when he should have been with his son? How could I do that?” Sirius asked, desperately.

“My boy, you need to cut yourself some slack here. First off, you don’t make someone cheat on their spouse. They do it themselves.” Andrew said, resolutely. Then, voice softening, he continued, “Sirius… Everything you’ve been through, the memories you lost and only recently were able to put together again, all you’ve suffered… Of course you now clung to every bit of happiness you found! It doesn’t make you a monster, it makes you human! Now, if you’d realised what you were costing Teddy and still kept on hounding all of Remus’s time, maybe even requesting that he spent it with you and you alone, then your behaviour would be inexcusable,” Andrew said, forcefully. “But look at you! You’ve just sent Remus away to deal with his wife and son, and you cut yourself off from him so that they can come first. As soon as you came back to Earth after enjoying your newfound closeness to Remus – as you well should have – you took a step back, even if it hurt! I’m proud of you, _figliolo_.”

“Part of me wanted him to refuse, you know?” Sirius confessed. “I wanted Remus to tell me that he wasn’t going anywhere, that _we_ came first, and to hell with everything else. Yet, if he had… He wouldn’t be my Moony, would he?”

“No, he wouldn’t. But, Sirius, in a way he did do that. In order to be able to tell you without hesitation that the two of you will be together, he first needed to speak with his wife. He will not leave your side again once he’s free to do so. And together you will find a place for Teddy in your lives, too.”

Sirius nodded.

“I know it hurts and the next few days, weeks even, will be hard. But things will get better and stay that way. I’m sure of it, Sirius.”

“_Grazie, papà_,” Sirius said, chancing a small smile. 

Andrew waved away his gratitude and tried for a joke. “At least now I know you will keep working on the house without distractions!”

“Slave driver,” Sirius accused, laughing.

*

The following day, right after lunch, Remus apparated outside of Andromeda’s house and knocked on the door. Usually he would just apparate inside but he wasn’t sure he had the right to do so anymore.

Andromeda opened the door and, with a nod, invited him in.

“Hello, Andromeda,” Remus greeted, softly.

“Remus,” she answered, without smiling.

“Is Teddy…”

“Daddy!” Teddy’s enthusiastic greeting interrupted Remus, and he bent down to pick his son up.

“Hello, you. Did you and mum have fun with Nana last night?”

Lending half an ear to his son’s tale of the previous night, Remus caught Tonks’s eyes and nodded at her.

“Teddy,” Tonks said, interrupting her son’s tirade. “Nana and I are going out for a while. You stay with your dad and we’ll be back soon, okay?”

“Okay, mummy,” Teddy agreed with a smile and, together, he and Remus watched the women of their lives apparate away.

Remus helped Teddy with his colouring book for a while and then his son surprised him with a question.

“Daddy, what’s _divorsy_?”

“Div… Uh, do you mean divorce, Teddy?” Remus asked, puzzled.

“Uh huh,” Teddy nodded. “_Whassat_?”

Knowing how much his son loved to eavesdrop, Remus understood that his wife and Andromeda must have been discussing the situation together the night before. Put on a spot but not wanting to ignore a legitimate question from his son, Remus decided to try and explain. Dora could add her own input at a later time.

“Well, you see, Teddy, there’s many kinds of love and sometimes one love can also turn into another. When you realise it’s happened to you and you know that the way you love someone has changed, you need to change the way you and that person are together. Divorce happens when a mum and a dad understand they love one another in a different way, and because of that they stop living together. They don’t stop loving each other, and they will never stop loving their children, of course. They just decide to be together differently,” Remus explained.

“_Issat_ why mummy says we staying at Nana’s for now?” Teddy asked.

“Oh. Uhm, I… Look, Teddy, I want to answer all your questions but I really do think that we need to wait for mummy to be here, too. Okay?” 

One thing was abstractly explaining to Teddy what divorce meant, but to go into details that pertained their own personal situation without Tonks wasn’t something Remus was okay with. Both of Teddy’s parents needed to be present for that discussion.

Teddy seemed to accept his father’s decision, and the two of them resumed their colouring.

*

While Remus was navigating difficult waters with his son, Sirius wasn’t faring all that better trying to avoid Harry’s enquiries.

As promised, Harry went to Grimmauld Place to spend time with Sirius and help out with his work, and the very first thing he asked was,

“When’s Remus getting here? I thought I’d find him already neck deep into some armoire or other!”

Sirius tried to derail the conversation by simply saying that Remus was needed at home more and wouldn’t be coming around for a while, but Harry wasn’t having it.

“Did something happen between you two?” 

“No, nothing,” Sirius replied. “Wait, don’t touch that pocket knife, Harry. Let me see to it first.”

Harry stepped back and watched Sirius work for a moment before trying again.

“Only, Remus couldn’t seem able to stay away for more than a few hours in the beginning, and now he’s never here anymore. Also, what was it with Teddy the other night? Why was he so rude to you?” 

“He wasn’t rude,” Sirius defended. “I’ve been appropriating all of his father’s free time and Teddy felt righteously angry about that. ‘S why Remus is there now. Teddy comes first.”

Harry nodded. “Yes, of course, but how does one go from ‘Teddy comes first’ to ‘I’ll never see Sirius again’? That’s what I don’t understand. I get cutting on the time he spends here, but why isn’t Remus even popping in for a chat anymore?”

“Look, Harry, we’ve work to do,” Sirius tried. “Why don’t we just get on with it?”

“Right, now I’m seriously worried,” Harry said, placing himself in front of his Godfather and staring him in the eye. “What’s going on?”

“‘S not for me to say,” Sirius whispered.

Harry nodded, as if he’d heard perfectly what Sirius couldn’t say. 

“D’you know that when Remus and Tonks got together, at first I couldn’t imagine why they would?” Harry revealed, visibly surprising Sirius. “I mean, of course you could see how much Tonks loved him, but Remus? When he didn’t talk about Order business, it was always ‘Sirius, Sirius, Sirius.’ He looked for you desperately, spent hours whenever he could talking to me about you, and dad, and your days at Hogwarts together. Hermione was convinced Remus was in love with you, so we all were shocked that he married Tonks.”

“Truly one of the brightest, that Hermione,” Sirius smiled, and Harry chuckled.

“You’re telling me! But Sirius, is that what this is? Is Remus in love with you and trying to decide how he can break up with Tonks?” 

“Things are a little more complicated than that, Harry, but basically yes, that’s about the gist of it,” Sirius confided. “I’ve given him space to take care of his home situation and asked him to stay away. I don’t want him to, but…”

Harry closed the distance between them and hugged Sirius.

“Sorry,” he said, and Sirius nodded returning his embrace. “I know it’s hard… I mean, how could it not be? There’s Teddy to think about, and I know Remus is between a rock and a hard place now. You, too. It’ll take some time but it’ll be alright, Sirius, you’ll see. And, in the meantime, you have me,” Harry comforted.

“Is that your way of asking if you can stay for dinner?” Sirius asked, stepping back and grinning at Harry.

“Depends. What are you cooking? And can I invite Ginny? Also, can I have that pocket knife?” Harry replied, with a grin of his own.

Rolling his eyes, Sirius handed over the knife. 

“Don’t tell Andrew,” he said, winking.

*

When Tonks and Andromeda arrived back home, Remus was just feeding the last slice of apple to Teddy.

“Hello,” Remus greeted them.

“Everything alright here?” Tonks asked, and Remus nodded. 

Andromeda went to her bedroom, leaving the three of them alone, and Teddy asked his mother if he could talk to her. Puzzled, Tonks nodded.

“What is it, little one?” She asked.

“Asked daddy about _divorsy_,” Teddy said, and Tonks blushed, glancing to the side at Remus.

“Oh, uhm… And what did daddy say?”

“Said that love’s different, so houses get different, too,” Teddy explained as best he could, but Tonks understood anyway and she smiled at Remus, nodding her approval.

“That’s right. And what did you need to ask me?”

Teddy looked at his father, and Remus smiled encouragingly.

“It’s okay, Teddy, mummy and I will answer any question you have.”

“Is _divorsy_ why we here with Nana, mummy?” Teddy finally asked.

“I… well… Actually, uhm…” Tonks babbled, looking at Remus, clearly at a loss.

“What you need to know Teddy is that your mum and I love you more than anything else in the world; and this love? It’s the only one that can never change,” Remus said.

“Your dad’s right, Teddy. The way we love you is so special that it can’t end, can’t change, can’t ever become something else. It can only grow,” Tonks added, and Remus nodded.

Teddy mimicked his dad and nodded solemnly, too. “Okay.”

“Good, now… You asked if you’re staying here with mum and Nana because we’re getting divorced, mum and I, and the answer is yes. That’s why. But, you remember what I told you earlier, right?”

“Uh huh,” Teddy replied. “Love change, house change, but is still love.”

“That’s exactly it,” Remus smiled. “Mum and I might not live together anymore, and the two of you can stay here, or come back to the cottage and I’ll leave, or we can even go live in two new places. But it will never mean that I don’t love your mum anymore. Only differently, okay?”

“Yes, daddy,” Teddy said, then frowned. “But what about me? Where do I live?” He asked, worry clear in his tone.

“With us, my love,” Tonks said, picking her son up and cuddling him. “You’ll stay with both of us. You can choose to sleep at daddy’s place or at mine, and you’ll see both of us every day like you always have. Nothing will change for you, right daddy?”

“Of course! We told you that you’re special and our love for you can’t change, didn’t we? Only, maybe you’ll have two bedrooms now, but that’s not a bad thing. You can choose where you want to sleep, and you can even change every night. It’ll be fun, an adventure, don’t you think?” Remus said, trying to sound excited for his son’s sake.

Teddy seemed to think on that for a moment, his little head cocked and his hair rapidly changing colours as he seemingly weighed his options.

“I guess,” he said, in the end. “Can I have more toys, too? Two _bevrooms_ mean more toys!”

Tonks and Remus laughed out loud. 

“Why didn’t we think of that, Remus?” Tonks asked, winking. 

“Ah, Dora, we’re not as clever as our son, are we?” 

Teddy grinned. 

* 

After Teddy went to bed, Andromeda once more made herself scarce and let Remus and Tonks speak. 

“That went well,” Remus said, referring to their talk to Teddy. 

“Yeah, it did. That’s a load off, at least.” 

“How are you?” Remus asked. “I know I don’t have the right to ask, but…” 

“I’m hurt, pissed off, scared… and relieved,” Tonks revealed. 

“I’m sorry… I…” Remus started to apologise automatically, then suddenly took in what his wife had said. “You… Did you say relieved?” 

“I did, yeah. At least now it’s all out in the open and I can stop. Stop pretending I’m okay with you faffing off with Sirius day in and day out, for starters. I can stop pretending I can’t see the way you look at him, or how you always seem to need to be within touching distance from him; and I can also stop telling myself I don’t know what that means. Finally, I can stop clinging to a marriage that, let’s face it, was doomed right from the start. Now at last, I can confront my own feelings and deal with yours.” 

“I want to keep saying I’m sorry – and I am, Dora, so much – but I’m sure you’re already tired of hearing it,” Remus told her. “I realise it’s still too soon for you to talk to me in depth about our future, but I want to thank you for being honest with me and for still being a team when we spoke with Teddy.” 

Tonks nodded. “That won’t ever change,” she said. “Now off you go, and tomorrow you can pick up Teddy and keep him overnight at the cottage, okay? Start with this two bedrooms business. And soon, we’ll talk, okay?” 

Smiling, Remus agreed and left. 

* 

The afternoon of the following day, a knock startled Sirius. Everyone who knew the location to the house in Grimmauld Place, and came to visit or to help with the cleaning up, always took the liberty of apparating inside. Why would any of them be knocking on the door now? 

Puzzled, he went to open. 

“Hello, cousin,” Tonks greeted, gravely. 

Sighing, Sirius inclined his head and invited her inside. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Per la barba di Merlino = Merlin’s beard  
Figliolo = Little son  
Grazie papà = Thanks dad
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	12. Not Yours (But Mine)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not sure if it’s specified in canon, or if it’s just something fanon made up (can't remember but I suspect the latter,) but I love the idea of the Wizarding world having magical Marriage Contracts so I decided to steal it and use that in this story, too. Credits, and kudos, to whomever came up with the idea in the first place, of course, be it JKR or some clever fan :)
> 
> Thank you for reading!

Sirius led the way to the sitting room and opened the door for Tonks to enter it.

“Sit wherever you like,” he invited. “This room is perfectly safe.”

Tonks sat on one of the armchairs, and Sirius took the other.

“Tea?” He offered then, mostly in an attempt to delay the inevitable, but she shook her head. 

“This is not exactly a social visit, Sirius.”

“No,” he agreed. “Say what you came here to say, then. I’m listening.”

“D’you know mum was convinced you were dead? Yes,” she nodded, taking in Sirius’s surprised expression. “When no one could find you, or even reach you, everybody kept saying you had to have died when you escaped from Azkaban and mum believed them. I didn’t. I always thought you’d be back someday…”

“Bet you’re regretting that now, aren’t you?” Sirius said, sarcastically but with obvious pain in his voice.

“No, you arse! I could never wish you dead!” Tonks yelled, and Sirius hung his head in shame. “I saw you in Diagon Alley that day and I was so happy. I knew everyone I cared about would be, too; and also, I had my favourite cousin back.”

“Your what?” Sirius asked, shocked.

“Didn’t know you were my favourite, did you? How could you not be?”

Sirius offered a small smile. “You mean, compared to the rest of the Black family?” 

Quite obviously despite herself, Tonks returned the smile. “Well, yeah,” she agreed. “But also… D’you remember when you used to come hide at mum and dad’s when you had enough of this place? I loved those days. You were always up to get into some mischief with me, and you never made me feel like a stupid kid. Of course you were my favourite.”

Sirius closed his eyes. “I’m sorry…” he said.

“You’re sorry. Doesn’t change much, does it? He’s my husband, Sirius. Even if things were changing between us, he was still married to me. And you shagged him. What should I do with that?” Tonks asked, angry and hurt.

“I had… I wasn’t… My life wasn’t exactly easy, and I…” Sirius started.

“I know that!” Tonks interrupted. “But it doesn’t excuse you stealing my husband!”

“It does not excuse it, no,” Sirius acquiesced. “I’m not trying to justify myself here. I’m trying to explain. Just that. And I didn’t steal anyone… You can’t take away someone if he doesn’t want to go.”

Tonks glared at him, her hair now completely black.

“Listen, Tonks,” Sirius continued. “I fucked up. I behaved like a selfish arse and for that I’m truly sorry. My head hasn’t been in its right place for a long time – though I can’t only blame the Dementors for that. As soon as I regained some semblance of control on myself, my memories, and my feelings, I started acting on them without stopping to consider the consequences. I’m not proud of it, and I hate that I hurt you and your son, but at the time all I needed was Remus and I just… I had…”

“You had to shag him and be his dirty little secret, did you?” Tonks spat.

“It wasn’t my idea to keep it a secret, you know?” Sirius shot back. Then he sighed, and visibly struggled to calm down. “Remus was in a very difficult position and I knew he would need time to sort things out. But neither of us consciously decided to keep you in the dark just so we could go on shagging behind your back! At least, tell me you see that?”

“I don’t _have_ to tell you anything, you know?”

“I know you don’t but what are we doing here, then?” Sirius asked. “You came to talk, hear my side of the story, and that’s what I’m trying to give you. What else do you need from me?”

Abruptly, Tonks got up and towered over Sirius.

“Maybe I just want to yell at you, did you ever think of that? Maybe I came here to curse at you and make you feel as bad as I do! Wouldn’t it be my right to do that? Isn’t that what a wife does to the _other woman_?” Tonks shouted, angrily wiping tears off her face.

Without thinking, Sirius got up and hugged her close. She stood rigidly in his arms, but didn’t push him away.

“I’m so sorry. Bugger all, I’m so damn sorry, Tonks,” Sirius whispered, tightening his hold on his cousin. “If it’s any consolation, I already do feel as bad as you wish me to. If only I could go back and do things differently…”

Tonks allowed him to hold her, though she never returned the embrace, then finally stepped back and looked up at Sirius.

“Remus says he loves you. He wants a divorce,” she said, staring intently to catch Sirius’s reaction.

Schooling his features, Sirius forbade himself from showing anything. 

“Okay,” he simply said. “And what do you want to do? Are you discussing terms or…”

“For now, I’ve just gone to mum’s and I’m staying there with Teddy. Remus and I haven’t properly talked, yet.”

Sirius nodded, “And how’s Teddy? Is he… Does he know? About…” he gestured towards Tonks without vocalizing what he meant.

“He does. He’s a smart kid for his age and he likes to eavesdrop on people. He caught wind that something was going on and he asked. Remus and I explained.”

“Wonder where he gets it from,” Sirius commented, smiling a bit. “The eavesdropping, I mean.”

A shocked laugh left Tonks’s mouth. “Oh, shut it! The only reason you know about that, is because _you_ were sitting right beside me when I listened in on mum and dad,” she recalled.

Sirius laughed out loud. “One of us clearly had a bad influence on the other.”

“Yes, well, we both know who the bad apple is between us, don’t we?” Tonks said, drily, and Sirius paled.

“Yes, I suppose…” he whispered, chastised.

Tonks sighed. “I’m pissed off at you, don’t make that face and force me to apologise now.”

Sirius startled at the kindness of her tone and chanced a small smile. She did not return it, her mood shifting rapidly and seemingly without her control.

“Teddy comes first, Sirius,” Tonks said, resolutely. “He needs his father and I don’t care what you want from Remus, you will _not_ let him miss bedtimes, meals, and playtimes anymore, you hear me?”

“Loud and clear,” Sirius promised. “It won’t ever happen again. I already promised your son the other night, remember?”

“Yes, well, see to it not to break it,” she intimated. “Things will be hard on Teddy in the near future, no matter how much Remus and I try to shield him, and he doesn’t need daddy’s new plaything to get in the way.”

Sirius snapped. “Right, you know what? I’m through with letting you belittle what I have with Remus. I accept that you have the right to be furious with me, and I don’t care if you want to call me a monster, a bad apple, or whatever else. But I won’t stand for you insinuating that I’m only here to warm Remus’s bed.” 

“True love, is it?” Tonks’s tone dripped sarcasm.

“Pretty darn close, yes,” Sirius replied, eyes flashing. “And you know what? I’m not the one who married someone clearly obsessed with someone else! Who was it that Remus was thinking of, looking for, and being consumed by, before, during, and after the war _and_ your marriage? What, did you stick your fingers in your ears and pretended not to hear him when he talked about me?”

“He loved me!” Tonks shouted, incensed.

“Not as much as he always loved me!” Sirius spat back.

They stood there glaring at one another, seething and all but foaming at the mouths, and suddenly Sirius was struck by how ridiculous the situation was. What the hell was he doing fighting with his baby cousin over a guy like they were a couple of idiotic teenagers who didn’t know better? He was in his forties, for Godric’s sake; and she had a son. What the bloody hell were they doing?

“What the bloody hell are we doing?” Sirius asked, out loud.

“What?” Tonks was clearly surprised by Sirius’s question.

“What are we doing? How is fighting over Remus a good idea? Are we twelve? Are you going to take out your wand and challenge me to a duel next?” Sirius asked again. 

And then, something completely unexpected happened: Sirius started to laugh. Quietly at first, then harder and harder. Tonks’s hair became lighter and lighter and, when it finally reached a fluorescent green colouring, she joined in. Soon, they were both doubled over, holding their stomachs and wiping away a different kind of tears, until they couldn’t stand anymore and collapsed back into their respective armchairs.

“Bloody hell,” Sirius said, breathlessly. “Can’t remember the last time I laughed like that.”

“You know what? Neither can I,” Tonks commented.

“Sorry I shouted at you,” Sirius apologized, and Tonks nodded.

“I’m not exactly sorry I shouted,” she said, and Sirius chuckled. “But I think I’m all done now. Got the basics out: You are an arse, my soon-to-be-ex-husband is an even bigger one, my son will _not_ suffer from any of the aforementioned conditions, and I’m seriously ticked off. You got all that?”

“Did, yeah,” Sirius nodded.

“Then my work here is done,” Tonks finished, and got up.

“Are we… Will you… Do you think you’ll ever be able to forgive me?” Sirius asked, getting up also.

Tonks looked at him and sighed. “Time, Sirius. Give me time,” she said, and he smiled.

“Time, of course.”

They walked together to the door, and once there Tonks spoke again.

“I hope you know that you have your work cut out for you with my son, Sirius.”

“Uhm… Yes, he… Doesn’t exactly like me, does he?”

“Nope. He might have tolerated you at dinner, after you spoke to him, but you’re really not his favourite person in the world.”

Sirius cocked his head, “Will you help while I try to rectify the situation? You’re not going to make him hate me more, are you?”

Tonks’s hair turned blue, and she glared at Sirius.

“I wouldn’t do that to my son, Sirius. Like it or not, he will have to see you with his father and I won’t have him unhappy or uncomfortable only to get back at you,” she said, outraged.

Sirius blushed. “You’re right, I’m… Sorry, Tonks. Shouldn’t have said that, shouldn’t have even thought it... Sorry.”

“I’ll go now, before you dig more of your own grave,” she said and then, instead of opening the door and exiting the house, she simply disapparated with a soft pop.

*

When she apparated outside her husband’s cottage, Tonks could hear Remus’s voice from one of the open windows. He was reading out loud _Babbitty Rabbitty and her Cackling Stump_, Teddy’s favourite story, and making all the voices just like Teddy liked. Despite herself, Tonks smiled.

She went inside and spotted Teddy asleep on the sofa. Remus sat on a nearby chair and kept reading, which definitely meant that Teddy hadn’t been asleep for too long. They only chanced stopping reading when they knew their son was deeply asleep nowadays knowing that, if he wasn’t, they most likely would have to start the process of getting him to nap all over again.

Tonks caught Remus’s eye and gestured towards the kitchen to let him know she’d wait for him there, and he nodded his understanding.

A couple of dirty dishes and pots were in the sink and Tonks quickly spelled them clean before filling the teapot. Waiting for the water to boil, she sat at the table and rested her head on her arms.

“Everything okay?” Remus asked, entering the kitchen.

Tonks looked up at him and sighed.

“Went to see Sirius,” she revealed, and Remus sucked in a breath.

“You what?”

The teapot whistled delaying Tonks’s reply, but Remus gestured for her to remain seated and took care of the tea himself. Bringing the mugs to the table, he placed one in front of her and sat down with the other.

“You went to see Sirius, you said?” Remus asked.

“I did. Was I not supposed to?” 

“Well, no… Of course, you… I just didn’t think you’d want to,” Remus explained. “How…”

“How is he? That what you want to know?” Tonks interjected, sarcastically.

Remus blushed, caught, but still denied it, “I was going to ask how it was, how did it go?”

“He’s fine,” she answered him, anyway. “Chastised, sad, apologetic, bit belligerent, but all in all fine.”

“Belligerent?”

“There was actual talk of a duel at some point,” Tonks said. Then she chuckled startling Remus.

“A duel? I don’t…”

Tonks waved a hand, dismissing that train of thought. “As for how it was… Not exactly my finest moment – or his – but I suppose in the end it went as well as it could have done.”

“Good,” Remus commented, still a bit stunned. 

“Told him we’re getting a divorce,” Tonks revealed, apparently having decided to never stop knocking Remus for six that day.

“Oh, so we are…”

“Did you think we wouldn’t? Didn’t we tell our son about it already?” Tonks asked.

“No, I… Of course I knew we would, but we didn’t exactly talk about it yet, not really, so I didn’t think you’d want to discuss it with Sirius when we hadn’t settled things so far,” Remus explained.

“I confess I did it to gauge his reaction.”

Remus nodded, “And what did you observe?”

“That he has a brilliant poker face,” she said, and Remus laughed. “And that he loves you.”

Her words took Remus’s breath away, and he couldn’t help the small whimper that left his mouth. He wanted to ask for details – _What did he say? How did he look? Did he smile at all? Did he say he missed me?_ – but of course he could never do that, so he simply bowed his head.

“I’m sorry,” Remus said. “Never wanted to hurt you…”

“Yes, that’s what Sirius said, too. Doesn’t help but good to know, I guess,” Tonks replied, bitterly. “Anyway, speaking with Sirius made me realise that I didn’t want to delay our own conversation anymore. Mum told me how to go about getting a divorce, and with our kind of contract we basically just need to get an appointment at the Ministry to discuss things with one of the officers at the Marriage Contracts department. It would help if we already settled everything beforehand between us so we’d only need to compile the documents once there,” she explained.

“Okay, thank you for thinking about the technicalities. I’m afraid I’ve been quite useless in that regard. Do you want to discuss terms now?” Remus asked, gently.

Tonks nodded. “The cottage is yours, and I won’t ask you for anything for myself. I know you’ll take care of Teddy’s needs and that’s enough for me. I don’t think there will be any problems with practical things, and I’m sure that if one of us feels strongly about keeping this or that item, the other won’t make a fuss about it.”

“Agreed,” Remus smiled. “Shall we talk about Teddy, then?”

“I want him to feel absolutely free to move between the two of us, and I want him to be able to see you whenever he wants. I would ask that you let him live with me, but you can pick him up and keep him here, or wherever you’re going to live, at any time. In time, I’m sure we’ll get a schedule going – though I would like that to be flexible, too – but for right now Teddy is in charge. If he wants you, he gets you, understood?” Tonks said, resolutely.

“Absolutely, I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Yes, well, this means that I won’t care if you and Sirius have plans or whatever: If Teddy tells me he wants his dad, you come running. Sirius can deal with it. Is _that_ understood?”

Remus looked surprised, “I’m not sure why you feel the need to point this out, or to imply that Sirius is the only one at fault here, but let me reassure you that he would never put himself between myself and Teddy.”

“But didn’t he, already?”

Remus sighed. “I did that, Dora, don’t you see? Maybe the first couple of times I missed dinner or bedtime it happened by accident but after a while, after it kept happening, it should have been my responsibility to make sure I was aware of the time and able to come back here when I needed to. It was me. Sirius never outright asked me to never mind about Teddy and just stay there with him.”

“You were both selfish and it stops now,” Tonks reiterated. “Teddy comes first, do we all agree on that?”

“We do,” Remus promised.

“You will have to find a way to ease Sirius’s presence in your life with Teddy and I won’t lie to you: It won’t be simple. I’ll help as much as I can, for Teddy’s sake, but you will have to do most of the work. And Sirius will have to learn to navigate a four year old bad moods,” Tonks said, then.

“I know, and you’re right. It’ll be a process but we’ll make it work.”

“And good luck with that,” Tonks couldn’t resist saying. “I guess that’s all, then. We know how we’ll divide our assets, we’ve discussed Teddy and our arrangement, and we agreed to separate amicably.”

“Thank you,” Remus said, smiling. “I only hope that, sometime in the future, we will be able to build a new relationship, you and I. You will always be most important in my life, and I hope I’ll get to keep you in it. And not just as the mother of my child, but as a valued friend.”

“We’ll see,” she replied, noncommittally. “I’ll go back to mum’s now, leave Teddy with you for the night, okay?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Good. I’ll be back tomorrow after breakfast to pick him up, leave you free to run to Sirius,” Tonks said, sarcastic but not mean.

Remus inclined his head in acknowledgement, but didn’t comment.

Tonks stepped in the sitting room to softly kiss her son goodbye, careful not to wake him, then with one last look at Remus she apparated away.

Remus returned to the kitchen to put away the mugs, then went back to where his son slept. He didn’t enter the room; instead, he stopped in the doorway and leaned against the side of it. 

A bright, relieved smile blossomed on his face, “Tomorrow, Sirius.”


	13. Highs and Lows

Sirius was casting a few cleaning spells on the pots and pans he’d left in the sink the previous night after he’d cooked dinner for Harry and his friends, when he heard the pop of apparition right behind his back.

He turned swiftly, wand still in hand, and his eyes widened when they met Remus’s.

“I come in peace,” Remus joked, putting his hands up and nodding towards Sirius’s wand. 

Chuckling, Sirius lowered it and put it back inside his sleeve.

“Was I expecting you?” Sirius asked.

“If you weren’t, you should have. I did tell you I’d be back, didn’t I?” 

While he spoke, Remus slowly walked towards Sirius.

“You did,” Sirius agreed, waiting to be reached. Soon they were toe to toe, but Remus didn’t stop until their noses were touching.

“Hi,” he said, smiling, and Sirius returned it.

“Hey, Moons. Any news?”

Remus grinned, nodding, but instead of answering he closed the small distance that still separated them and kissed Sirius softly. Sirius accepted the kiss and deepened it, moaning and clinging to Remus.

“Missed you so much,” Sirius whispered, lips still touching Remus’s.

Remus nodded, and let himself collapse against Sirius thus pushing him back into the sink. They held one another for a moment, simply breathing and reconnecting, and then Remus finally stepped back. 

He took Sirius’s hand and brought him to sit at the kitchen table.

“Dora and I are getting a divorce,” Remus said, once there.

“Yes, been hearing about that.”

“Ah. Dora did tell me she came here yesterday, yes. She seemed… Satisfied with your meeting,” Remus looked at Sirius intently to catch his mood.

“Hmm,” Sirius commented, “Guess it wasn’t as bad as it could have been.”

“She mentioned a duel?” Remus couldn’t help but say, and smiled when Sirius laughed out loud.

“Did she?” 

“You don’t have any intention of explaining about that, do you? Dora didn’t, either.”

Sirius grinned. “What your wife and your lover talk about is not for you to know, Remus,” he said, but not bitterly.

“You’re not just my lover, Sirius. You never were,” Remus declared, forcefully. “And Dora won’t be my wife for long, either. We’re setting up an appointment at the Ministry as soon as we can get one and, since we’ve agreed on our terms, it shouldn’t take more than a couple of signatures for our marriage contract to be dissolved.”

“How do you feel about it? Are you… Is Teddy…” 

“Teddy will be okay, we’ll make sure of it. And I feel guilty, mostly,” Remus confided. “I shouldn’t have left things go unsaid as long as I did, for starters. It was incredibly unfair to Dora, who didn’t deserve it, and it was confusing and hurtful to my son. Not to mention what it did to you… But I… In a way I think I just wanted to stop time, and not have to think about anything else other than the joy of having you back, and finally in my arms. Does that make sense?”

If there was anyone who could understand the complexities of one’s dealings with time, that person was definitely Sirius.

“It does, yes; and I’m sorry if I made you feel even worse the last time we spoke, telling you that I’d tried to give you hints to get a move on and leave Tonks. I was upset, and I…”

Remus waved Sirius’s apology away, “You had every right and I needed to hear it, anyway. One thing I learned from these past few days of speaking openly with Dora and Teddy is that honesty, sometimes even to the point of bluntness, it’s always the best way to move forward. You put everything out in the open and, yes, you pay the price but afterwards there’s nothing more freeing.”

Sirius nodded his agreement. “You said you feel guilty now and I understand why that is. But are you also.. Well…”

“I’m experiencing many feelings all at once and some in stark contrast with the others,” Remus confided. “Yet, aside from the guilt, the most prominent is definitely happiness. It’s done, or it will be soon, Sirius… I’m free. I’m finally here to stay.”

Tears in his eyes, Sirius got up, went to Remus, and straddled him collapsing bodily against him. Remus held him tight, hands splayed on Sirius’s back, and started slowly rubbing his head up and down the side of Sirius’s. The movement was so familiar, so reminiscent of the way the wolf behaved with Padfoot almost since the very first time they spent Fulls together, that it instantly relaxed Sirius and he sighed.

“Moony…”

“I’m here. I’m here, Sirius. Right here. Never going away again, never,” Remus vowed.

“Never.”

*  
Remus was growling in Sirius’s ear, his breath hot and wet, and it heightened Sirius’s pleasure. They were in Sirius’s bed, and Remus was making good on the promise he’d made Sirius in the kitchen, right after he swore never to leave him:

“I want to claim you. I’m _going_ to claim you,” Remus had growled then, too, and Sirius had all but dragged him upstairs.

Sirius now lay on his back on his bed, legs spread to accommodate Remus’s body, arms above his head, and hands held tightly in Remus’s; small whimpers left his mouth with every thrust of Remus’s hips. 

“Mine!” Remus kept repeating over and over in a guttural voice.

“Yes… ah… Remus… please… yes… Yours…” Sirius muttered, incoherently.

Remus fucked him almost lazily, like he had all the time in the world and was going to use it to the fullest. Still, he went as deep as he could, grazing Sirius’s prostate every time, and rendering him even more incoherent. Whenever Remus felt like he was getting too close to coming, he would stop with his cock inside Sirius and held him still, until his own orgasm receded a bit and Sirius started begging for him to move again.

Sirius’s cock was so hard he was sure he soon wouldn’t be able to take much more, but he didn’t want to come before he knew Remus had taken everything he wanted from him. Sirius himself wanted Remus to stake his claim, and keep himself and Sirius on the edge until he was satisfied. However, it was becoming more and more impossible for Sirius to stave off his own orgasm.

“Remus… please! Can’t…” Sirius thrashed on the bed. “Can’t… Need… Please!”

Remus stilled for a second and Sirius was ready to start crying; but then he felt Remus’s mouth on his neck, sucking a deep bruise on it without breaking the skin, and Remus leaned completely into him. With Sirius’s cock trapped between their stomachs, Remus started pounding into him, rocking the bed and slamming the headboard against the wall.

Sirius came after only a few thrusts, screaming and convulsing around Remus, who had no choice but to follow him over the edge.

Somehow mustering enough strength to get off Sirius, so that he could put down his legs and lie comfortably, Remus cleaned them both quickly with the sheet that he then threw off the bed, then gathered Sirius in his arms and promptly fell asleep.

*

Too soon, a voice woke them both up.

“Uh?” Remus mumbled, but Sirius was already getting up and wrapping a robe around his own naked body. “What?”

“Andy,” Sirius whispered and went to retrieve the mirror.

“Pads?” Andrew called out again.

“Here, _papà_,” Sirius replied, finally holding the mirror up to his face. “Everything okay?”

Andrew cocked his head, “I wanted to talk to you about the box of silver knives I received yesterday but, looking at you, I’m thinking I’ve called at a bad time. Or was it a good time?”

Sirius blushed, “Well…”

Andrew laughed out loud, “Good on you, boy!” He yelled. “Do I take it Remus’s back?”

“He is, yes,” Sirius smiled. “I’d let you say hi, but he’s not exactly presentable at the moment.”

“Sirius!” Remus hissed, but Andrew heard him anyway and roared with another laughter.

Grinning, Sirius promised to call Andrew back later. “Can’t discuss silver now, dad. Got a werewolf in my bed. Touchy subject.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “Bye, Andrew,” he said, out loud, and heard Andrew’s reply.

“Talk later, Pads,” Andrew told Sirius then, and the mirror went blank.

“That went well, don’t you think?” Sirius asked, turning towards Remus after placing the mirror back on the desk.

Remus threw a pillow at his face.

*  
The days that followed seemed to go by in a blur. Remus decided to stay at the cottage for the time being and have Teddy there whenever the kid felt like spending the night with his dad. It was too soon, Remus thought, to take even that away from Teddy and Sirius agreed. Still, Remus spent every single minute he had free happily glued to Sirius’s side and often felt like slapping himself for waiting this long to fix the situation. Things were near perfect for them now and they could have been so much sooner.

Thanks to her contacts there, Tonks was able to get an appointment at the Ministry Department for Marriage Contracts quite quickly, and they were scheduled to sign the official documents for the divorce the following week. Obviously, the news of the separation became public knowledge after that, as did the fact that Remus was obviously with Sirius now even if he officially still resided at the cottage. 

Harry and Ginny, not to mention Ron and Hermione, were among the first to congratulate Sirius and Remus, but not everyone was happy with the news. Molly Weasley openly sided with Tonks – though she was often told that Tonks truly didn’t want sides to be taken – and started absolutely avoiding both Remus and Sirius. Bill Weasley, who in the years had come to be very close to Remus especially after Greyback’s attack, assured them that it wouldn’t last and that Molly would soon relax and leave things be. But, to be fair, neither Remus nor Sirius were grievously hurt by Molly’s reaction.

Andromeda was also quite cold with them and for that Sirius did suffer. Remus too, of course, since he’d always had a good relationship with his former mother-in-law, but Sirius felt like he’d just lost the last member of his original family, the only one that had still cared for him. It was hard but Sirius wouldn’t have chosen any other path: He had Remus and that was the only thing that counted.

Andrew was, on the other hand, ecstatic with the new arrangement and with the prospect of being recognized by Remus's son as a Grandfather one day. He spent hours chatting with Remus via the mirror while Sirius cleared a room – and often jokingly complained that he was the only one working while others lazed about. Secretly, or not so secretly actually, Sirius was over the moon that Andrew loved Remus and spent so much time getting to know him. 

Things were as close to perfect as they’d ever been but there was one variable still up in the air: Teddy hadn’t seen Sirius since the night he’d dined at the cottage and soon that situation would have to be rectified.

To say that Sirius was terrified was an understatement.

*

The first few times, Sirius saw Teddy in what they called ‘neutral ground.’ Remus took his son for a walk in the park and Sirius happened to be there, too; or the boy asked for an ice cream at Fortescue’s and Sirius would be casually strolling Diagon Alley that same day. 

During every single meeting Sirius tried his best to engage Teddy, but the kid always replied with one-worded answers and he usually looked at Sirius suspiciously. Teddy’s idea of going to feed the ducks turned into a deadpanned, “I don’t even like ducks,” when Sirius showed him the bag of bread he’d brought for the occasion; the time Teddy’s puppet lost a hand after it got stuck beneath a table, Sirius took out his wand to fix it and Teddy decided he liked it off (only to beg his dad to repair the puppet himself later on.) When Sirius tried to talk to Teddy, tell him something about the time he and his dad spent together at Hogwarts, Teddy listened but then directed any question he might have about it to Remus, ignoring Sirius.

Sirius was at a complete loss. He kept trying and he refused to let the child’s attitude hurt him because the kid was going through a difficult time so it was normal for him to lash out. Still, being constantly shunned wasn’t easy for Sirius, who had experienced the same for almost his entire life.

One fateful day Sirius apparated just outside Remus’s cottage, as he usually did when Teddy was there and he didn’t want to take the liberty of apparating inside. Remus saw him from the kitchen window and waved him in, smiling.

“Afternoon,” Sirius greeted entering, and he smiled at Remus and Teddy.

“Hello,” Remus replied, nudging Teddy.

“Hi,” the kid said, glancing up from his colouring book for a mere second before returning to it.

Sirius sat down, too. “What are you working on, Teddy?” 

Teddy gestured to the book, raising his crayon a bit, as if to tell Sirius that he should as well be able to answer his own question.

Non-plussed, or acting like it, Sirius tried again. “Can I help? I love colouring.”

“No, thanks,” Teddy replied, and Sirius deflated a bit.

“Of course Sirius can help, Teddy,” Remus gently reprimanded. “We’d been uncertain if we wanted to paint the boat red or purple, remember? Want to ask Sirius what he thinks?”

“No,” Teddy refused, again.

“I’ll ask him then, shall I?” Remus proposed, and Teddy shrugged. “Sirius?” Remus addressed him, then mouthed the word ‘red’ since that had been Teddy’s suggestion.

“Uhm, well… Let’s see. Red?” Sirius offered, smiling.

Teddy looked at him, then simply picked up the purple crayon and started colouring the boat. 

“Teddy…” Remus started, but Sirius interrupted him.

“Or purple, I guess. Well, actually, you know what, Teddy? Purple is my favourite colour,” Sirius said, and the boy dropped the crayon and stared at Sirius open-mouthed.

“You said red,” Teddy glared.

“Didn’t say it was my favourite, though, did I?”

Teddy cocked his head, still glaring, but he’d already coloured a large portion of the boat so there was no turning back now.

“Of course,” Sirius continued, “There’s no rule about you choosing only one colour, is there? Paint it purple, paint it red, or you can do half and half. Or even, I don’t know, leave a couple of spots blank and then fill those with different colours. You decide.”

Teddy’s eyes widened at the suggestion. “Purple, and red, and… green?” He pondered, looking at Sirius.

Instead of replying, Sirius took out the green crayon and placed it beside the red and the purple ones.

“Go for it,” he said, and Teddy started colouring again.

Exhausted, Sirius glanced at Remus and saw him smiling proudly at him.

“Thank you,” Remus mouthed, and Sirius smiled.

They stayed there until Teddy declared he was tired and went to sit on the sofa. Remus turned on the Muggle television and found one of those animated programmes that Muggles called ‘cartoons’.

“Just for a while, Teddy, okay? You know mum and I don’t want you to watch too much television,” Remus reminded his son.

“Yep,” Teddy dismissed him, already engrossed with the screen.

Smiling, Remus went back into the kitchen and hugged Sirius.

“You’ve been so good with him, Sirius. And I know you asked me not to intercede too much on your behalf when Teddy shuts you out, but I’m sorry you have to work so hard.”

“I don’t think it would help if your son thought you were siding with me and against him,” Sirius repeated the same argument he’d made since the beginning. “I need to find my own place in his life, and he needs to want to create it with me knowing that you are in his corner.”

“I love you so much,” Remus said, kissing Sirius softly.

After they exchanged a few kisses, Sirius asked, “You know how Andrew’s been helping me find ways to engage Teddy?” 

“Hmm, yes. I’ve thanked him already about that.” 

“Well, he reminded me the other day that his friends’ kids were delighted to meet Padfoot. Not many people in Italy know about me being an Animagus, and Angelo and Sonia, the children’s parents, are among the ones that do. They own the bakery in front of Andrew’s shop and they’re close to him so I felt like I could show them, you know? They have twins, six years old, and when I turned into Padfoot in front of them, they loved him on the spot,” Sirius recounted.

“So, you’re thinking of turning for Teddy? See if he warms up to you after meeting Padfoot?”

“Would you mind? Does it sound like a good idea to you? I don’t… I won’t do it if you think it might be a problem. Merlin knows I don’t need to alienate Teddy even more. But if he… If Padfoot could…”

Remus hugged Sirius close. “It’s a great idea, Pads,” he said, reassuringly. “Wanna try it now?”

Sirius agreed.

They went to the sitting room together and Remus called his son.

“Teddy?”

The kid turned to stare at his dad and Sirius, “What?”

“Look here,” Remus said, smiling, and Sirius swiftly turned into Padfoot.

Remus scratched the dog between the ears, and Padfoot’s tail wagged like mad. He cocked his head, long tongue hanging out of his mouth, and stared at the kid waiting for his reaction, hoping to be accepted.

Teddy startled, his eyes becoming as wide as an owl’s – and looking like it, too – and his face redder and redder.

“Teddy?” Remus called, moving away from Padfoot and going to his son.

Not taking his eyes off the big dog, Teddy didn’t see his father approaching. He simply stood there, rigidly.

And then yelled at the top of his lungs.

Shocked to his core, Sirius was unable to maintain his dog form and turned back. The abrupt change seemed to make things even worse for Teddy because he let out another, even louder scream and started to cry. Remus quickly picked the boy up and held him, shushing and soothing him, but Teddy seemed inconsolable.

Sirius staggered back and left the room. It felt like the ultimate rejection and Sirius knew that he couldn’t take it anymore. There was nothing to be done. Teddy despised him, feared him even, and Sirius was powerless in the face of Teddy’s distress. What else was there for him to do? What else could he try now that he’d seen how much Teddy loathed the very sight of him?

How could Remus still want to be with Sirius after what just happened? How could he impose Sirius’s presence on a kid that was so strongly against him?

Ignoring the fact that he could clearly hear Teddy calming down and starting to talk with his dad in hushed tones, Sirius didn’t feel able to stay in the house with the two of them anymore. Actually, Sirius didn’t feel like he could still even be in the same country as Remus’s son.

Closing his eyes and focusing his mind on his bedroom in Grimmauld Place, and the mirror that waited for him there, Sirius disapparated.

*

“Andy! Andy!” Sirius called, the second he arrived in his room and picked up the mirror.

“_Santo Cielo_! Hunter! What happened?”

“I need you to call Claudio. Is he still monitoring the Portkeys?” Sirius asked while throwing some of his belongings in his bag. It struck Sirius how similar the situation was to the time he ran away from this very house to go live with the Potters’.

“Yes, he… Of course, he is. But why? What in the world happened now?” Andrew repeated, frightened.

“I’m coming home,” Sirius said. “I need a Portkey back to Rome as soon as Claudio can get me one. Can you contact him, _papà_? Now?”

Andrew stared at Sirius. “Are you in danger?”

“No, I…”

“You sure? Sirius, tell me if someone’s after you, or if you fear for your life. Don’t shield me, I want to know,” Andrew interrupted.

“No one’s after me, dad,” Sirius reassured, and tried to calm down. “I just need to leave this place.”

“Leave? But why? You still have just a few rooms to check in the house, and then you can go about changing its destination and finding it a new purpose. Your plans for it are so detailed, so good, why would you leave now, when you’re so close? And what about Remus? Harry, even? I don’t understand, Sirius.”

“Can’t you just help me leave? Can’t you wait, and I’ll explain everything to you once I’m back home?” Sirius pleaded, but Andrew shook his head.

“You’re not running away, are you?”

“I…” Sirius tried, but couldn’t speak.

“_Diamine_, Sirius! That’s not like you! Even when you had next to nothing you still stood up for yourself and fought! What’s making you turn tail and run now? Now, when you have a beautiful life in front of you?” Andrew asked, chastising and worried.

Collapsing on the bed, mirror still firmly in his hands, Sirius told Andrew everything about Padfoot’s encounter with Teddy.

“Before you say anything, I know, okay?” Sirius said, when he finished. “This is not about me or my feelings. I’m the adult and he’s a four year old whose life has been thrown into chaos. He has the right to hate me and he has the right to treat me like dirt. But I can’t take it at the moment, _papà_. I need to go away for a while, get some distance, perspective even, before I’m again strong enough to face rejection upon rejection. Please, don’t you see that?”

Andrew sighed, pained. “_Ragazzo mio_,” he said. “First and foremost, your feelings do matter and it’s okay to feel hurt and to express it. Yes, Teddy is a kid and you’re the adult, but rejection hurts at any age. Also, I know you don’t want Remus to take your side whenever the two of you are with Teddy, but the kid does not have the right to treat you like dirt. He can be rightfully angry and suspicious, but he cannot speak to you as he pleases. That is something I believe Remus should correct.”

“Dad, I…”

“Let me finish,” Andrew interrupted. “I also agree that maybe you need some time for yourself, that you need to take a break from constantly trying to win Teddy over. The kid might benefit from it, too, I’d wager. But, in what way does this mean that you need to leave England? And Remus? How do you go from needing a break to cutting off the man you love?”

“Without me around he can spend more time with Teddy,” Sirius explained, weakly.

“And he can’t do that if you’re in Grimmauld Place? He can’t spend his days with Teddy and his nights with you? Be honest with me here, Pads. Why do you want to come back to Italy?” 

“I’m scared that if I don’t leave now… right now… That I’ll see Remus and he’ll be the one to tell me that we can’t be together anymore. That his son is terrified of me and he can’t be with someone his own son fears. If I leave, then he…” Sirius’s voice cut off.

“You mean to tell me you didn’t even intend to wait for Remus and tell him you want to leave?” Andrew gaped. 

Sirius bit his lip, nodding.

“Hunter!” Andrew’s use of the name he himself gave Sirius let him know just how much he meant business now. “This is not how you behave with the people you love. If you truly want to come back here I will ask Claudio to find a Portkey for you immediately, but I will _not_ help planning an escape you do not need.”

Sirius lowered his head in shame and his demeanour softened Andrew’s tone.

“_Figliolo_, for what it’s worth I’m one hundred per cent sure that Remus will never break up with you because you hit a bump in the road with Teddy. No matter how big the bump may be. That man loves you like crazy! The way he talks about you, the way he looks at you… Sirius, my boy, I know people who would kill to have someone feel that way about them. I know you’ve just had a fright… No, don’t deny it, Teddy’s reaction to Padfoot scared you as much as it did him. However, you will not do anyone any favour if you act on impulse while scared. Rest now, let this day pass; be alone if you need to. Tomorrow you can decide where you want to go, okay?”

Recognising the wisdom in his father’s suggestion and the truth in his words, Sirius nodded his acceptance.

“Tomorrow, then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Santo Cielo = Good Heavens  
Diamine = Damn  
Ragazzo mio = My boy  
Figliolo = Little son
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	14. On The Other Side Of Fear

Before retiring for bed in the evening, Sirius cast an anti-apparition spell on the house, closed off the floo from the network, and even spelled Grimmauld Place to block Patronuses and make it so owls would just leave their messages on the windowsills or the roof. He knew he was being unfair and that he would probably cause not just Remus but other people, too – Harry especially – to worry, but he truly needed to be sure he wouldn’t be disturbed. Andrew convinced him not to run away with his tail between his legs without confronting the issues, but Sirius still needed to be left completely alone at the moment.

Without bothering to eat anything he simply retired to his bedroom, took a Dreamless Draught, closed the door, and buried himself underneath the blankets shutting everything out.

When he woke the following morning he felt rested but still quite upset. His empty stomach rumbled and, after showering and dressing, Sirius went down to the kitchen to get some breakfast. He did not lift any of the spells or re-open the floo until even the last dish had been cleaned; after he finally got around to do it, he then climbed to the upper floor of the house and went outside on the small roof.

There, he found a couple of messages left for him on a little table and Sirius sighed opening them up. The first one was from Harry and reading it gave Sirius the first smile in many hours.

_“Is everything okay, Sirius? The house didn’t trap you inside, did it? I tried to floo and come visit but nothing worked. Wouldn’t put it past your parents to have some sort of trap in that place! Message me if you can, Sirius, I’m worried. And if you are trapped… I’ll rescue you! HJP.”_

In a way, Harry wasn’t that far off but Sirius had trapped himself inside the house, not the other way around. And really, he needed to admit to a certain irony in shutting himself in a house he usually couldn’t wait to leave.

The other message was, of course, from Remus and it was quite brief.

_“You spelled the house, didn’t you? You can’t hide forever. Better believe I’ll keep trying to reach you and if I can’t? I’m calling Dumbledore. You arse.”_

Sirius knew now that his idea of running away without telling anyone wasn’t feasible, no matter how good the thought of putting space between himself and his problems sounded. He would have to confront Remus (and Harry, of course,) and face the music.

He only hoped they wouldn’t both come for him at once.

*

Remus was beside himself. After spending half an hour calming Teddy down and having him explain why he reacted like he did and what scared him, Remus was finally able to go in search of Sirius, wanting to explain, and realised he’d left the cottage. Unable to run after him immediately, Remus was forced to wait for Tonks to come pick up their son – and of course take the time to tell her what happened with Teddy and Padfoot, and enlist her help in talking to the kid. As soon as she left, he could finally follow Sirius.

Or that’s what he thought.

When at first he wasn’t able to apparate, Remus worried there might be something wrong with him. Maybe he was too emotional and couldn’t maintain proper focus? Not wanting to risk splinching himself if he tried again, Remus went to the fireplace, entered it, then threw down the powder enunciating, “Twelve, Grimmauld Place!”

Nothing happened. He tried again, once, twice, and still nothing. And that’s when he understood: Sirius closed off the house. To prove his hypothesis, Remus tried apparating a few times more certain now that his mood wasn’t a problem, and he even manifested a couple of Patronuses only to be left staring at a silvery wolf that cocked its head in confusion.

“Bloody hell, Sirius!” Remus yelled to the empty house. “You can’t shut me out like this!”

Fuming but knowing that at least a written message would be delivered even if left unread for Merlin knew how long, Remus sat at his desk and penned a few, quite angry, words that he then had his owl deliver.

Sirius could have his way for now, but if come tomorrow he didn’t re-open the house Remus would make good on his promise to call Dumbledore and have their old Professor force his way inside.

When day dawned, Remus’s morning begun with a visit from Tonks.

“Wotcher,” she greeted, stepping out of the floo.

“Hello, Dora,” Remus replied, tired and worn out from his sleepless night.

“You okay?”

“Fine,” Remus dismissed her concern. “How’s Teddy? Did he speak to you about Sirius?”

Tonks looked like she wanted to press the issue of Remus’s mood, but in the end she decided to let it go. 

“Teddy’s fine. Actually, is Sirius here?” Tonks asked, surprising Remus.

“No,” he replied, grimly. “He’s at his house. Why?”

“Are the two of you…” She tried, but a look from Remus stopped her. “Right, got it, none of my business. And thank Merlin for that. Anyway, Teddy wants to see Sirius. He asked if he could come here this afternoon and talk to him. Will you set it up?”

Remus gaped, “Did he really say that? I just…”

“Not only he did say that, but he also asked me if he could talk to Sirius alone. Colour me surprised!” 

“Should we be worried?” Remus asked, and Tonks shrugged.

“I don’t think so but we’ll see, won’t we? Set it up, okay? And then send a message to tell me when I can drop Teddy off.” 

Using those as parting words, she went back inside the fireplace and called for the address of her mother’s house.

Baffled, Remus stood there for a moment and then, resolutely, grabbed his wand and tried again to apparate in Grimmauld Place.

One second later, he found himself in the hallway of Sirius’s house.

“Sirius!” Remus called, out loud. When no answer was forthcoming, he started searching the house. 

“Sirius! Where the bloody hell are you?” 

Finally, he climbed to the upper level and saw that the window to the roof was wide open. Sighing, Remus stepped outside.

“There you are,” he said, as soon as he caught sight of Sirius. “Didn’t you hear me calling?”

“Sorry, Moony,” Sirius sounded subdued, and he didn’t turn around to face Remus. 

“What exactly are you apologizing for, Sirius?”

“Take your pick,” Sirius offered, apparently unwilling to say more, and Remus sighed.

“Come on. Let’s go in and take a seat, talk for a moment.”

Sirius let himself be led back inside the room, and they sat on the little sofa beside the window.

“I don’t like it when you shut me out, Sirius. However bad you might be feeling, however fucked up the situation is, you can’t just cut me off. I want… I _need_ to be able to talk to you, discuss things, find a solution together. Don’t run away from me, we waited so long to be together… We promised to stay now, remember?” Remus reprimanded, resolutely yet gently.

Sirius simply kept looking at him. 

When he realised he wasn’t going to get a reply, Remus continued. “I’m not… Look, I don’t mean to imply that you can’t have a moment for yourself if you need one. Just tell me, okay? Say that you need me to leave you be for a while and you’ll save my sanity. I worried about you last night, I couldn’t get a wink of sleep…” 

“Sorry…” Sirius whispered, hanging his head.

“Why did you do it, Pads? Why couldn’t you just send me a Patronus and let me know you were okay but needed to be by yourself? Why close off the house and scare the pants out of me?”

Sirius shrugged.

“That’s not going to cut it, Sirius,” Remus warned. “Talk to me.”

“It was too much,” Sirius mumbled.

“What was? Teddy? Because, Sirius, he…”

“Not just Teddy,” Sirius interrupted. “Or, well, yes, mainly what happened with Padfoot, but… I’ve been working as hard as I can to get him to accept me, while also battling this wretched place out of any sort of malicious magic _and_ learning to navigate a relationship with you. When Teddy… When Padfoot… Hell, Remus, I just needed everything to stop, okay? Just stop, go away, take a break and rest.”

Remus took Sirius’s hand in his. “I understand that, love, and I’m sorry if you feel like I’m not helping you enough. I…”

“It’s not that, Remus!” Sirius once again interrupted. “You help, of course you do, and you have your own problems to deal with. The book, the divorce, and helping your son adjust. All of that plus me and the shit that comes with me. Not here to tell you it’s your fault, okay?”

“If this is going anywhere near the words ‘It’s not you, it’s me,’ Sirius, I swear to Godric…” Remus said pointedly, and Sirius shook his head.

“No. Well, it is me but not in the way you’re implying. I’m tired, Remus. Just so tired, and I think I need a break.” 

“A break,” Remus repeated. “From what exactly?”

Sirius sighed and decided to let it all out. 

“I apparated here yesterday after leaving your place with my mind made up: I called Andrew and asked him to find me a Portkey to Italy as soon as he could manage. I wanted to leave, Remus, and before you ask… No, I wasn’t going to say goodbye. Andrew ripped me a new one for it, already, and as you can see I’m still here… But if I’d had my way, I’d have left yesterday night.”

Remus was shocked. “You would… But you promised… We said… Never again. How… Sirius…”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Moony, okay? For what it’s worth, I believe I’d have asked for another Portkey back the moment I landed in Rome. I wasn’t thinking straight and I just wanted to bring everything to a halt; I wanted to cast a freezing spell on time and only restart it when I was once again ready to face the world. Face your son… And you… That’s why I closed off the house, and that’s why I didn’t inform you. I’m sorry and it was shitty of me, but my mind could only focus on one thing: Everything needs to stop. So I made sure it did…” 

“I can’t believe you would have just left…” Remus whispered, still stuck on how close he’d come to be without Sirius.

Impulsively, Sirius pushed Remus back against the sofa and straddled his hips sitting on his lap. 

“I’m sorry,” he repeated, again and again, while he held Remus close and pushed his head against his own shoulder. “I wasn’t thinking, I _couldn’t_ think straight! Fear, exhaustion, and pain were clouding my judgement and I’m only lucky I thought to call Andrew for help so he could instead knock some sense into me. I’m so sorry, Remus…”

Returning the embrace, Remus hid his face in the crook of Sirius’s neck and breathed deeply. 

“You can’t do that,” he said, after a while. “You just cannot do anything like that ever again, is that understood? Tell me to fuck off and leave you alone, I don’t care, but you do _not_ leave the bloody Country without giving me an advance warning!”

“I won’t, I… Shit, when I woke up this morning and saw the half-packed bag, I wanted to kick myself. I didn’t want to leave… I don’t want to leave you, _ever_. I swear, Moony. But…” Sirius trailed off.

“But?”

“I still need to stop,” Sirius confided, leaning back and staring at Remus’s upturned face. “I still need a break.”

“You want me to leave?” It was obvious how much the question pained Remus.

“No! No, you… You stay,” Sirius held him back to his chest. “Stay with me. I just… it’s just… Teddy and I… Maybe I should keep my distance? For a while, I mean. Unless, well…”

“Unless what?” Remus was puzzled, and he was the one pulling back from Sirius this time, in order to be able to see his face.

“Unless you think it’s better if I… keep away forever from now on…”

“What?! Why in the world would I want that?” Remus all but shouted.

Sirius winced. “He’s scared of me… It’s not just simple dislike now, he really… truly… He’s terrified. Why would you want me around your kid when he can’t be in my presence without screaming his head off? How could Tonks let me stay in the same room with her son?”

Remus gaped at him. “You… Sirius, what the bloody hell are you going on about? Teddy isn’t scared of you.”

Abruptly, Sirius got up and off Remus’s lap, and stood there glaring down at him.

“Are you fucking kidding me? He about brought the house down yesterday after he saw Padfoot! And we both know that dog is the best part of me!”

Remus got up, too. “Right. One, Padfoot is not the best part of you! Just the more friendly, perhaps,” he said, startling a chuckle out of Sirius. “And two… No, you know what? I’m not going to tell you what’s two. I’ll let Teddy do that.”

Sirius’s eyes widened comically. “Did you flat out ignore everything I just told you? Never mind the fact that I’m the last person your son wants to see now, or ever, but what about my need to take a break? Am I not entitled to it, after all?”

“Pads… Sirius, you are, okay? But first we need to clear the air completely so you’re not left believing my son is petrified of you! Teddy _asked_ to see you today, so I’m not springing you on him, either,” Remus explained.

“He said that?” Sirius asked, open-mouthed.

“That’s the same question I asked when Dora informed me. And the answer was: Yes, Teddy wants to see you and talk to you. Alone.”

“Alone?”

Remus smiled. “Four years old and already he knows what he wants. And also? He wouldn’t have asked that if he’d been scared of you, just so you know. You can have your break, Sirius. You can take all the time you need, I promise you. Just please talk to Teddy first?”

Stunned and intrigued at the same time, Sirius agreed.

*

“This is a bad idea.”

“Sirius…”

“No! No, Remus,” Sirius waved a hand. “This is a bad idea. The worst! It’s going to be a disaster, it’s going to scare Teddy to death, and give me a heart attack, and…”

“You forgot the hurricane,” Remus interjected.

Sirius whirled around to stare at him. “The what?”

“The hurricane. You were listing catastrophes. Thought I’d give you a hand with that. So, hurricane,” Remus explained, calmly.

Sirius glared at him for a moment before throwing his hands up in the air.

“Argh!” 

“Calm down, Pads. Don’t make _me_ work an anti-apparition spell on the cottage so you can’t run away.”

Sirius opened his mouth to reply but the fireplace puffed and Tonks stepped out of it with Teddy.

“Hi, there,” Remus smiled to his ex-wife and his son. “Everything okay?”

“It is, yes,” Tonks replied. “Right, Teddy?”

Without taking his eyes off Sirius the kid nodded and, between the two of them, the only one that actually appeared terrified was Sirius.

“Hi,” Teddy greeted Sirius.

“Oh… Uhm… Hi, Teddy,” Sirius babbled.

“We talk now?” Teddy asked, gesturing towards his bedroom. “My room?”

Sirius looked at Remus who nodded encouragingly, and then followed the kid. Once inside, Sirius went to sit on the small chair in front of the desk so he wouldn’t tower over Teddy and could appear as non-threatening as possible.

“Teddy, I…” Sirius started, but Teddy interrupted him.

“Can I see the dog again, please?”

“The dog… I… Are you sure? I don’t want to scare you, Teddy, and…” Sirius tried.

“Wasn’t scared of the dog!” Teddy glared. “Love doggies!”

“O-kay. But something did scare you yesterday…”

“Too quick,” Teddy mumbled.

“I’m sorry? I don’t… Quick?”

Teddy nodded. “You was there, then dog, then you again! Too quick,” he explained, and Sirius felt like slapping himself.

Of course the child would be startled by the transformation if he didn’t know to expect it! Teddy and his mother were Metamorphmagus, yes, but the most they could change were a few features on their faces. To see a grown man abruptly turn into a dog could be a shock for a kid if he wasn’t prepared for it, and if no one explained to him how it was possible. 

“I’m so sorry, Teddy, I didn’t think about warning you before I turned. Do you want to know how it’s done?” Sirius asked.

Teddy nodded, interested, and Sirius tried to explain the whole process of becoming an Animagus using words a four year old could understand and process.

“Is it only with dogs?” Teddy asked, after a while.

“No,” Sirius replied. “The animal you turn into is somehow tied to your own character. I had this friend once and he turned into a stag. He was a protector and he was also gentle, sensitive, and very powerful. So the stag was a good representation of all that.”

“And you’re a dog.”

“I am, yes. Well, I am named after the Dog Star, after all,” Sirius joked, and Teddy smiled.

“Okay. Can I see the dog now?”

“You sure? Are you ready?” Sirius wanted to be completely sure.

“Ready,” Teddy assured, and then stared wide-eyed at Sirius.

Smiling, Sirius closed his eyes and Padfoot appeared.

“Ha!” Teddy laughed, clapping his hands. “Doggo! ‘Lo, doggo!”

Padfoot cautiously approached and let Teddy pet him for a while. Slowly both dog and child relaxed, and soon Padfoot was lying on the floor beside Teddy while the kid told him about his morning and scratched at his fur.

“That’s a lovely sight,” Remus commented from the door.

“Daddy! Doggo’s my friend,” Teddy informed. 

“Yes, I see that. His name is Padfoot, you know?”

“Padfoot,” Teddy repeated, and the dog licked his nose making him laugh and grow a little orange beak.

“Did Sirius explain to you how he can become Padfoot?” Remus enquired, and Teddy nodded.

“Yes. I want to do it, too! Can I learn?” Teddy asked, eagerly, and Remus laughed.

“You’re still a bit too young now, my boy. In the future, maybe. You’ll have to ask Sirius for help, though. He’s the Animagus of the family.”

Teddy thought on it for a bit. “Sirius? Come back?” 

Padfoot rose, took a step back, then Sirius was once again in the room.

“Yes, Teddy?”

“Will you teach me?” 

“I… Yes, of course,” Sirius smiled. “In a few years, okay?”

“Okay!” Teddy agreed and smiled back at Sirius, bringing tears to both his and Remus’s eyes. “Now, Padfoot again. Please?”

Sirius laughed. “I see how things are going to be from now on…” he commented, amused, then turned back into a dog and settled down to enjoy Teddy’s attentions.

Remus sat on the other side of Padfoot and, together, he and his son caressed the dog.

*

When Remus apparated back into the cottage after taking Teddy home, he found Sirius sitting on the sofa, vacant eyes staring at the television.

“Sirius?” He called, softly.

“Hmm… yes?”

“You okay?”

“He was never scared of me. I just changed too quickly and that’s why he cried. I didn’t think of that… I thought…” Sirius’s voice died.

Remus went to sit beside him and pulled him against his side.

“It was an easy mistake to make,” Remus consoled. “Of course, I could have explained everything to you if, I don’t know, you hadn’t left? And then cut me off?”

Sirius sighed. “Sorry…”

“You’re lucky I love you, you arse,” Remus said, obviously joking. 

“I am,” Sirius agreed. “I love you, too.”

“So no more running away without letting me know what’s wrong?” 

“No more. Promise,” Sirius vowed, feeling stupid for letting his fears and the pain of rejection, almost drive him away from what he knew was his rightful place. Thank Merlin for Andrew!

“Good. But, love, if you still feel that you need a break, you can have it.” Remus offered, in earnest. “As long as necessary, okay? Focus on ridding the house of your parents’ influence for a while, just that; though I do hope you’ll leave your nights open for me, for when I don’t have Teddy. You tell me when you feel ready to try again with my son, okay?” 

“Actually, a break doesn’t sound too bad,” Sirius admitted. “Just for a few days, maybe. To regroup and get my head out of this funk. But I’m afraid your son already invited himself for dinner next weekend to see, as he put it, ‘the big house with the black walls’. Guess Tonks’s been describing it to him. Wouldn’t want to disappoint him.”

Remus smiled, and thanked Sirius with a kiss.

They were going to be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you recall, Sirius talked about his plans for Grimmauld Place at one point but then so much happened and we never learned what they were. Well, we'll get to that next chapter ;)
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	15. New Purpose

A whole month passed after the very first dinner Sirius hosted for Teddy and his father at Grimmauld Place. Since then things between him and the kid had majorly improved, thanks mostly to the ever-growing affection Teddy felt for Padfoot, but also to a considerable thawing of Remus’s son towards Sirius himself. 

Remus and Tonks finally signed the divorce papers, and things were slowly improving between the two of them, too: Nowadays, there wasn’t only the politeness that two separated parents need to maintain for their child’s sake, but they also started building a new friendship that made Remus quite happy. Sirius was still sort of on trial with his cousin and with Andromeda, but he had no intention of pressing the issue. They would forgive him when they were able to, and he would accept what he couldn’t change.

For the first time in twenty years, Padfoot kept the wolf company during the Full and, even if the wolf was awake for barely one hour before the Wolfsbane calmed it down enough for it to sleep, the two of them were overjoyed to be once more in each other’s presence.

Amidst all of the pieces in his life ultimately finding their slot, Sirius woke up one day to realise that Grimmauld Place was now completely devoid of anything malicious. Everything that could be purified and sold was either sent to Andrew – and the endeavour already started earning them a good amount of money – or gifted to Harry and his friends when they expressed a liking to it. A few things were beyond help and Sirius destroyed them if it was possible to or, if they were indestructible, he offered them for safekeeping either to the Ministry or to Dumbledore, if the Headmaster requested them. A couple of things like, for example, the box containing Walburga’s portrait, were still stored in the attic and Sirius had half a mind to leave them there under permanent lock and key. 

All in all, with just some furniture left in it, the house only needed a good hand of fresh paint and some new furnishing and then it would be ready for the plans Sirius had for it. The room with the Black family tree would be the only one to remain empty and unused: It had proven impossible to unstick the tapestry from the walls or to cover it up, and so Sirius simply sealed the door forever. 

“Are you going to finally tell me what you have in mind for this place, Sirius?” Remus asked one day, cuddled against Sirius’s side on their bed.

“That would require me to get up and retrieve some documents, Moony,” Sirius replied, smiling. “Are you ready to unhand me?”

Remus burrowed further against Sirius’s body and shook his head.

“Later. Or you could just tell me now and leave the showing for when we’re up.”

Sirius laughed. “I suppose I could at that. Right, so, do you remember that one time Moody sent James and me on that mission in Bristol? During our training as Aurors? Assuming it could be called training, of course, given that we were fighting a war and we were basically just offered a few notions, told to grab our wands, and wished good luck,” Sirius recalled, and Remus nodded.

“I remember losing sleep for the whole three days you two were away, yes.”

Sirius caressed Remus’s head. “Yes, well, one thing I never told you was that, at some point, we were spotted; James thought it might have been Death Eaters and so we took refuge in what seemed like an abandoned building. Only, it wasn’t abandoned or even empty. It served as a shelter for homeless squibs thrown out and disowned because of their inability to do magic, or for witches and wizards belonging to families in disgrace, or just in need of a place to sleep that kept them out of the rain; James and I also saw a group of what we’re sure were werewolves huddled in one of the rooms. All of these people sought refuge in there because they didn’t have anywhere else to go, and still the only thing they could find was four walls and a roof.”

“That’s horrible, Sirius,” Remus commented. “I also saw, and sometime had to stay in, a few of those buildings during my travels for the Order, and not just in the course of the First War but quite recently, too. It breaks one’s heart…”

“Yes, exactly. So you see where I’m going with this?” Sirius asked, sitting up and looking animated. “I want Grimmauld Place to be a safe haven for these people. A place where they can come and find refuge, yes, but also a warm meal, medicine if they need it, and a way to improve their situation. I want to find someone to run the house and even have Healers and solicitors on hand, so we can not only take care of the ones in need, but maybe find them jobs, a permanent living arrangement, and a new life. Like Andrew did for me, you see?

Remus sat up, too, and Sirius could see he had tears in his eyes. 

“That’s wonderful, Sirius. I’m speechless, but definitely not surprised. Your idea does you credit, and it’s just so _you_. I’m so proud of you,” Remus said, and he leaned in to kiss Sirius’s mouth.

When they broke apart, Sirius continued, smiling and a bit flushed, “In the study, I have building plans and signed documents, and even a way to ensure people can find this place without having to change its Unplottable status. I want to keep that, you see, so that no one who doesn’t belong here can come and cause trouble. You can’t protest against something you can’t find, can you?”

Remus grinned. “Can I help in any way?”

“I was hoping you, and your book maybe, would want to advocate for the house and let stranded werewolves know they would be welcome here,” Sirius proposed, and Remus immediately agreed. “I want to turn the huge cellar downstairs into smaller, reinforced rooms, so that even at the Full they could safely be in the house. Obviously, Wolfsbane would be provided for them.”

“Merlin, Sirius… I truly have no words to express how amazed I am by your plans… But, everything you’re proposing will have to be sustained and paid for. The Wolfsbane alone is quite expensive. Have you thought about that?” 

“In my parents’ vault at Gringotts there’s more than enough gold to cover any expense for decades to come,” Sirius revealed. “And if I should need more, there’s always the Black family vault. It’s to my name and I can dispose of it as I see fit. I have neither need nor interest in that cursed money. Better it be used for something good, wouldn’t you agree?”

Remus nodded, smiling, and Sirius continued.

“Besides, if everything goes according to plan and we are actually able to help people find work and a new position, my hope is that the ones that receive help would want to give back something, contribute in helping others, you see? Volunteer their time and effort, make small donations if they’re able, or even put their talents to good use for the house. In time, this could even become almost entirely self-sustained,” Sirius explained.

Remus tackled Sirius and pushed him down on the bed, laying completely on top of him.

“I take it you like the idea?” Sirius quipped, and Remus grinned.

“You are something else,” Remus said, love shining so clearly in his eyes. “Also, I bet the idea of using your parents’ money to get this charity off the ground makes you devilishly happy.”

“Ah, Moony. You know me too well. I was even thinking of hanging my mother’s portrait, as shrunk as it is now, down in the cellar so she can scream and the most we could hear would be a squeak or two. She could keep the werewolves amused, make herself useful,” Sirius joked, and Remus laughed out loud.

“That’s a lovely image, I’ll admit.”

Sirius grinned and rubbed his nose against Remus’s.

“Thank you,” Remus whispered, surprising Sirius.

“For what?”

“I know that, at least in part, your willingness to help my kind is due to your feelings for me and I… Sirius, I will never be able to express just how grateful I am that you not only accept me, and you always did, but that you’re disposed to extend that acceptance and your kindness to others like me. I love you,” Remus said, kissing Sirius.

Sirius held him against his body and slowly opened his legs so that Remus’s lower half could rest in between them. Their semi-hard cocks rubbed deliciously together and both men sighed.

“The idea that there are others like you,” Sirius said. “People that are good and talented, and that deserve so much yet they’re forced to live in poverty or in hiding for fear of capture and death, unable to sustain themselves or even to afford the potion that could help ease their transformation… I can’t stand it, Remus! It’s barbaric. So yes, it is because of you, because I know you and I love you, that I want to help werewolves. But also, I know what it means to be an outcast, to have no means, no future, no hope. To be in pain and to know that it won’t end… It will never end. I was lucky, though. Someone offered me a hand and lifted me out of the pit. I _need_ to do the same now. I need to give back…”

Tears in his eyes, Remus let himself collapse bodily on Sirius, pressing his pelvis against his partner’s and hiding his face in Sirius’s neck. Sirius kept holding him and caressing him while Remus cried softly and repeated over and over how much he loved him.

For a while they remained like that, comforted by each other’s scent and closeness. Then, Remus finally rose and propped himself up on his elbows.

“Hi…” he said, smiling.

“Hi, Moony,” Sirius replied. “Enough cuddles?”

Remus laughed. “I don’t think I’ll ever have enough of that, no, but now I have something else in mind,” Remus said, winking.

“Oh? Tell me more.”

“I want to ride you,” Remus whispered on Sirius’s mouth, and then licked it.

Sirius’s hands instantly found their way on Remus’s ass, and he caressed and kneaded his cheeks.

“You’re not still sore from before?” He asked, and Remus shook his head.

“What I am is still slick and ready,” he entreated, and Sirius’s eyes darkened.

To prove Remus’s words, Sirius’s fingers slipped between his asscheeks and found Remus’s hole. It was indeed still stretched from their previous lovemaking and one of Sirius’s fingers found its way in quite easily.

“Hmmm,” Sirius mumbled. “Yes, I think you’re right,” he said, working another finger inside and starting to fuck Remus slowly with them.

Remus moaned and thrust his cock against Sirius’s. They rubbed on each other, and Sirius kept finger-fucking Remus until they were both sweating and panting hard.

“If we don’t stop, I’m going to come,” Remus groaned, and Sirius let his fingers slip out of him.

“Thought you wanted a ride,” he hinted, darkly, making Remus scramble to sit up and straddle Sirius’s hips.

Slowly, Remus lowered himself on Sirius’s cock, not stopping until he was completely seated on him. Still laying on the bed, Sirius bent his knees to get a bit of leverage but didn’t start thrusting immediately. He waited for Remus to adjust and start fucking himself on his cock.

Keeping almost all of Sirius’s cock inside, Remus started grinding back and forth against him, making them both groan and causing Sirius’s hands to grip his hips.

"Ah… Yes… Move like that,” Sirius urged, and Remus kept grinding and grinding, until he felt he couldn’t wait anymore and started riding Sirius’s cock. 

Raising his hips off the bed, Sirius met every downward thrust with one of his own and soon they were fucking each other frantically. It hadn’t been that long since their last orgasm so neither of them could last for very long, and they didn’t even try. 

Sirius started slamming himself up inside Remus, who kept riding him hard while at the same time working his own cock to completion. When Remus started to come, Sirius kept fucking into him for a second before stilling and just pushing his cock in so that he would press against Remus’s prostate and heighten his pleasure. 

Remus shouted his release, and Sirius followed suit as soon as Remus finished. 

“I love you,” Remus said, once more, before collapsing sideways on the bed.

* 

“Have you thought of a name for the house, Sirius?” Harry asked that afternoon, when Sirius informed him of his plans and showed him the documents.

“I think I’ll call it _Hunter House_. To honour Andrew who gave me that name, of course, and also to keep the name itself alive,” Sirius revealed.

“It’s a fantastic idea, Pads,” Remus agreed, and Sirius smiled at him.

“Yes,” Harry said. “I really like it, too. Of course, we’re all going to help you.”

“We?” Sirius asked.

“Well, yeah. Ginny and I, and Ron and Hermione, too. Dumbledore, of course. And all of the Weasleys will want to lend a hand, I’m sure of it,” Harry promised.

“I don’t think Molly…” Sirius started, but Harry interrupted.

“She’s already almost completely over it and, as soon as she’ll be told about your charity plans for Grimmauld Place, I know she will want to get involved. You just wait, you’ll have her around here day and night soon enough!” 

Sirius’s eyes widened. “Ah. Well… Quick, Moony. Think of something else we can do to make her mad, so she can get back to avoiding us!” He joked, and the others laughed.

“But, Sirius,” Harry enquired, after a bit. “What are your own plans for the future? I mean, you’ll still stay in Grimmauld Place to get it ready and set everything up for the person you’ll hire to run things, but what happens when that’s done? Where are you going to live? You won’t… Leave, will you? Go back to Italy? Permanently, I mean, since I know you’ll soon be travelling back and forth to see Andrew and work with him.”

Sirius grabbed Harry’s shoulder to reassure him. “I won’t leave, don’t worry. Yes, I plan on returning to Italy frequently and I also want to bring Andrew here so you all can meet him properly; but I want to make England my home again. Andrew knows about it and he agrees. We are putting in a request for private Portkeys, so we can travel internationally whenever we want without having to wait to find an available one. Kingsley already has my request, and Andrew presented his to the Italian Minister of Magic, too. They’ll be getting in touch and taking care of everything for us. It’s almost all set,” Sirius explained.

“Okay, good,” Harry sighed in relief. “But where will you live? Are you and Remus going to stay at the cottage?”

Sirius looked at Remus who nodded. “Go ahead,” he said, smiling.

“You see,” Sirius told Harry. “Along with this house and my uncle Alphard’s flat, I also inherited a couple of lots of building land and one of them has the structure of a house already in place. We would just need to finish construction, furnish it, and it would become perfectly habitable. It’s on a gorgeous, isolated hill in Sussex, and Remus here is already half in love with the place. Way he looks at it? I’m jealous, I tell you.”

“Oh, shut it,” Remus said, sticking his tongue out at Sirius and making Harry laugh.

“That’s great!” Harry commented. “When can I see it?”

Sirius laughed. “Whenever you want. We can make it a day, if you want. You invite Ginny, and we’ll be bringing Teddy so he can tell us where he’d like his bedroom to be for when he stays with us. I’ll prepare a basket and we can have a picnic.”

“Brilliant!” Harry agreed, enthusiastically.

Remus laughed, nodding. “Sounds good. But, you know, since you mentioned it I always meant to ask: What are you going to do about Alphard’s flat, Sirius?”

Sirius blushed. “Uhm… Well… You see… I thought… Uh…” He babbled.

“Can’t be that bad,” Remus smiled, trying to put Sirius at ease. “Come on, just tell us.”

“Yes, well… I wanted to ask Tonks if she would like to have it. Alphard was her uncle, too, once-removed or whatever, and she is entitled to some Black inheritance anyway. Plus, the flat is nice, has two bedrooms so Teddy can have his own room, and it’s in central London. Tonks used to say she’d love to live in London way back when, and I know she doesn’t want to stay at Andromeda’s for very long…” Sirius explained.

“But that’s a great idea!” Harry exclaimed. “Why where you so hesitant to speak of it?”

“She’s not… Tonks, she doesn’t really… Well, she hasn’t forgiven me yet, not completely, and I didn’t know if she would want me to offer her the flat. She might even think I’m doing it to buy her forgiveness, and I’m not! That’s not why…” Sirius trailed off.

“Of course it’s not the reason,” Remus said. “And I do understand your hesitation but I think you should talk to Dora. I don’t believe she will see anything fishy in your offer, but even if she does… You can explain and she will believe you. It might even be a chance for the two of you to sit and talk properly, whatever the outcome. If she doesn’t end up accepting your offer, it’s still good for you to see each other and start a conversation again. You haven’t spoken more than a few words since the time she came here to tell you she knew about us.”

Harry nodded his agreement, and Sirius sighed.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll try,” he said, and Remus went to kiss him.

“Did I thank you already? Thinking about an accommodation for Dora and Teddy, one that’s entirely their own, it’s a load off my mind, Sirius. You don’t know how much I appreciate your kindness and your help,” Remus said, kissing Sirius again.

“You’re welcome, Moony,” Sirius smiled. “Despite how abominably I behaved when she was your wife, I do love Tonks and I want her to be happy, too.”

Remus leaned in to steal another kiss, and Sirius deepened it.

“Oookay,” Harry said, putting his hands in front of his glasses to cover his eyes. “I believe that’s my cue!”

Sirius and Remus laughed.

*

“_Tutto bene, allora?_” Andrew asked, from the mirror.

“_Sì, papà_. In the end, Tonks and I had a lovely chat and she was happy to be offered Alphard’s flat. It was a bit rocky at the start, but by the time she left the house I felt like we’d taken many steps forward,” Sirius recounted.

“That’s what I wanted to hear! I’m happy about it, Pads. You see? Everything is finally going as it should,” Andrew smiled.

Sirius nodded, then looked at the door when Remus entered the room.

“Remus’s here, _papà_.”

“Hello, Remus, my boy,” Andrew greeted, and Remus went to stand behind Sirius so he could look into the mirror and be seen by Andrew, too.

“_Buonasera_, Andy. I was hoping to find Sirius talking to you as I also have something to tell you. Or, to ask you, actually,” Remus said, and Sirius turned to look at him from over his own shoulder.

“You do?” He asked, and Remus smiled.

“Oh, yes. May I?” Remus moved beside Sirius and plucked the mirror out of his hands so he alone could face Andrew.

“By all means. Don’t mind me,” Sirius said, sarcastically, and moved away a step.

Catching him by the sleeve not to let Sirius move too far, Remus turned his attention to Andrew.

“Andrew,” he addressed, solemnly. “I would like to ask you for your permission to marry Sirius. In all but name, you are his father and I would like to have your blessings.”

Sirius gasped, staring at Remus open-mouthed.

“You… You…” He babbled.

A huge grin on his face, Andrew promptly replied, “You have my blessings, Remus. Of course you do! And may the two of you be happy every single day of your life together!”

“_Grazie_, Andy,” Remus smiled. Then, stepping forward to prop the mirror against a stack of books for support so that Andrew didn’t feel excluded, he turned towards Sirius.

“What do you say, Pads? Would you like to be my husband?” Remus proposed, smiling.

Sirius, whose wide-open mouth seemed permanently stuck, finally forced it close and swallowed.

“Yes,” Sirius replied simply, eyes tearing up. “By Godric, yes, of course!”

Andrew clapped from the mirror watching Remus kiss Sirius deeply. “_Congratulazioni, ragazzi_!” he yelled. 

Holding Remus tight against himself, Sirius turned to stare at his father: The father he’d chosen for himself when he saved Sirius’s life and gave him a better one. The man solely responsible for everything good that was now happening to Sirius. 

“I love you, dad,” Sirius said, and Andrew’s eyes filled. “Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tutto bene, allora? = Everything okay, then?  
Sì papà = Yes Dad  
Buonasera = Good evening  
Grazie = Thank you  
Congratulazioni, ragazzi = Congratulations, boys
> 
> Next time, we're going to attend a wedding before saying goodbye :) Thank you for reading!


	16. Epilogue - The Wedding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, this is the last installment of what is to date the longest story I ever wrote. I'm proud of it and I want to thank everyone who read it and stopped by to leave kudos or even to comment. I hope you enjoyed the ride :)

**Fifteen months later**

The house was called _Luna Calante_, the expression Italians use to describe a waning moon, and it was accessible only by invitation. It stood proudly on a hill, surrounded by acres of land and trees, and with just another smaller building close by: A barn, padded and fortified, that hosted a dog and a wolf whenever the moon was full instead.

The name had been chosen to signify the time when things were calmer, full of hope for the days to come, and almost completely devoid of worry. A time when Remus Lupin could relax safely in the knowledge that his greatest enemy, the moon, was going to be asleep for weeks, and a time when Sirius Black knew his partner would be out of the wolf’s way and secure in his own arms.

The ground floor of the house was composed by a large kitchen, a sitting room with an enormous window that led to the garden, and two smaller studies, connected by a door, where the owners worked during the day. On the upper floor were three bedrooms: A big master bedroom and two guest rooms, one of which was Teddy Lupin’s room, furnished and decorated as the child requested, available when he wanted to spend the night with his father. Two large bathrooms and a small closet completed that floor. There was an attic, too, an open space with a sun-roof where Sirius loved to spend his time whenever he wasn’t working, and that could be turned into another bedroom should the need occur. 

It was a beautiful home, designed by Sirius and Remus exactly the way they’d envisioned it, and integrated perfectly in the landscape without disrupting the peace. 

Usually, just a handful of people were invited at the house – and an even smaller number had complete access to it whenever they wished to visit – but the day that dawned on a clear morning in June wasn’t a regular one: Sirius and Remus were getting married that day, and _Luna Calante_ was ready for a hundred guests.

*

“How do I look?” Sirius asked, turning around and facing Andrew.

He was wearing bespoke silver robes, embroidered with dark blue designs, that fit him perfectly and enhanced the colour of his eyes. It was a perfect match for Remus’s own robes, that were instead dark blue with silvery designs. 

“Incredibly handsome, _figliolo_,” Andrew replied, eyes watering. He was also wearing elegant robes, in black and gold, and looked as happy as Sirius ever saw him.

“Thanks, _papà_,” Sirius smiled. “Now, isn’t it almost time to go? Is everything ready?”

“Everything’s perfect, Pads. The lawn looks beautiful and everyone already found their seats in front of the altar. Kingsley’s waiting for you there and, as planned, you and I will arrive from one side, Remus and Harry from the other, then the two of you together will walk the aisle, and Harry and I will follow,” Andrew patiently explained for the hundredth time.

“Right, good. We got this,” Sirius nodded.

“We do, son, why are you so anxious now?”

Sirius sighed. “I’m not… I… I just want to get on with it! I haven’t seen Remus since yesterday – bloody stupid tradition! ‘S not like one of us is a blushing bride!”

Andrew laughed, “Well, you _are_ certainly pretty enough to be the bride,” he quipped.

Sirius mock-glared at him, making him laugh even harder.

A knock on the door interrupted whatever Sirius wanted to reply, and a moment later Harry poked his head in.

“Sirius, are you… Wow! You look great!” Harry said, looking at his Godfather.

Sirius opened his arms and twirled for Harry. “Nice, eh?”

“Yeah. Complements Remus’s perfectly, too,” Harry smiled. “You ready?”

Harry was chosen to be Remus’s best man. Sirius had wanted him to be in the wedding party, but he knew no one else but Andrew could serve as his own best man. Luckily, Remus was more than happy to claim Harry as his own, and obviously named Teddy as the ring-bearer.

“More than ready! Go get my husband and let’s start this!” Sirius exclaimed and, laughing, Harry closed the door on his way out.

*  
In front of the altar, with Kinglsey Shacklebolt, Minister of Magic and dear friend, serving as officiant, Remus and Sirius seemed unable to take their eyes off one another. They were standing there with Andrew and Harry at their sides, facing each other and holding each other’s hands, and everything else around them disappeared.

“Sirius and Remus,” Kingsley started. “You are here today surrounded by all the people you love and that love you to declare your commitment to one another. The contract you’ve chosen to enter is a permanent one, akin to a bond of the years past, and it shouldn’t be entered lightly. It is, by all intents and purposes, unbreakable and for that reason I will need you to formally express your agreement to it. Later on, you will be free to pronounce your vows to one another in the manner you see fit. Sirius Black,” Kingsley called.

“I am here,” Sirius replied, eyes fixed on Remus.

“Do you come here today to enter this contract by your own volition?”

“I do.”

Kingsley nodded. “And do you understand that your life will be permanently bound to Remus’s from this moment on?”

“Well, I hope so,” Sirius joked, and Remus grinned.

“Sirius,” Kingsley chided, gently. “Give me the official answer, please.”

“I do.”

“Then finally I ask: Sirius Black, will you accept the contract and tie your life to Remus’s?”

Sirius squeezed Remus’s hands. “I will.”

“Remus Lupin,” Kingsley called, then.

“I am here,” Remus replied.

Kingsley repeated the official procedure with him too and, when Remus’s last answer, a sonorous “I will,” was pronounced, Kingsley raised his wand.

“By the power vested in me,” he said, lowering the wand so that the tip touched Sirius’s and Remus’s clasped hands, “I declare you are joined.” A thin string of light sparked from the wand and twined around Remus’s and Sirius’s wrists, it shone there for a second before vanishing. 

“You are free to promise yourselves to one another now,” Kingsley said after he put his wand away. “Remus? You told me you wanted to go first?”

“Yes,” Remus answered. “If you don’t mind, Pads?”

“By all means.”

“Thank you. I thought long and hard about what I wanted to say to you here, now, in front of everyone that means something to us, and the truth is… Words will never be enough to express just how much you mean to me. You have been my first friend, my ally, my protector, and my healer; I cannot recall one single day of my life when you have not been in my thoughts and in my heart. Ever since I was eleven years old you have shaped my existence and the man I’ve become today is due in large part to you. We took our time… Merlin, talk about taking the long way home, eh?” Remus smiled.

Sirius laughed out loud, “Ah, Moony. We got there in the end. ‘S what matters.”

“It is, yes,” Remus replied. “And I guess what I wanted to say here is: It doesn’t matter how long it took, you were my home since the beginning and I was always going to come back to you. I love you, Sirius Hunter Black.”

Sirius grinned widely at the name, and both Andrew and Harry sported matching grins, too. Recently, Sirius had legally dropped the name Orion from his own name and substituted it with Hunter, the name Andrew had given him and that had somehow brought him back to life.

“Sirius,” Kingsley called. “Your turn.”

“Right. I… Moony, I was lost for so long and I’d started to think that I would never be able to escape that feeling. Something inside me was broken and, while a few pieces I’d been capable of repairing – with some help, of course – a larger one, a truly important piece of my soul seemed forever out of reach. At least until I got you back and suddenly I was whole again. You make me whole, Remus; you give me the strength to confront my fears, you give me the support I need to follow my dreams, and you alone can understand me and my needs, and know exactly how to fulfil them. I am only, truly alive when I am with you. I love you, Remus John Lupin,” Sirius declared, voice trembling a bit at the end, and there was no dry eye among the guests.

Remus nodded at Sirius, mouthing ‘I love you’ once more, then Kingsley spoke again.

“Can I have the rings?”

Tonks helped Teddy hold the pillow with the rings and the kid made his way towards the altar. He was wearing a miniature replica of his father’s robes, and he looked so cute everyone smiled upon looking at him.

The rings Teddy was bearing had been donated to Sirius and Remus by Andrew. He’d had them in his shop for more than a decade, but he never could find it in his heart to sell them because their history called for a very special couple. They were platinum rings with the words “in aeternum” – latin for forever – engraved on them in a golden swirl, and they’d been worn by the very first same sex couple to enter in a marriage contract in Italy. The two wizards had been revolutionary, and fought hard for the right to be recognised as a couple in a time when homosexuality was still stigmatized. They’d won and they’d spent all their lives together, never wavering, never being away from one another for too long; and finally, old and tired, they’d died only a mere three days off one another. A love like theirs, manifested by the rings they’d worn during the course of their marriage, merited to be passed on to someone just as committed, just as in love.

Sirius had known the story behind the rings, having worked with Andrew in the shop for years, but Remus had cried upon learning about it and vowed to always strive to be deserving of the rings’ history, and of Andrew’s faith in his and Sirius’s union.

Offering the pillow to Kingsley, Teddy smiled up at his dad and Sirius then ran back to where his mother sat.

“Remus, if you would take one of the rings,” Kingsley said.

Remus picked up the ring they’d chosen to become Sirius’s and waited for Kingsley’s instruction.

“Repeat after me: I offer you this ring as proof of my devotion, faithfulness, and love. Wear it as a symbol of our union and as a promise for our future,” Kingsley recited.

“I offer you this ring as proof of my devotion, faithfulness, and love. Wear it as a symbol of our union and as a promise for our future,” Remus declared and placed the ring on Sirius’s finger. Then, releasing his hand, Remus took out his wand and lightly touched the ring, infusing it with a bit of his own magic.

Sirius then repeated the words and the actions.

As soon as Sirius placed his wand back inside his sleeve, Kingsley said, “Well, I do think it’s time for a kiss now. You are officially husbands. Rejoice!”

Every single guest took out their wands and confetti and small fireworks exploded all around them while Sirius and Remus kissed one another for the first time as a married couple.

*

After lunch, but before the dancing begun, Sirius and Remus started mingling among their guests and greeted the ones that they hadn’t been able to immediately reach, swallowed as they were by the affection of their immediate families.

Remus’s editor, Amelia Fey, was in attendance and she kissed the grooms before informing Remus that his book would indeed be published at the end of that same month.

“There’s a lot of buzz around it, Remus,” Amelia said. “Everyone at the publishing house is sure it’ll become a best seller in no time. Of course, your union with Sirius and the story of how the two of you looked for each other helped creating interest, but after the war there’s been a renewed curiosity about Dark Creatures and I anticipate your own voice will be very appreciated in the field.”

“Thank you, Amelia,” Remus smiled, and Sirius patted his husband on the back.

“I demand a signed copy,” Sirius said, winking; then he jokingly quoted, “To my husband. The light of my life, the star of my nights…”

“The pain in my arse,” Remus finished, and Amelia laughed.

“Later, Remus,” Sirius grinned, making Remus blush and Amelia laugh even harder.

Also in attendance were Marjorie and Oliver Burke, the couple Sirius hired to take care of the house in Grimmauld Place, now known as _Hunter House_, that, while still in the early stages, already hosted a few people in need and counted a few volunteers. Among them, the Burke’s daughter, Eliza, who was a trained Healer at St. Mungo’s and was the first to offer her services to the guests of _Hunter House_. 

Eliza Burke also started going out with Tonks a few months prior and things between them were going really well. She’d been invited to the wedding already but Tonks had still wanted Remus to count Eliza as her plus one, and Remus was overjoyed to see his ex-wife happy in a new relationship.

Marjorie took Sirius aside to talk about a few things concerning _Hunter House_, and Remus spent some time chatting with Oliver. 

Someone cleared his throat to catch Remus’s and Sirius’s attention and they turned.

“Oh, hello, Severus,” Remus greeted. “Thank you for coming.”

“Lupin,” Severus Snape replied, nodding. “I was hoping to speak with your husband for a moment,” he then said, looking at Sirius.

“Yes?” Sirius cocked his head.

“The Headmaster informed me that you were looking for someone willing to oversee the brewing of the Wolfsbane for your charity. I can’t commit to be the sole brewer, but I could train someone – ideally more than one person – so that the house could store its own reserve that would be replenished as needed,” Snape offered.

Sirius was surprised. Things between himself and Snape had thawed a bit when he’d learned about the Potion Master’s role in the war, and how he’d fortuitously survived Nagini’s attack, but to say that they were friends would be a gross exaggeration. Still, Snape’s offer was extremely generous and Sirius wasn’t about to let pettiness ruin the House’s chances of safely hosting werewolves.

“That would be wonderful, Snape. Thank you,” Sirius said, smiling, and then turned towards the Burkes’. “What do you say Marjorie? Oliver? Do you have someone in mind that could train under Snape’s supervision?”

The Burkes’ voiced their suggestions and soon they were all setting up a meeting at _Hunter House_ for the following week to go over the details.

With a bow of his head, Snape left them.

“What about that, uh?” Remus commented, and Sirius shook his head.

“Never in a million years, I swear…” he said.

*

Evening fell and only a tiny sliver of moon was visible in the night sky.

“Did you see Andrew?” Sirius asked Remus outside the tent, where the two of them were taking a break from dancing.

“I confess I wish I hadn’t,” was Remus’s reply, and Sirius turned to stare at his husband.

“What? Why?”

“He was sitting between McGonagall and Pomfrey, and they were giggling. Giggling, I tell you! I never want to even think about the reason why the two ladies were so amused by your dad,” Remus recounted, smiling a bit.

“Ha! Good on you, Andy! Though, to be fair, I saw him flirt with Dumbledore earlier too, so the ladies might have some competition. Unless they fancy an orgy, that is,” Sirius confided, grinning.

“Merlin, Sirius! I’m never going to be able to scrub that off my mind now, am I?” Remus asked, a bit green around the gills, and Sirius laughed out loud.

A flash of red hair caught Sirius’s eyes and he called out, “Ginny!”

She turned around and waved, and Sirius grabbed Remus’s hand and pulled him towards Ginny.

“About those tickets for your next game…” Sirius started to say while he walked.

Smiling, Remus held his husband’s hand and let himself be led. 

Time was finally on their side.


End file.
